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Getting Experience at "young" age?


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First of all, I have to apologise for my English. I'm from Germany so English is not my native language.

Even tho I would myself consider old (I'm 19 I missclicked on the age tab) , people here often refer to me as young or worse "too young".

I honestly understand that dommes want older, more experienced people because it's probably easier to get a long with. I'm just finding out about myself right now (I know I'm submissive and I have some fantasy's but I think it's a huge different in the real world). I'm interested in BDSM and what it has to offer. I just don't know if I'm too young to start with it? Like too young to have a chance for a session f.e

So my question is: Would you say I have a chance to find some experience here? Did you have experience at my age? Where else do I find people like on here?

BTW I love this Forum. Its interesting reading trough blogposts of like-minded people and its helping me understand the BDSM world a ton.
I think you'll have a better chance finding experience with an 18-35's group if there's one local to you.
You’re never too young to start if you say you know your wants and needs are as a sub just like anyone else.
Id start by researching. And then research more. If it’s truly what you want and you persevere you’ll find it. It takes time
Posted (edited)

Germany here. Go to events and munches (regular monthly meetings), and meet people. June has a huge event in NRW "Flowers and Bees" ... over 1000 people.


Edited by Deleted Member
I knew I was kinky when I was younger than you so I know a little of the thought train. Realistically I doubt that there is a too young to think about kinky things and do research but I personally wouldn’t be telling someone under 18 too find someone they trust to do anything with. Just make sure that you research all things that aren’t a hard limit for you and see if you can talk to people about their experiences until you find someone who you can trust to try things out with in a safe space.
I’ve been here since I was 18 ma dude. Don’t worry you’ll get super plenty!
It is only natural you find your kinks when you’re young, I would only say that you be careful with people. Some of them can try to take advantage from you being this young.
However, that’s not to scare you away from exploring, end of the day those freaks are everywhere, not just sites like this.
And, along the way be mindful of being honest with your limits and preferences.
I’ve always been this way, I started with playing at 17/18 & I started going to Fet Clubs at 20.
Stick with it but also be patient. Don't expect to find what you’re looking for as quickly as you would a vanilla relationship or random sex.
Also put yourself out on the scene a bit so you’re on here, any munches or clubs etc
Are you too young…No not at all. It doesn’t matter what age we are, we never stop learning.
Also trust your instincts & don’t let excitement override that, watch out for anyone trying to use or bully you.

if you completely remove kink from the equation then there are still plenty of people you'd be deemed too young for.  A lot of people like folk around their own age.

Like others; I was going to fetish clubs initially when I was 19.  Just turning up boosts your experience. 


As other said you are not too young. 
Not sure who told you that but prob not a Domme. Maybe some findomme or professional who don’t want to waste their time. 
As a sub you should be able to find someone interested into teaching you and grow in the community. 
As mentioned below, just join munches and events and find out more about what you are looking for and other looking for too. 
fetlife have more groups to join and talk about it. 

Keep in mind that it is extremely hard to find a D as a male sub in general.

I think I actually had the most interest shown in me precisely when I was 18 and starting out. Some D’s consider beginners/very young people attractive.

I’m almost 26 now and it’s considerably harder for me to find a D/playpartner. I also get that I am ‚too young’ for some (even when they’re only around 30). And on the other hand I am too young for the D’s that like young men now.

Be respectful, learn to articulate what you want/how you view D/s relationships and remember that it’s a two way street, so what can you offer a D that she ACTUALLY likes.

If you have reasonable confidence go to a munch. If you are a little less confident go to a rope workshop and learn rope skills - it will give you anything to do.


If you don't pick up partners easily go online and learn some pickup - it isn't necessarily sleazy if you are selective . Mostly it's about appreciating women's actual  needs and projecting real yourself in a way that feels safe but it's also interesting. 


The other half of it is learning to actual BE the person you could be. And building a life outside of kink you actually feel enthusiastic about. David Goggins perhaps 

Kessia Noble is one coach but there are millions of them. 

  • 2 weeks later...

I myself am a young Dom, 18. In some spaces people might indeed think I'm too young, especially to be a Dom, but I'm just here to get to know the community and myself better and learn how to become the type of Dom that I'd like to be, whatever that will become.

It can definitely be difficult to find playmates when you're young, people might take youth as a sign of potential danger, due to the chance of carelessness. It's not impossible though, in my experience some of the people that approach newbies are people who can't get together with someone who is experienced due to a bad rep and such, so vetting them is important. I'd suggest attending real-life events, which you can find through sites similar to this as well, I believe that would make creating connections easier, especially if you want them to last. Clear communication will also help finding people with whom you will suit each others' desires.

Best of luck!

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