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When things end

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Managing loss


So Iv never written a post on here before but I’m at a point in my journey that I guess many have faced before and many will face again. 

I spent the last year owned by an amazing Dom we had so many ups and downs but our connection never broke. He was my first Dom he taught me , shaped me and moulded me in the sub I now am. 

Iv never connected to anyone like I had with him never allowed anyone to truly see me he gave me the safety to do that. I never thought it would end ...... foolish maybe ...... because now it has .. the devastation I feel ... the deep deep emptiness, hopelessness, sorrow is overwhelming. My emotions are all over the place once minute I’m angry , next sad  then accepting , then sad it comes over me in a total wash of heartache.... I miss him terribly , I miss his friendship , his influence, the comfort and safety being his afforded me.

I have a couple of friends helping me but I just can’t fill the void .... will it ever end ... what have people done to cope with a break up now have they gotten through these very dark times .


as someone who is currently going through a break up.   It's hard. It's very hard.

One of the biggest misses of course is the chemistry.

There's cliche's about time being healers.  But, some things to ultimately remember is that it ended for a reason - and if there's anything you feel you could have done better you can look for improvements for future relationships and anything that, actually, you weren't happy with - you can look at how to address or avoid in the future.

Remembering of course while you wouldn't want (and probably shouldn't) to  jump into play/relationship with someone else straight away - that the experience has given you a solid base for the future - as well as a whole heap of (hopefully) good memories.


Dear 87

It will end. You will not always feel like this. Time will help and some further introspection will also be useful.

i think having good people around you who you can talk to about it is a key ingredient to moving forward. Nothing helps to heal you faster than the love of your friends.

Sometimes it is tempting to jump into another dynamic, any dynamic, really quickly in order to fill the void but I would caution against this course of action. Remember your submission is a beautiful precious gift.

Talking to other people in the life also helps they understand the turmoil you are going through better than vanilla friends in my opinion.

Stay strong and wade through this horrible time, better ones are to follow.




Sometimes the connections and chemistry formed during D/s relationships can be stronger than those of a vanilla relationship and because of this the break up can be so much harder to bear. Just remember that in time you will find it easier and hopefully will have learned some useful tips to take you forward.

It is good at these times to have a strong friends circle around to lean on and draw strength from especially if they understand the type of dynamic you were in


Sorry about your relationship ending. No words from us will help you more than you being strong and remind the moment your Dom taught you to face adversity in bad time like this. We all dread this happening even Doms. 

As MissT said our connections are stronger than vanilla ones because of the intensity. 

Hopefullg you will find a new Dom and continue your path 


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