Safe…?

[Se****]

I hate this, 

I hate that I don’t feel safe in my own home. 

You took that from me,

and you take it from me on an almost daily basis. 

I should be safe here. 

I should be safe in my own body 

I should be safe in my own head. 

But I’m not. 

My inability to fulfil what you apparently “need” makes me a failure. 

But more worryingly it makes me unsafe with you

And it makes you a threat to me. 

There’s so much talk about vetting, but how do you do that when the person is someone you know who changed over many years. 

I want to feel safe. 

I want to feel secure. 

I want to feel loved. 

But, I don’t. 

It’s my fault, I know and my problem to fix. 

Love

X

[CopperKnob]

💜

[MrWillo]

🫂

[Deleted Member]

I know how you feel

[Si****]

Sorry you feel that way and I pray it gets better for you.

[fe****]

What is the actual story behind this?

[Deleted Member]

Borderline?

[ma****]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I know exactly what you mean on this one 😭💔🫂

[ma****]

And I couldn't have put it better 😔

[Tr****]

Unless you persistently and intentionally did stuff to make the other person angry, refused to change anything that was a negative trait to be more positive for the benefit of the relationship, I fail to see how it's your fault.

This post sounds more like a desperate (not insulting you) partner who's the victim of a narcissist and they are apologizing for being ***d.

I would love to discuss this with you but the words you posted has me concerned that you may not be willing to talk.

Are you okay? He/she doesn't beat you, do they?
I hope you're safe and well.

[Tr****]

P.S. I'm an empath, that makes me really good at helping people.

[ma****]

4 minutes ago, Trucker69 said:

P.S. I'm an empath, that makes me really good at helping people.

So am I, I'm just really bad at sorting out who's the emotions are, and that's what gets me into so much trouble because a certain type of person can always how much you want to help 😔💔

[CopperKnob]

2 hours ago, domjake said:

What is the actual story behind this?

That's a rather intrusive question on a public forum. I'm of the view that this is about feelings but, I'm sure you can probavly hoin the dots if you have another read

[Deleted Member]

@FatefulDestiny its not your fault, its not your responsibility to fulfill your partners need, if it is a new dynamic/aspect in your relationship that wasnt agreed to. If this is something entirely new sprung on you, like your partner is into kink and you arent, then your partner has changed the entire basis of the relationship.

It is your partners expectations that are causing the stress. If your partner isnt willing to temper the expectation, then you need to decide on options that do make you feel safe. If they havent realized your emotional state has changed because you dont feel safe in your home - this may not be the right person for you.

[ar****]

FatefulDestiny truly has a way with words. Her stories (for me) manage to convey the emotional chaos and struggle of being in conflict. Feeling unsafe due to essentially dealing with a toxic person, yet also seeing that as a reason for selfdoubt, feeling insufficient and a failure.
.
Really nice how the fault in the end is turned into a different context, where it's no longer her failing the other person, but her failing herself. 👍