Deleted Member Posted February 10, 2019 Posted February 10, 2019 Right. This is a long one. 😂 sub / dom. What is it to you. So I will quickly give u my backstory. Am peach 🍑 i am a bbw and I am the juiciest peach you will ever eat. Sorry couldn't resist 😂 anyhoo sub dom relationship has many layers to me. And will be different to everyone else. To me being a sub is life. It's hardwired into me. I had to grow up fast due to not having the best life. Was living myself at 17. So I've always had to have a huge level of controle in my life. (Gose deeper than just having a house but trying to keep it short as I can) when I was 17/18 I met a man. I always was a bbw but was ashamed and never embraced my beauty. So having a "hot" 28 year old man into me was in my head insane. I did everything I could to please him to keep him and make him happy. I realise that's where my sub side started. Even though I was the dom 😂 . He would tell me what to do what he liked. And I would because I would do anything to make him happy. He loved me stomping on his balls with my 6inch heels on. And trampling his back. Knife play on his balls or pins through them alot of things that most men would consider a hard limit. This was my first sexual relationship. I was threw in the deep end. But I did it all the keep a man. Hey I liked the power too. But more so having them collapse in sexual pleasure than the control power of it. Things turned bad. Long story he was mental emotional verbal abusive. (Rape aswell) he is currently in jail still for another 8 year cause he literally couldn't stop raping woman. He had control of my entire life. Limited and separated friends/family from me. I gave him all the power and controle cause I thought it was love. If I prove myself enough he will trust me. Just needs to take time and all that shite. His mental abuse left a huge imprint in me. Am I still a sub ? Yes. Why? Because in a world where I do everything. Sex is the only time I can allow myself to lose control. To lose myself in the sexual intoxicating sub dom connection. It is hardwired into me. BUT it's real for me. I don't give the tiltle to anyone. I can and have been in relationship for year and not made them my dom. Sex is sex. Love making is literally making love. Fucking is when u want that good hard fuck. To me bdsm can come into all of them without it being sub/dom. On here I get guys alot messaging me saying you sub or dom without even saying hi. And as soon as I reply sub. They expect me to be there sub cause there a "dom" and they demand it 😂 it don't work that way. (Not saying all guys are like that btw) to me it's a tiltle I don't just give to men. It's a bond. A connection. Almost like being in love. You would do ANYTHING for them. And so many people seem to think that you can only be sub or dom. Some people like aspects of sub/dom life without being either. Like I feel like so many people are now "subs" just cause they seen 50 shades and they like a good spanking so they think they should call men daddy now. Like I am a million % all for exploring your sexuality and boundaries. But I feel like so many people are using the word dom and sub without understanding or living it. And can be a let down for when u are trying to get into a new dom relationship. Like yes everyone needs to start somewhere. But people acting like your guys the master of all doms and you would do anything for him when you have just started being his "sub" for less than a day. For me dom is layered on communication bond trust and MANY other things and can't be granted to any man or woman just cause there now looking for a new sub. What's every one else experience or views on sub / dom. Understand every relationship / sexual relationship is different.