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Confused gender identity


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Posted (edited)

I am a 23 year old virgin male. I was never attracted to any kind of sex in my life but suddenly from last 2,3 years I started to realise that being sub actually turns me on, love to play with my nipples, crossdressing and imagining myself as A female but still not sure about my sexuality. Any suggestions from experienced people might help.

Edited by Aleee
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Stick to information here, chatting to people , and looking at articles in the forum.there is no need to jump onto peoples private email addresses.


so, you're not really interested in any sex?

there's a good chance you may be asexual


you've got time, don't jump into things, I'm 52 and have only just realised, or should that be accepted? or understood?, that I am trans.  At your age I was exactly the same as you, the good thing is there are people on here that can help, just make sure you read the postings on how to spot the spammers


Hi @Aleee and welcome. Take your time to explore the site and learn as much as you can about different BDSM practices. Get to know people but be cautious about jumping into play too quickly. Slow and steady wins the race. 

You might find someone who clicks with you and can help you explore what turns you on. Or it might be worth arranging a session with a Pro Domme to try things out. 


Be true to your self. Sexuality is more complex than just Male female l g b t. It's about what makes you happy. There is nothing more intricate than your mind. Perhaps most about sexual fulfillment is in the brain and not the genatils 


Hey there! I'm pretty new here myself and to all of this *gestures vaguely at BDSM* BUT I do have some experience being queer and having deep conversations with many many queer friends. In my experience, the simplest answer is that there is no simple answer. And that's okay. Life is a long road of twists and turns of self discovery and I don't know if that ever really stops, but I'm not sure it needs to. Everyone's experiences with sex, sexuality, and gender will be as different as they are the same. If you feel drawn to something, feel good picturing yourself a different way from how you've perceived yourself so far, don't be afraid to explore and experiment with that! But equally don't feel like choosing to explore it means you have to be committed to anything.


What should be noted is that whatever you start to feel drawn toward with your gender identity, that doesn't have to dictate your sexuality! Male, female, in-between or outside of, you're still likely going to have a separate journey discovering who you're attracted to if at all! And there'll always be someone somewhere willing to listen and help out while you're on that journey.

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