Trying to learn about all this

[Deleted Member]

As a beginner what is the correct approach to take?? Should I be flirty? Try to be sexy. More conversation and exploration into our lifestyles??? How would you like a beginner to learn how to “play”

Any help is appreciated

[Deleted Member]

💕I always suggest being yourself. Do what comes instinctual for you.

All the above in which you mentioned are all great ways to interact. However, I find that when I am just myself, the right counterpart usually ends up adoring me for me...

...and those are the ones you want to play and grow with.

Hope this helps! 😘

[Goddess_Fifi]

The best approach in my opinion is to be polite first and foremost, secondly be yourself. I prefer to get familiar with how a person is outside of this lifestyle first, we are more than just our kinks and fetishes, once there is mutual comfortability then play begins to naturally to develop.

[na****]

Be honest

[Deleted Member]

Not tender style of course 😀

[Ec****]

Be authentic, don't lie, don't pretend and above all do not gaslight people.... Don't say one thing and your actions be other. Honesty is the best policy!

[Deleted Member]

Honestly, just shoot you shot with whoever and be a of all of them you gotvuu

[Ha****]

Just be yourself. You'll find the right connection that way.

[Th****]

Be polite and respectful interactions should be as if you were in any public, vanilla social setting. Honesty and authenticity are very appealing. Being new or inexperienced is fine but please do some actual self education, beyond *fiction* such as porn, movies and smutty books.

 

There was another thread posted recently discussing various resources, I was just about to add a few suggestions there, you should check it out too. 

 

 

[AZ****]

I personally like when someone starts a conversation with me as a person. I don’t respond or respond aggressively if they automatically try to be overly sexual or try to start acting like my Dom without an agreement.

[ki****]

This will be a bit hypocritical of me. But I think fill your profile out thoroughly. Indicate what you’re looking for and what you hope to find. Tell a little bit about yourself show a little bit of your personality. Then, when you want to approach, someone approach them in a way that shows you have actually looked at their profile and taking a moment to think about who they are and what they’re looking for. If you open a profile and they have indicated that they are looking for not you, maybe don’t waste your time. If you open a profile and you can see that somebody is very end, dragons or yarn, art or music, then start a conversation on those topics. I always respect seeing that someone has taken a moment to get to know who I could be. And a personalized message makes me feel like it’s not a shotgun approach of cut, and paste the same thing to 100 women. I am much more likely to reply if I feel like it’s a personal connection.

[Lu****]

I would recommend to try and fill in your profile as much as possible. Fill in the D/S test and such. (Half) empty profiles tent to get skipped ..
Also nice to think about the questions asked, see what triggers you

[Au****]

In my opinion “be yourself” it’s more a mom and dad advice and mean everything and nothing at the same time..
It’s definitely not the advice that I’d give you.
To me there is not a right or wrong way to do it.
I personally have a intro that describe a bit myself, how I am, what I look for with a touch of sensibility and irony, I don’t mention kinky stuff right away, and I kind of briefly underline my qualities..
Not too long, not too short..
Sometimes work, sometimes doesn’t..
Profile matter too, having nice bio and pics it’s a good start already..
Be kind and polite always..

My best advice, is to not have any expectation, be ready for frustration and ghosting, be patience and consistent, do not give up, some results may arrive..

Keep improving your intros varying and changing them a bit from person to person, keep your profile updated and continuosly improve yourself in and out this platform..
Check if your surrounding have a wide choice of people otherwise it’ll be tough to meet someone in person..
Best of luck brother

[Deleted Member]

Read the profile and get an idea of who you are trying to talk to. Everyone is a little different. There’s no one size fits all approach.

[ph****]

Let's just start by talking about YOU. What do you like for beverages?

[he****]

do your best and don't get discouraged. know that you can do everything right and still fail. the ratio is pretty fucked here though, honestly you're probably better off going outside and yelling "bang me" like the ***s do :P

[CagedClitLvr]

Honesty and desire to learn.preconcieved titles or expectations are best replaced with questions and answers rules and limits

[Pu****]

Get out to munches and ask lots of questions. Observe others scenes at play parties to learn different dynamics, techniques, etc.
Find a mentor

[Lu****]

Hear hear Pullet 23! I couldn't agree more
💋

[IA****]

Confident. In BDSM, nervousness speaks volumes. In kink communities it speaks libraries. If you can’t be confident and embody your kinks, find a partner or a teacher within your field who can show you how to do your thing safely and confidently. You’re on the right track!