Lowvan Posted February 11, 2023 Posted February 11, 2023 32 minutes ago, kiseu said: Very sweet of you, and thank you.😘🤗💖 I hope good men don't take it as male bashing, trying to understand many reasons, and use this as a reminder not to become negative towards women. I am always reminding myself the craps men have to deal with, so I won't become a man hater. In no shape or form would I equate creepy dudes online to real life world harassment, but it seems one the best ways that we can stop men from being boundary crossing creeps, is for other men to tell them when they're crossing the line. Doesn't always work since cognitive dissonance kicks in faster than guzzling a bottle of hot sauce, but it at least makes them think, I hope!
se**** Posted February 11, 2023 Posted February 11, 2023 51 minutes ago, MasterDe said: That’s just rudeness it can be simple as sorry not interested they ask why. Two roads one can take the very blunt approach or they can be say nothing leaving that other man or woman to keep returning because the point wasn’t clear. It’s easy as be straight forward but at the same time if the being annoying or disrespectful they deserve a block and not waste anymore energy with them. There was a comment we should be honest, and not be hiding. From my naive experiences, the guys keep asking why when given a polite reason. I do believe some do want to know, but more of them use why as trying to convince the other to give them a chance. Sometimes, it's better not to know. For me, when a guy does not respond, I take it as not interested, and move one. Over a week ago, I sent a message. He never responded. Again, took as not interested, and moved on.
Lowvan Posted February 11, 2023 Posted February 11, 2023 Asking and getting feedback is helpful, but come on. If I send a message, and see it's read (if you have premium) and is not replied within a few days, I'm very very safely assuming it's a no and I'll move on. Sure, specific feedback is welcome "I prefer taller men" or "you're not my type" or "you're too old" or "I fucking hate latex ew" - whatever, but who needs an actual no? If they're not intersted in you, how do you remain interested in them?
ey**** Posted February 11, 2023 Posted February 11, 2023 58 minutes ago, MasterDe said: Communication in this world is what is healthy none communication with also ego always makes things worse. If one didn’t have ego explaining or receiving a message. More people will be able to recognize their wrongs as well. I agree what you saying and Copper it’s just it lacks this right here. "No" is a complete sentence It tells the person messaging everything they need to know. There is zero reason for any expansion to this. And if the person doesn't send a response because of a problem with their own communication; then, hey the person sending dodged a bullet - right? One important lesson in life is that we won't always get the closure we want - for many reasons. But for anyone to have to sit and send a message explaining WHY they are not interested, well, it's a demand for labour.
BruiseWayne Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 (edited) 11 hours ago, MasterDe said: That’s just rudeness it can be simple as sorry not interested they ask why. Two roads one can take the very blunt approach or they can be say nothing leaving that other man or woman to keep returning because the point wasn’t clear. It’s easy as be straight forward but at the same time if the being annoying or disrespectful they deserve a block and not waste anymore energy with them. Rudeness or not, that's how it's going to happen. Man or woman, lots of folks don't bother being cordial and nice to perfect strangers, and TBH I think a lot of people power trip off of being rude and getting put in a position to reject someone. So people might think they want to get reasons from people, but if you actually did you wouldn't like how it played out one bit because like a bunch of folks have already commented here, you're going to hear A LOT of things you don't want to. Edited February 12, 2023 by BruiseWayne
CopperKnob Posted February 12, 2023 Author Posted February 12, 2023 19 hours ago, MasterDe said: That’s just rudeness it can be simple as sorry not interested they ask why. Two roads one can take the very blunt approach or they can be say nothing leaving that other man or woman to keep returning because the point wasn’t clear. It’s easy as be straight forward but at the same time if the being annoying or disrespectful they deserve a block and not waste anymore energy with them. It's not rudeness, it's a self protective factor as outlined in the OP and it's only sometimes. Sometimes we do say no for example, someone in this thread messaged me asking if they could speak to me about something I explained it wasn't a topic I wanted to discuss as it didn't apply to me/my experience. They responded politely and the conversation ended. I knew that I could give them a no thanks response without any backlash from them based on how they had behaved in this thread. Meanwhile, there are some here that whilst I don't expect a message from them, it would be a outright block again based upon how they've handled this topic and the feeling that they'd blow up my inbox with some sort of tirade
Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 On 2/11/2023 at 1:56 AM, Lowvan said: Just this evening alone, in a timespan for 10 minutes, I saw a new profile for a woman. First comment within 1 minute? NICE CUMFACE XOX. Second comment: *something in German whilst she's not from Germany*. Third comment: hi baby xox u up for spankings? when the dude is literally on the other side of the planet. I joined yesterday, I haven't uploaded a pic (in part for this reason) and my profile said rather clearly that I'm in a D/s relationship and not looking. I still get well over 20 messages though from men that want to hook up with me. That's in no way interesting. I mean: is the fact that I'm 20 ,female, sub and have a hentai pic in my profile enough reason to want to fuck me? Are those really the only criteria it takes? To me that feels soooo random. These guys have no idea what I am like, what I look like and what I want. On topic: I completely agree with CopperKnob. Sometimes it's just easier to block a guy than saying no.
CopperKnob Posted February 12, 2023 Author Posted February 12, 2023 35 minutes ago, IAmCharly said: I joined yesterday, I haven't uploaded a pic (in part for this reason) and my profile said rather clearly that I'm in a D/s relationship and not looking. I still get well over 20 messages though from men that want to hook up with me. That's in no way interesting. I mean: is the fact that I'm 20 ,female, sub and have a hentai pic in my profile enough reason to want to fuck me? Are those really the only criteria it takes? To me that feels soooo random. These guys have no idea what I am like, what I look like and what I want. On topic: I completely agree with CopperKnob. Sometimes it's just easier to block a guy than saying no. It does get better after a couple of weeks as they move to the new newbies
Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 I've had my life destroyed by narcissistic women who couldn't handle a breakup. One of them was physically abusive. One of them sent family after me. The risks are there for both. Statistically men are more likely to be the victims of violent crime in society. Is that because we don't teach young boys to protect themselves the same way we teach young girls? Maybe it's because men are expected and more willing to take risks?
Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 Everyone should be careful of who they interact with.
se**** Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 5 minutes ago, Darksoul_85 said: Statistically men are more likely to be the victims of violent crime in society. Is that because we don't teach young boys to protect themselves the same way we teach young girls? Maybe it's because men are expected and more willing to take risks? Men are only "slightly" more in the figures. It's more "Take it like a man", and "You should know how". You are right, young boys should take protection classes. Also, they are not taught enough about emotions, and how to express them.
Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 I agree. There is a catch 22. The subject at hand has to do with avoiding interacting with a man's emotions because they are percieved as being dangerous. This leads to men not expressing their emotions as the vast majority of men have no intention or desire to make a woman feel unsafe.
Fa**** Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 3 minutes ago, Darksoul_85 said: I agree. There is a catch 22. The subject at hand has to do with avoiding interacting with a man's emotions because they are percieved as being dangerous. This leads to men not expressing their emotions as the vast majority of men have no intention or desire to make a woman feel unsafe. It isn’t about men (or women) expressing their emotions. It’s about the tirade of *** or nonsense that is often received when a person (generally a woman) responds to an initial message with “no thanks” or “not interested”. Genuine emotions, as a rule, don’t tend to be rude, offensive, aggressive or nasty OR try to *** someone to change their mind or tell them that they are wrong in not wanting to get to know you.
Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 I agree. Does cutting off the chance for positive interaction help though?
Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 I believe that nobody is obligated to interact with anyone. Ignoring strangers is our right. I guess I'm curious if you're avoiding rejecting a person altogether or rejecting a request or idea?
