When Easy Is Difficult

[AKA_Copper]

It's uncomplicated, when you get me like this. When you remind me how to let everything else just float away.
Everything but you and me.
Everything other than what a good girl I am for you.

Nothing else matters. I know exactly who I am and everything I want.

I want to be your good girl. It feels good. It feels so easy. 

Sometimes though, the thought of it being easy makes me uncomfortable. Easy means there's nowhere to hide, no way to deny who I am and what I want. Being easy means admitting what I want and nothing's harder than saying that out loud, without a rationale, sarcasm or a bargain to cover it up with.

Easy is difficult.

The worry about what people think. About what I ought to think of myself.
Embarrasment.
Shame.
Wrongfulness

It would be easier, it weren't so, easy.

And so, I spend so much time trying to be difficult, fighting off so many people who think I'm easy when I'm not. Because whilst it's easy, I'm not.

So don't think of me as easy. I'm not until I want to be. And even then, it'll be a struggle. It's difficult to let go. Difficult to silence all the voices in my head.

How can I be good when what I want is bad?

Because if you saw me, if you really saw me, if you really knew all the things I think about, all the things I really want...

Well, how could you possibly think I'm good?

So remind me that it's okay.
Remind me that what I want is delightful and delicious.
Remind me how good it feels
Drive me out of my mind with neediness and longing.
Remind me I can give in to that feeling I crave

That's when it becomes easier.

[littlemiss37]

Wow this so hit me thanks x

[ge****]

Beautiful, simply beautiful

[PurpleSarah]

Very well said x

[Ga****]

Wow. Brilliantly said..

[Sw****]

Wow I can’t tell you how much this resounds with me right now x

[Se****]

Another fabulous writing. Thank you xx

[Deleted Member]

How amazing, touching, articulate and true. I so adore this copperknob. Wonderfully written….  wow

[AKA_Copper]

Clearly there's a lot of emotional Sadists amongst us 🤣
This was about all the noise in my head
Turmoil is not beautiful
Unless...Sadists

[Davemp75]

I had sent you a message on the app and it kept freezing up on me. I wanted to tell you more if you were interested in listening? I was trying to make the first move so you wouldn't have to.

[ge****]

53 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Clearly there's a lot of emotional Sadists amongst us 🤣
This was about all the noise in my head
Turmoil is not beautiful
Unless...Sadists

Turmoil you say? Or perhaps it's just dogged guardedness until the right one comes along....and that in itself has a beauty of it's very own...
.
....least that's what I keep telling myself...emotional sadist that I am 🤣😂

[AKA_Copper]

2 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Turmoil you say? Or perhaps it's just dogged guardedness until the right one comes along....and that in itself has a beauty of it's very own...
.
....least that's what I keep telling myself...emotional sadist that I am 🤣😂

Turmoil
Because sometimes, my head overthinks things

[ge****]

6 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Turmoil
Because sometimes, my head overthinks things

Oh just give into your inner Domme and put me over your knee - that'll sort that out 😂🤣
.
Seriously though, yeah I know, classic overthinker and prevaricator here so know exactly what you mean

[AKA_Copper]

1 minute ago, gemini_man said:

Oh just give into your inner Domme and put me over your knee - that'll sort that out 😂🤣
.
Seriously though, yeah I know, classic overthinker and prevaricator here so know exactly what you mean

Only if there's icecream in it!

(And I was doing so well keeping sugary treats out of things this year!)

[ge****]

1 minute ago, CopperKnob said:

Only if there's icecream in it!

(And I was doing so well keeping sugary treats out of things this year!)

Damn right there's ice cream in it if an OTK is on offer!! 😁

[AKA_Copper]

10 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Damn right there's ice cream in it if an OTK is on offer!! 😁

For me though, not you 🤣
If I'm the Domme, it's my way or the highway!! 🤷‍♀️

[ge****]

4 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

For me though, not you 🤣
If I'm the Domme, it's my way or the highway!! 🤷‍♀️

And you call me a sadist!! 🤣😂

[AKA_Copper]

12 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

And you call me a sadist!! 🤣😂

You called yourself one 👆😉

[ge****]

9 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

You called yourself one 👆😉

That was different though that was emotional sadism - though it it's OTK you want I can summon a sadistic side I suppose 😉

[AKA_Copper]

26 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

That was different though that was emotional sadism - though it it's OTK you want I can summon a sadistic side I suppose 😉

Ah, but are you a 'real' Sadist?

[ge****]

8 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Ah, but are you a 'real' Sadist?

No, I'm a 'true' and 'genuine' one 😂🤣

[AKA_Copper]

15 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

No, I'm a 'true' and 'genuine' one 😂🤣

Of course, of course. I shan't tell of you don't 🤐

[ca****]

...........my easy and difficult goes something like this..........  (i think!!)

Fairly easy to get the wrapping off (or to start unwrapping) - only to reveal the difficult interior!

[Se****]

52 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

No, I'm a 'true' and 'genuine' one 😂🤣

Don’t give away the secrets of how the real sadists work. Everyone will try to be one 😆

[AKA_Copper]

2 hours ago, callipygian said:

...........my easy and difficult goes something like this..........  (i think!!)

Fairly easy to get the wrapping off (or to start unwrapping) - only to reveal the difficult interior!

Did someone get you lego?