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The Consequence Of Saying "No"


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Posted
2 minutes ago, FatefulDestiny said:

WTAF. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yeah, my mother was particularly furious with me, reached out to his parents, the whole nine yards 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Posted
34 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Yeah, my mother was particularly furious with me, reached out to his parents, the whole nine yards 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

That must have a sharp jab in the heart, and especially more hurting. Nothing hurts more than our mothers blaiming us, because they are our mothers. Sorry

Posted
29 minutes ago, kiseu said:

That must have a sharp jab in the heart, and especially more hurting. Nothing hurts more than our mothers blaiming us, because they are our mothers. Sorry

I think it speaks to the different generations and the shift in what one generation expected and others aren't willing to accept

Posted
2 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

BackDoorDestroyer? Kinda sounds like this may be a real account 😂

It probably is on one of this type of site...in fact wouldn't surprise me in the slightest to find BackDoorDestroyer44, 45, 46 etc either 🙄😂

Posted
1 minute ago, gemini_man said:

It probably is on one of this type of site...in fact wouldn't surprise me in the slightest to find BackDoorDestroyer44, 45, 46 etc either 🙄😂

We do love a bit of originality

Posted
30 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

We do love a bit of originality

Absolutely I mean pairing your star sign with your gender is just boring right? 🤣😂

Posted
32 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Absolutely I mean pairing your star sign with your gender is just boring right? 🤣😂

Well...I shall say, it hadn't even occurred to me 🤦‍♀️

Posted
4 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

If that's your perspective you're part of the problem
When people are sharing their experiences, respect that that is indeed their experience
Not one person here has hinted at 'all men' other than you. That's because we know it's not 'all men' we do know though that it's some men and we don't know which until they make comments like yours. Thank you

 

4 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

If that's your perspective you're part of the problem
When people are sharing their experiences, respect that that is indeed their experience
Not one person here has hinted at 'all men' other than you. That's because we know it's not 'all men' we do know though that it's some men and we don't know which until they make comments like yours. Thank you

So because I disagreed with you and say it would be nice to have an explanation as to why the sudden stop of communication has occurred after having a back and forth conversation, because of my statement according to you that now makes me a stalker, harrasser assaulter and a ***er...seems like you do like to demonise men and proved my point by doing just that. Yes not all men are good but that makes up a small percentage, majority of men are good and want to find that one special person. Women need to be more careful in the dating game never disputed that. However my argument is only about the initial text chat that gets cut off for no reason, and me wanting an explanation for this apparently makes me one of the "bad ones" in ur oversized egotistical opinion. Well unfortunately u are wrong you don't know me im just a guy who disagreed with you...get over it.

Posted
26 minutes ago, Tommo6989 said:

So because I disagreed with you and say it would be nice to have an explanation as to why the sudden stop of communication has occurred after having a back and forth conversation, because of my statement according to you that now makes me a stalker, harrasser assaulter and a ***er...seems like you do like to demonise men and proved my point by doing just that. Yes not all men are good but that makes up a small percentage, majority of men are good and want to find that one special person. Women need to be more careful in the dating game never disputed that. However my argument is only about the initial text chat that gets cut off for no reason, and me wanting an explanation for this apparently makes me one of the "bad ones" in ur oversized egotistical opinion. Well unfortunately u are wrong you don't know me im just a guy who disagreed with you...get over it.

But that's not what you said. You accused me of 'demonising all men' and pronounced anyone who stopped conversing without giving a reason as a 'coward'
In the early stages of a conversation where there's no connection/relationship you aren't owed an explanation as to why the other party stopped. That's exactly what the post was about.
You're projecting too much, reading and interpreting what you want the post/comments to say when actually they say something very different.

Posted
27 minutes ago, Tommo6989 said:

So because I disagreed with you and say it would be nice to have an explanation as to why the sudden stop of communication has occurred after having a back and forth conversation, because of my statement according to you that now makes me a stalker, harrasser assaulter and a ***er...seems like you do like to demonise men and proved my point by doing just that. Yes not all men are good but that makes up a small percentage, majority of men are good and want to find that one special person. Women need to be more careful in the dating game never disputed that. However my argument is only about the initial text chat that gets cut off for no reason, and me wanting an explanation for this apparently makes me one of the "bad ones" in ur oversized egotistical opinion. Well unfortunately u are wrong you don't know me im just a guy who disagreed with you...get over it.

My man, why do you have such a problem with someone calling out the bad behavior of other men if you don't engage in any of it yourself?

 

Sure it's annoying and maybe even a little frustrating when someone ghosts you in the middle of a convo, but do you REALLY need an explanation from someone you've only invested a couple lines of text into as to why they don't want to keep talking? And is it really THAT deep to the point of you calling them a coward over it? :P

 

You probably aren't any of those things you mentioned but any woman reading any of your comments is going to wonder god knows what else you'd do when you don't get your way if you're willing to blow shit as completely out proportion as you are right now over what Copper said and your own personal gripe here.

