Gender Expectations

[Sa****]

My premise- working through societal gender expectations is a huge driver for many of our kink needs.

I have always been quite a bit bigger and stronger physically than my peers and that comes with lots of positives (obvious) and some negatives (in younger years running into insecure people who attempt to feel better by trying to battle someone else).

If I translate that to my Dom kink, it’s a very natural and comfortable role and that’s great. But, the best part for me is being able to create a totally safe space for someone else to be free and indulge their fantasies.

Love to hear others thoughts …

[un****]

i’d agree i’ve always been quite a bit taller usually half a foot to a foot taller than most of my subs with some exceptions and its made it easier in a sense to be not only dominant but also protective when its someone much smaller in stature than myself

[ey****]

Social Gender Expectations (or, often going against them) is a big thing for a lot of people

(to be honest - in general, a 'kink' is usually anything that goes against social expectations - you could discuss you had hot sex with someone you met at a bar the night before - but probably couldn't say that if it was pegging)

the correlations aren't precise - but for example a sub guy could feel solace in an environment where they're stripped of control, or where there's less of a requirement to show perceived masculine behaviour, appearance or traits

a Dominant guy might for example be physically commanding (not that this is a requisite) but use that to provide trust and security rather than intimidation (though, some subs might be into being intimidated) 

 

 

[CopperKnob]

An intellectual post on Fet??
Considering the two sexes (femme/masc), I agree that most of us old enough to be here on Fet will have been raised according to our physical sex with the feminine/masculine expectations and whilst I don't know the stats, I do question whether there are more femmes identifying as submissive than there are males (though I feel that this may be skewed by the amount of males identifying as 'Doms' simply because they think a kink site will get them laid easier that Tinder and truly haven't got a dominant bone in their body)
But I definitely feel that this thought process is lifting slightly, particularly in europe/america as opposed to asia/africa etc where there seems to still be some rigidity in gender 'norms' or expectations.
Whether that is due to societies gradual acceptance that gender is non binary or the feminist movement continuing to bring about equality for all genders I don't know. I suspect it's likely multifactorial.
And so, I wonder whether, with regards to your hypothesis that we could be considering identity as opposed to simply gender?

[Deleted Member]

More like roles. We have physiological makeups that entail one Is better for certain things. The rest of what you said .....idk. Sounded like rambling.

[ey****]

4 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

I do question whether there are more femmes identifying as submissive than there are males

I have some figures, ha
From a YouGov survey, in the US, 999 people in the survey - 460 men, 539 women (yougov is notorious for binarising results)

32% of men enjoyed either role, dominant or submissive

18% of men only enjoyed being dominant

10% of men only enjoyed being submissive

32% Neither. 8% Don't know. 2% prefer not to say

Compare that to the women’s numbers:

24% of women enjoyed either role, dominant or submissive

4% of women only enjoyed being dominant

21% of women only enjoyed being submissive

Neither 35%. Don't know 10%. Prefer not to say 8%.

In other words: women are far more likely to (exclusively) enjoy a submissive role.

(this also answer the questions on 'the ratio'.  If this reflected through society than a man who was submissive and only submissive and wanted a Dominant who was only Dominant then there are 2.5 men to every 1 woman.  Not the 1000 often implied)

[CopperKnob]

8 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I have some figures, ha
From a YouGov survey, in the US, 999 people in the survey - 460 men, 539 women (yougov is notorious for binarising results)

32% of men enjoyed either role, dominant or submissive

18% of men only enjoyed being dominant

10% of men only enjoyed being submissive

32% Neither. 8% Don't know. 2% prefer not to say

Compare that to the women’s numbers:

24% of women enjoyed either role, dominant or submissive

4% of women only enjoyed being dominant

21% of women only enjoyed being submissive

Neither 35%. Don't know 10%. Prefer not to say 8%.

In other words: women are far more likely to (exclusively) enjoy a submissive role.

(this also answer the questions on 'the ratio'.  If this reflected through society than a man who was submissive and only submissive and wanted a Dominant who was only Dominant then there are 2.5 men to every 1 woman.  Not the 1000 often implied)

I knew you'd know 😉
Interesting and I guess kind of disappointing if we're coming at this from a gender norms perspective.
It'll be interesting I think to do a comparison in 10, 20, 30 years time, whether the changes to our understanding of gender will impact those stats

[Sa****]

Thanks for weighing in all. Reactions —

- “they think identifying as dons will get them laid more than on tinder” …. 😂😂😂😂
- more about identity V’s gender … great point. Yes I agree the expectations of those of us who actually remember some of the 70’s and therefore the interesting stats above (thanks eye black, well analyzed) are slipping away somewhat and indeed it ought to be:hopefully will be different.