CopperKnob Posted February 12, 2023 Author Posted February 12, 2023 40 minutes ago, Darksoul_85 said: I've had my life destroyed by narcissistic women who couldn't handle a breakup. One of them was physically abusive. One of them sent family after me. The risks are there for both. Statistically men are more likely to be the victims of violent crime in society. Is that because we don't teach young boys to protect themselves the same way we teach young girls? Maybe it's because men are expected and more willing to take risks? OK let's make it a gendered post and add some relevant stats rather than including all violent crime... . 20% of women and 4% of men will experience a form of sexual assault during their lifetime Source - Home Office (UK) . In the year ending Mar 2022, 71% of women were victims of domestic ***. In the same year, 30% of males were victims of the domestic *** Source - ONS . This isn't a one off, Womens Aid report in the year ending March 2020, 92% of defendants are domestic *** were male and the majority of victims recorded as female = 77% (the sex of the victim was not recorded in 7% of prosecutions) . I'm not saying that risks are not present for all genders but overwhelmingly there is more risk for women (more than hurt feelings which is what we get when blocked/told no) than there is for men and, let's be honest, *** and *** are not entry level crimes, there's generally years of ***s towards numerous individuals before things escalate to that degree of crimunality.
Fa**** Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 For example recently in my inbox: This person messaged me a few days ago wanting to exchange fantasies. I told him I wasn’t interested (not least because he doesn’t even live on the same continent). His response “ok thanks for letting me know” He then hit “not interested” button and deleted our (non) chat. GREAT or so I thought. A couple of days later this happened: HIM: Hey Beautiful I love your fantasies Would you like to explore your desires while having sex with me I am open to everything and would also like to explore my fantasies with you. ME: You are high. I’ve told you once I’m not interested HIM: I am not high i need to know why HIM: You are having fantasies and i have too HIM: Or else why would you be here ME: No HIM: Get lost HIM: [Hey, this kink steel has let you know they’re not interested…] AGAIN!! Fabulous, he’s realised for himself and moved on. Then earlier today he sends: HIM: Hey I have been through your profile and you said the truth. Honestly i feel the same and i would like to know you more We could discuss about our sexual desires and fantasies and explore our special world Concerning distance i am travelling to UK twice a month so it shouldn’t be a problem Let me know what you think. and then blocked me again. Now, explain to me why I ought to interact with that??? I was polite initially but he kept going and going and going. This is the tip of the iceberg. I’ve been called all sorts from people I’ve politely declined. I owe NOBODY anything however I generally reply with no thanks and still get offensive messages back at some point for the most part or people not believing I’m not interested.
Fa**** Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 1 minute ago, CopperKnob said: OK let's make it a gendered post and add some relevant stats rather than including all violent crime... . 20% of women and 4% of men will experience a form of sexual assault during their lifetime Source - Home Office (UK) . In the year ending Mar 2022, 71% of women were victims of domestic ***. In the same year, 30% of males were victims of the domestic *** Source - ONS . This isn't a one off, Womens Aid report in the year ending March 2020, 92% of defendants are domestic *** were male and the majority of victims recorded as female = 77% (the sex of the victim was not recorded in 7% of prosecutions) . I'm not saying that risks are not present for all genders but overwhelmingly there is more risk for women (more than hurt feelings which is what we get when blocked/told no) than there is for men and, let's be honest, *** and *** are not entry level crimes, there's generally years of ***s towards numerous individuals before things escalate to that degree of crimunality. Thank you x
se**** Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 10 minutes ago, Darksoul_85 said: I believe that nobody is obligated to interact with anyone. Ignoring strangers is our right. I guess I'm curious if you're avoiding rejecting a person altogether or rejecting a request or idea? Please don't shoot me.🙈 I think you are seeing from your eyes, and not seeing the person you wrote to. Why would we care about potiential positive interactions or rejecting an idea if we were not physically attracted to you, too young, didn't see any compatiblity, or you wrote a no effort message to us. Justing using you as an example. I know for a fact... most times, if a guy does not respond... he does not have any type of attraction or feeling compability. I leave him alone!!
Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 2 minutes ago, kiseu said: Please don't shoot me.🙈 I think you are seeing from your eyes, and not seeing the person you wrote to. Why would we care about potiential positive interactions or rejecting an idea if we were not physically attracted to you, too young, didn't see any compatiblity, or you wrote a no effort message to us. Justing using you as an example. I know for a fact... most times, if a guy does not respond... he does not have any type of attraction or feeling compability. I leave him alone!! Thats what I just said. Ignoring strangers is our right.
Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 22 minutes ago, CopperKnob said: OK let's make it a gendered post and add some relevant stats rather than including all violent crime... . 20% of women and 4% of men will experience a form of sexual assault during their lifetime Source - Home Office (UK) . In the year ending Mar 2022, 71% of women were victims of domestic ***. In the same year, 30% of males were victims of the domestic *** Source - ONS . This isn't a one off, Womens Aid report in the year ending March 2020, 92% of defendants are domestic *** were male and the majority of victims recorded as female = 77% (the sex of the victim was not recorded in 7% of prosecutions) . I'm not saying that risks are not present for all genders but overwhelmingly there is more risk for women (more than hurt feelings which is what we get when blocked/told no) than there is for men and, let's be honest, *** and *** are not entry level crimes, there's generally years of ***s towards numerous individuals before things escalate to that degree of crimunality. If you want to make progress with an issue which involves everyone, you have to include everyone. You spoke about men expressing their emotions yet you want to silence them at the same time. If you want to gender this post thats your right and I respect that but you won't get anywhere with the issue. You'll just get a lot of rien***ment for how things already are.
CopperKnob Posted February 12, 2023 Author Posted February 12, 2023 You're throwing stones from a glass house. You brought gender into it with your statement (without citing a source) "statistically men are more likely to be the victims of violent crime in society" I'm playing you at your own game. I mean, we could also look at which gender are the main perpertrators of all crime if you like? The post wasn't about addressing the why, it was highlighting the reason that some people block rather than say no to combat all the posts complaining about being blocked. Fateful provided a very specific example as to what may happen when someone is told no, that's the tip of the iceberg if I'm honest.
se**** Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 10 minutes ago, Darksoul_85 said: If you want to make progress with an issue which involves everyone, you have to include everyone. You spoke about men expressing their emotions yet you want to silence them at the same time. If you want to gender this post thats your right and I respect that but you won't get anywhere with the issue. You'll just get a lot of rien***ment for how things already are. You mentioned "statistical". Victims are unisex, but I think there is a reason there's more women's shelters compared to men's. We are not men bashing! We only want men to understand the many reasons, and not set themselves to become bitter towards women. No offense, but alot of them set themselves.
Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 7 minutes ago, kiseu said: You mentioned "statistical". Victims are unisex, but I think there is a reason there's more women's shelters compared to men's. We are not men bashing! We only want men to understand the many reasons, and not set themselves to become bitter towards women. No offense, but alot of them set themselves. Maybe more men are driven into crime and *** because there aren't enough shelters?
se**** Posted February 12, 2023 Posted February 12, 2023 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Darksoul_85 said: Maybe more men are driven into crime and *** because there aren't enough shelters? Shelters as hiding from being killed, or physically thrown out. Most women will not leave their comfortable home for a cold bed if they did not *** their lives, or the man violently kicks them out of their house. In most cases, a woman has no physical power compared to a man. Have you actually been in a real physical fight with a man?. In most cases, a man beaten up by a women... he does not fight back. Alot of cases, the women does fight back, but the man having more physical power... he over powers her... beats her up, or literly carrying or dragging her out of the house. Edited February 12, 2023 by kiseu
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