Posted
12 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

But that's not what you said. You accused me of 'demonising all men' and pronounced anyone who stopped conversing without giving a reason as a 'coward'
In the early stages of a conversation where there's no connection/relationship you aren't owed an explanation as to why the other party stopped. That's exactly what the post was about.
You're projecting too much, reading and interpreting what you want the post/comments to say when actually they say something very different.

Not projecting, speaking from personal experience. Im not talking about the couple of messages here and there or the questions that go unanswered, im talking about the back and forth that has been going for a couple of days that goes deeper than kinks talks about personal life "because they want to get to know you" so you divulge personal (real name occupation ect) info hoping to build trust and for them to reciprocate...but instead ghost you "radio silence" if you will for no apparent reason, there the situations that can be easily resolved by saying "your not my type" or" ur not wat im looking for right now". I have done that wen the shoe has been on the other foot, instead of running in the opposite direction with metaphoric fingers in ears, its simple manners just to let someone know. Now if a guy doesn't respect that reply or acts out after hearing it then you know there probably one of the "bad ones".

Posted
11 minutes ago, Tommo6989 said:

Not projecting, speaking from personal experience. Im not talking about the couple of messages here and there or the questions that go unanswered, im talking about the back and forth that has been going for a couple of days that goes deeper than kinks talks about personal life "because they want to get to know you" so you divulge personal (real name occupation ect) info hoping to build trust and for them to reciprocate...but instead ghost you "radio silence" if you will for no apparent reason, there the situations that can be easily resolved by saying "your not my type" or" ur not wat im looking for right now". I have done that wen the shoe has been on the other foot, instead of running in the opposite direction with metaphoric fingers in ears, its simple manners just to let someone know. Now if a guy doesn't respect that reply or acts out after hearing it then you know there probably one of the "bad ones".

Thing is though even after a handful of messages, even those that swap personal info, no-one "owes" anyone anything in an on-line environment - maybe there was something said in one of the messages that didn't sit right and hinted at a darker side the other person didn't want to delve into further, maybe their kids were screaming for their tea and then they forgot to reply, maybe a hundred and one other reasons.
.
Yes it can leave you scratching your head as to the why at times, but it really isn't rude, or egotistical or anything else at all.
.
There are people on here I converse with on and off, who everything suddenly goes quiet and then picks up at a later date - and sometimes that's because there's nothing more to be said at that point, or because that particular conversation has come to a natural end, or again any number of other reasons.
.
It's not always necessary to know why, sometimes it just is.

Posted
12 minutes ago, Tommo6989 said:

Not projecting, speaking from personal experience. Im not talking about the couple of messages here and there or the questions that go unanswered, im talking about the back and forth that has been going for a couple of days that goes deeper than kinks talks about personal life "because they want to get to know you" so you divulge personal (real name occupation ect) info hoping to build trust and for them to reciprocate...but instead ghost you "radio silence" if you will for no apparent reason, there the situations that can be easily resolved by saying "your not my type" or" ur not wat im looking for right now". I have done that wen the shoe has been on the other foot, instead of running in the opposite direction with metaphoric fingers in ears, its simple manners just to let someone know. Now if a guy doesn't respect that reply or acts out after hearing it then you know there probably one of the "bad ones".

There's always a reason why someone blocks or ghosts another person. Some of them are mentioned in the OP
I'm guessing there's also a reason why you're only responding to a women calling out your behaviour and not the man doing the same

Posted (edited)
28 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

There's always a reason why someone blocks or ghosts another person. Some of them are mentioned in the OP
I'm guessing there's also a reason why you're only responding to a women calling out your behaviour and not the man doing the same

Because I'm talking to you not a man, plus the guys comments are irrelevant he clearly hasn't read the whole convo just one comment and decided to through his 2 pence in. Believe it or not im addressing you because wat u reply I actually want to read not some random persons msg. 

Edited by Deleted Member
Wanted to
Posted
6 minutes ago, Tommo6989 said:

Because u happen to be a women making these comments, I havnt seen a man making similar posts, he wud get the same response from me I dont discriminate.

I managed to see @BruiseWayne's comment to you and I wasn't even tagged in it 🙄

But hey ho let's try again. Man here, you were out of order, hello 👋

Posted
25 minutes ago, Tommo6989 said:

Because I'm talking to you not a man, plus the guys comments are irrelevant he clearly hasn't read the whole convo just one comment and decided to through his 2 pence in. Believe it or not im addressing you because wat u reply I actually want to read not some random persons msg. 

