Too submissive

[Deleted Member]

Is it possible to be… too submissive? I apologized to the person who robbed me. All I was thinking was “I don’t want them mad at me” and handed over my stuff without even thinking of resisting. That’s not right…

[ge****]

In the instance you've given I'd say it has nothing at all to do with your being submissive and everything to do with your protecting yourself - whether that be consciously or subconsciously - most people would do the same thing regardless of their sexuality or position.
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I also think there's a huge difference between being a submissive in the D/s sense, and being a submissively minded personality - now the two do coincide, of course they do, but I don't think they should be confused either.
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In the D/s sense, and within a safe dynamic with agreed rules, boundaries and limits, along with mutual consent and knowledge, then no I don't necessarily think it's possible to be too submissive, so long as both sides of the coin are happy.
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In a more generalised personality sense, where someone allows others to walk all over them and take advantage all the time then yes, it's possible to be "too submissive" in that sense but that has nothing to do with kink or BDSM as such, and is a personality thing that needs to be addressed if the person concerned is not happy with the state of affairs.
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Now as I said there are crossovers between the two, and when that happens there are real dangers of abusive dominants being the ones taking advantage - which is why it's key for any submissive to know their own mind and desires and know it's OK to question a dominant and say no when they feel they need to.

[HamCoBondage]

23 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

In the instance you've given I'd say it has nothing at all to do with your being submissive and everything to do with your protecting yourself - whether that be consciously or subconsciously - most people would do the same thing regardless of their sexuality or position.
.
I also think there's a huge difference between being a submissive in the D/s sense, and being a submissively minded personality - now the two do coincide, of course they do, but I don't think they should be confused either.
.
In the D/s sense, and within a safe dynamic with agreed rules, boundaries and limits, along with mutual consent and knowledge, then no I don't necessarily think it's possible to be too submissive, so long as both sides of the coin are happy.
.
In a more generalised personality sense, where someone allows others to walk all over them and take advantage all the time then yes, it's possible to be "too submissive" in that sense but that has nothing to do with kink or BDSM as such, and is a personality thing that needs to be addressed if the person concerned is not happy with the state of affairs.
.
Now as I said there are crossovers between the two, and when that happens there are real dangers of abusive dominants being the ones taking advantage - which is why it's key for any submissive to know their own mind and desires and know it's OK to question a dominant and say no when they feel they need to.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

[Je****]

Firstly, are you okay???

 

Sorry that happened to you! 

 

I am a very apologetic person. I'm the kind who apologises for apologising. 

But I wouldn't say I am submissive. 

 

It's my nature and past experiences as to why i apologize, (being gaslight n ***d for years) so i always feel i need to say sorry in difficult situations.

 

And what you have went through here is a difficult situation. I don't know your past or reasonings for being apologetic, but i would say it's most likely to do with *** and self protection. Seeming submissive, to not appear threatening, ultimately minimalizes confrontation and escalation.

They took what they wanted and left you (physically) unharmed (I'm assuming as you didn't indicate otherwise, and i say physically because things like this always play on us mentally sometime afterwards).

 

It is a difficult situation as mentioned, but has nothing at all to do with your D/s or sexual lifestyle choices. 

The two are not hand in hand. Plus a lot of submissives in bdsm, are actually very strong in their every day life and personality. The submission helps them break that usual habit and let go of that control now and then.

I'd suggest you go to the police if anything was taken and hopefully they catch the fucker. Plus if it starts to make you upset and shaken, go to the doctor and/or see a specialist before things can escalate in your head. It's not a normal thing for a person to go through. 

Hugs, and look after yourself ❤️

[Deleted Member]

I know it is separate from kink and that lifestyle but I can’t help but let the two blend. It maybe be because I’m neurotypical or maybe I am seeking a 24/7 type of dynamic. I was grateful I wasn’t harmed but the entire time I was thinking “this is more than trying to avoid ***. Why are you completely submitting?” My fight or flight instincts kicked in and I choose the fetal position.

[Th****]

Not everyone is cut out to take the hard stand, and believe me when I say I hate saying that. I used to volunteer to run into burning buildings, I did my time in the military, and I did a short stint as a law en***ment officer while I was a volunteer firefighter. I have always taken the hard stand, the most uncomfortable, most dangerous way through life. These days I'm dodging falling trees and heavy equipment roll overs. Choosing the easiest way out isn't necessarily a bad thing, just as taking the most dangerous way through life isn't a bad thing it doesn't make you more or less submissive, or dominant, it does make you, who you are. Don't be so hard on yourself, you may have very well done the right thing in order to live for another day. We used to tell the public to not try to be heroes just cooperate with the robbery demands, as it would likely save your life. In a round about way I'm trying to say you can't second guess yourself, you made the right decision at the time

[SophieSubSlut11]

Remember, being submissive is a personality trait. But it is not the same as the BDSM archetype.
I am submissive by choice and I submit to only my Dom when I’m in a dynamic. Otherwise, no I’m not submissive and I don’t gift anybody with any levels of my submission unless they are my Dom.

You might want to look at submission as a choice and not just a personality trait.

It’s your power and it’s your passion and it’s fucking beautiful. Don’t dare give any random people an ounce of it!