Deleted Member Posted July 24, 2019 Posted July 24, 2019 A question regarding online dates. Would you be fine just with virtual sex, or would you want a real life meeting too? I'm asking because I have a problem. My real body has a poor physical condition and non-functional sex organ, due to health disorders. I'd just like to find out if there's a chance for me. (This is not to find partners, or fishing for pity, it's just a curious research)
ey**** Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 my personal situation is that online play tends not to interest me unless it's subsidy to a real-life relationship (consider I was in a relationship with someone who lived close enough to meet up with, but not close enough to meet up with regularly) However, I know there are plenty of people of any gender or persuasion who are happy for online-only. But, I guess also - does this prospective meeting have to involve sex?
Wo**** Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 On 7/24/2019 at 4:22 PM, SidoraxVonCreep said: A question regarding online dates. Would you be fine just with virtual sex, or would you want a real life meeting too? I'm asking because I have a problem. My real body has a poor physical condition and non-functional sex organ, due to health disorders. I'd just like to find out if there's a chance for me. (This is not to find partners, or fishing for pity, it's just a curious research) Personally I find virtual sex extremely hot. Yes, it's better with people I know (and generally have a real life relationship with) but it can be done and enjoyed. I think it helps if, like me, words affect you.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said: Personally I find virtual sex extremely hot. Yes, it's better with people I know (and generally have a real life relationship with) but it can be done and enjoyed. I think it helps if, like me, words affect you. Of course words affect me. Physical pleasure is almost impossible in my case, so I have nothing to use but my imagination.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said: my personal situation is that online play tends not to interest me unless it's subsidy to a real-life relationship (consider I was in a relationship with someone who lived close enough to meet up with, but not close enough to meet up with regularly) However, I know there are plenty of people of any gender or persuasion who are happy for online-only. But, I guess also - does this prospective meeting have to involve sex? I don't have problem with meeting in real life. It's just that I can't physically have sex, and I'm not very attractive for anyone to want to meet in person. I've met many people who seemed interested in me, but left as soon as they discovered I can't do much in real life. I'm basically a complex, colorful mind trapped in a crippled body.
Wo**** Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Then you need to meet more people who see past the body that your soul is wrapped in.
ey**** Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 I feel you have a lot of options as well as the concept of online play. So, I notice from your profile you have some kinda switch tendancies - as do I. For the majority of play I do either side of the slash, it wouldn't really matter too much if my bits worked or not. The last sub girl I played with is open to sex, but we haven't had sex (yet) the one before is bi and was massively off men when we played (though, I did fuck her with my foot), before that - the person said her one limit was PIV - so, again, wouldn't have mattered. From sub play... again, I rarely have sex with those I play with and so functioning parts is only really important if it's for a clip - for example edging or ruined orgasm - and even then on occasion if there's been an unexpected problem, that gets incorporated into the clip (look at this loser, surrounded by beautiful women and he can't get an erection!) So, in terms of play there's little you're excluded from in many cases. Even in terms of relationships - there's plenty of asexual ladies who'd prefer a more romantic relationship than sexual.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: So, in terms of play there's little you're excluded from in many cases. Even in terms of relationships - there's plenty of asexual ladies who'd prefer a more romantic relationship than sexual. I know there are lots of things that don't require a dick. I can still do things with my hands or mouth, or use toys. But very few people would want to do sexual things with me in real life. That's why I rely on online plays. My chat partners can at least imagine me to be more attractive. And about the relationships, an asexual woman would be good just for one of my many sides. But there's still the side that is an ultimate pervert.
Wo**** Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 49 minutes ago, SidoraxVonCreep said: But very few people would want to do sexual things with me in real life. That's why I rely on online plays. My chat partners can at least imagine me to be more attractive. You really are meeting the wrong type of people. Sure physical attractiveness matters but there are so many things that make a person attractive. Their honesty, their bumblebees (You've shown both) I'd rather be with someone genuine who gets in my head, who reaches me with words, that can make me squirm in delight with how they talk to me rather than someone who looks good but lacks heart or substance. It took me until this year to fully love what I look like, still ongoing, so I get where you're coming from but honestly it's never as bad as you think it is.
ey**** Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 I don't wish to make this about me, but, about me. I lost my virginity age 19 - but was still largely sexually inactive until I met my first wife, age 20 Generally I have esteem issues also and when that marriage ended in 2006 (I'm still 24 at this time) again I was largely sexually inactive for almost a year. And, I kinda just figured I wasn't conventionally attractive, people didn't like me, blah blah - and in the time between 2007 and meeting my now wife in 2009 I did have 3 relationships - some of which were complex and also a weird time where one of the women had been talking in the toilets with other girls who fancied me talking them off me until she could make her move(!) that was a headfuck in itself and now, I find, ultimately, actually - most women don't care all that much about looks. Everyone is attractive to someone. That a positive attitude and being good to be around is more valuable overall.