Can assure you I've been reading the thread from the start, in fact was one of the first to respond to it, so am fully up to speed with what's been said and hasn't - so now I've provided my qualifications....
.
.....do you not think if you actually read and learned from the experiences of other men, and men that "get it", those that have found what they are looking for from sites like this that perhaps those experiences would be very relevant and something to take note of?
.
Or would you just prefer to dismiss them as irrelevant rather than trying to get a perspective from your side of the fence?
.
As I said previously yes it can be a head scratcher when things go quiet when *you* thought they were going well, but the key there is *you* - whilst you might have thought they were going well, how do *you* know the person you were corresponding with felt the same?
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Yes it would be lovely to get an explanation as to why messages stopped, or didn't even start in the first place, but expecting it is a fools errand at best, and quite arrogant and beyond at worst.
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Quite simply women on sites like this tread a tightrope with most new contacts they converse with, as they never know when or if the other person will turn abusive or rude, and it's happened enough that many of them will simply cut conversation rather than risk it.
.
Is it right that they do? No, it's not, but not because of rudeness on their part, but because of the idiots that have seen fit to be rude and abusive to them because they've carried on conversations, or sent a polite rejection, and those that continue to do so.
.
It would be a wonderful utopia if men could send messages and get polite no thank you messages back *and* accept them - but sadly not all men can do that (and it's a larger percentage than you might think) and so women protect themselves from that possibility by not responding unless they want to and feel safe to do so.

Posted
17 minutes ago, Tommo6989 said:

he clearly hasn't read the whole convo just one comment and decided to through his 2 pence in.

Oh I'm sorry, was there some subtle nuance I missed in the two comments you spent complaining about Copper 'demonizing' men and you getting your feels all twerked up over getting ghosted on?

 

Because I kinda feel like I summed it up pretty nicely. :P


 

Posted

I wouldn't even say if it's the demonising of men

let's be simple - if women were honest then a lot of men would have hurt feelings and it would really hurt a lot of self esteem.    Like imagine a guy who sends out 10-20 messages over a week (which is not massively unreasonable) and all HAVE to reply.  And so he then gets a bunch of messages back, "you're boring", "you're unattractive", "you're too old", "you're too young" - every time he logs on there's a new message which hits in the esteem

At least someone who sends out 20 messages and gets no reply only gets disappointed. 

Posted
2 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

 

At least someone who sends out 20 messages and gets no reply only gets disappointed. 

I agree. Rather get no reply, than "Hey, you're too old for me" or "Sorry, but I am looking for a hotter woman you, or "You are so boring, I want fall asleep".

Posted
16 hours ago, Lowvan said:

Absolutely! Ask any man about sites like this and they'll tell you it's a sausagefest. And it is for the reason you mention. Women join and get literally bombarded from all sides. A woman who joined yesterday and thankfully got talking with, got 1000 profile views and 800 (!) messages within 24 hours. Eight-fucking-hundred.

As a hopefully good and polite man, I understand you and I encourage you to protect yourself, even if that means any of my messages to any woman get lost in the pile of the bombardment of messages. Men need to be better, both real life and online.

Very sweet of you, and thank you.😘🤗💖 I hope  good men don't take it as male bashing,  trying to understand many reasons, and use this as a reminder not to become negative towards women.  I am always reminding myself the craps men have to deal with, so I won't become a man hater.

Posted
26 minutes ago, kiseu said:

I agree. Rather get no reply, than "Hey, you're too old for me" or "Sorry, but I am looking for a hotter woman you, or "You are so boring, I want fall asleep".

That’s just rudeness it can be simple as sorry not interested they ask why. Two roads one can take the very blunt approach or they can be say nothing leaving that other man or woman to keep returning because the point wasn’t clear. It’s easy as be straight forward but at the same time if the being annoying or disrespectful they deserve a block and not waste anymore energy with them.

Posted
3 minutes ago, MasterDe said:

That’s just rudeness it can be simple as sorry not interested they ask why. Two roads one can take the very blunt approach or they can be say nothing leaving that other man or woman to keep returning because the point wasn’t clear. It’s easy as be straight forward but at the same time if the being annoying or disrespectful they deserve a block and not waste anymore energy with them.

the kinda problem is that men will say they want a reason

but they also want that reason to be packaged up and presented nicely

which means, in some cases, they want women to give them a pretty lie

that they don't even want a rejection without it being laboured in such a way they like how they're told

that's not healthy

Posted
7 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

If that's your perspective you're part of the problem
When people are sharing their experiences, respect that that is indeed their experience
Not one person here has hinted at 'all men' other than you. That's because we know it's not 'all men' we do know though that it's some men and we don't know which until they make comments like yours. Thank you

And once again they just blatantly flaunt themselves 🤦🏼‍♀️

Posted
6 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Yeah, my mother was particularly furious with me, reached out to his parents, the whole nine yards 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I have no words

Posted
12 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

the kinda problem is that men will say they want a reason

but they also want that reason to be packaged up and presented nicely

which means, in some cases, they want women to give them a pretty lie

that they don't even want a rejection without it being laboured in such a way they like how they're told

that's not healthy

Communication in this world is what is healthy none communication with also ego always makes things worse. If one didn’t have ego explaining or receiving a message. More people will be able to recognize their wrongs as well. I agree what you saying and Copper it’s just it lacks this right here. Now again not saying message back some idiot that’s saying “ hey let me see your nude “ “ can you take my cock “ “ oh I’ll like to see you do this or that to me “ and the list goes on. I see that from subs I had from guys messaging them very disrespectfully and rude. With no real gentleman value for woman/man even if the woman/man is a slave they have a soul, heart, feelings, and most want to be treat more than just a sex object. Respect in conversation is another key.

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