sub drop advice

[TyTy-9757]

Okay,  I recently had to end things with a friend of mine who was also domming me for almost a year. On top of the depression that already comes with something like that, I’ve been in a severe sub drop for over a month. I can’t jerk off without crying, i can’t think about anything sexual or kinky without crying, i’ve never felt worse about my body, i’ve never felt so insecure and inadequate in my submission. I feel like i’ll never be a good sub, and that no one will care about me or want me the way that he did at first. I can’t look at my body without feeling ugly and like there’s something wrong with it because someone who used to worship my body stopped caring about me for someone else. I’m not sure if anybody else has experienced this, but i just really feel like a bad sub, and like i just wasn’t good enough and I’ll never be able to be submissive like I was with him. I don’t know what to do, and I’m completely alone in dealing with it.

[Mo****]

I have a slightly different story but same result. Partner broke up with me and for a while things were friendly, even talk of maybe reuniting in the future. Then they turned suddenly cold. Doubt we’ll even speak again.
But it’s left me feeling very unsexual. I want to. I look around and chat with people. But their sudden shift from loving to cold just turned off my libido.
They seem to be out there doing just fine. But I think those of us hurt by these endings often take a hit in the self esteem/sexual department.
Hopefully it’ll just take a little time for both of us to climb out of this funk. And maybe the next time they’ll think harder about how their actions affect those of us left behind. Even if, as in your case, you had to be the one to make the cut.

[Cheekysub247]

Sounds deeper than just sub drop, that might have triggered it on this occasion but sounds like you have a lot of undealt with feelings.
I get a massive drop after ive been naked with someone, real self hate that can go on months so now i dont go naked.... self hate is always still there but nothing to trigger an episode.
Work through your past feelings with the ex, it might help with this feeling x x

[lo****]

I have really, fully submit 2x. Both ended rather suddenly. Both said it was a them thing. Hell the first one I submit to still tries to get me back on occasion, but I can't . I can't trust again the way I did that he will be there. That he won't suddenly drop me again.
It's a slow process for me to even FIND someone I want to be intimate with, let alone submit to. Not sure I will ever be over the sudden drops. No matter how much I am told I did nothing wrong and it wasn't me, just bad timing for "us."

[MiniMiddle]

I'm new to this and learning, but this is a huge fear. That's why I default to dominate. Know that you are worth so much and you're beautiful.

[littlemiss37]

Lockeheart if u need to talk I'm only a pm away . I have not sub dropped . But have had alot going on and self sabotaged . I am confident now in mybody though but not confident about finding another Dom x

[Si****]

This is the danger of trust, right? If you give yourself to someone, they can do what they want with you, whether they should or shouldn't. You're not alone, love. You can recover. If it were me, I'd try to get back on my feet before finding another Dom, or finding that Dom and setting that boundary first. But I'm not you. You seem like you were a good sub, as I can't see such pain not coming from dedication, no that dedication not contributing to just how good a sub you are and were.

My private message is always open if you need to vent, talk, practice, or if you need some platonic Dom energy for a bit.