Wo**** Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 and now, I find, ultimately, actually - most women don't care all that much about looks. Everyone is attractive to someone. That a positive attitude and being good to be around is more valuable overall. Absolutely spot on. My ex was a really good looking guy but a totally crap husband (brilliant dad though) I'd take a good soul over good looks every time. You can be as stunning as you like but if that's all you've got you have nothing.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 Thanks for the replies. I appreciate it.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 Sidorax, before the unfortunate break of my last relationship, I had a Submissive I had never met in the Physical World. We had plans to meet in the PW, but up until the break we had only ever been together online. It is safe to say that they was the best relationship I have ever had, even if it did end on sad reasons. What I can also day with certainty is that I induced Sub Space in my Submissive using nothing but my words. I am a writer, as you might notice from how much I am saying, and through nothing but my written words I was able to create a physical effect on her body. She actually became unresponsive during our sessions because her body was orgasming too much for her thumbs to type on her phone. So yes, there is hope for you. Through whatever means necessary, an online relationship is not a lesser-release of sexual energy than physical contact. I will not deny that physical contact is sublime, but I consider online to be more than sufficient in bridging the gap. I hope that helps?
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 DanteReign Thanks for your reply. I can say I have some skills with words and imagination play, since it's my only way to satisfy my partner and myself. I had an online affair before, and she claimed to enjoy our virtual sex sessions. But she soon found someone else, who could be with her physically. That's why I was asking, since I was unsure if virtual plays are enough for people.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 27 minutes ago, SidoraxVonCreep said: DanteReign Thanks for your reply. I can say I have some skills with words and imagination play, since it's my only way to satisfy my partner and myself. I had an online affair before, and she claimed to enjoy our virtual sex sessions. But she soon found someone else, who could be with her physically. That's why I was asking, since I was unsure if virtual plays are enough for people. I will not deny that physical contact is unmatched, but the sexual pleasure is not all physical, so provided you have a loyal partner, virtual sex should be no different to physical.
BigPolly Posted July 27, 2019 Posted July 27, 2019 When I first met one of my best friends we started off having the most incredible phone sex & like DanteReigns lady, there were many times when I couldn’t reply. I knew he was unable to perform sexually himself but that didn’t matter. When we did meet & fell into bed he was so amazing with his hands etc, one of the best I’d had so nothing else mattered. He wasn’t great looking but I totally fell in love with him regardless, this wasn’t about ‘who’s the prettiest’. Our fling was brief as he was already with someone but he’s still one of my best friends & although we never had sex I still consider what we had as ‘sleeping together’ And like Eyemblacksheep I have been both a Domme & am now a sub having playmates that I haven’t had sex with. I honestly don’t think this is about ‘whether people like you in real life’ & more about ‘You’ & your confidence. Stop focusing on what you can’t do & start focusing on the things you can, the things you like & the things you are good at or the things you want to try. In BDSM it’s so hard to find someone who matches all of our needs & kinks so in that respect you’re really not on your own you just simply need to find those that match you.
ey**** Posted July 27, 2019 Posted July 27, 2019 2 hours ago, BigPolly said: . Stop focusing on what you can’t do & start focusing on the things you can, the things you like & the things you are good at or the things you want to try. I can't echo this enough. I made a massive mistake in focusing too much on stuff I couldn't do, that other guys could do that seemed more "popular" like the hard players, the sissys, those with high disposable incomes, the big anal sluts - and it kinda distracted away from what I was good at. I'm doing another filming day today which is, like, my 9th in the last 3 months (compared to, like, 3, in the 6 months before!) by focusing more on what I can do, than what I can't
Deleted Member Posted July 27, 2019 Author Posted July 27, 2019 Thanks for your replies. I guess you have a point, it's mostly about confidence. Which I unfortunately completely lack.
Wo**** Posted July 27, 2019 Posted July 27, 2019 4 minutes ago, SidoraxVonCreep said: Thanks for your replies. I guess you have a point, it's mostly about confidence. Which I unfortunately completely lack. No you dont, if you did we wouldnt be having this dialouge. Trust in yourself. You come across as a genuinely interesting, considerate, intelligent guy. You have a good, honest profile and you were thoughtful, open and engaging in PM.
Deleted Member Posted July 27, 2019 Author Posted July 27, 2019 10 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said: No you dont, if you did we wouldnt be having this dialouge. Trust in yourself. You come across as a genuinely interesting, considerate, intelligent guy. You have a good, honest profile and you were thoughtful, open and engaging in PM. Well, don't confuse my illusory confidence with real one. If it wasn't for the internet anonymity, I'd hardly ever talk to anyone.
Wo**** Posted July 27, 2019 Posted July 27, 2019 Doesnt matter. You are a real person. Im a real person. Did you know the brain cant tell whats real and whats not? You act confident, you become confident. Your comment... Try this.. My illusory confidence still stems from me. Because i can showcase my skill with words the internet is a perfect platform for me and allows me to reach so many people.
Deleted Member Posted July 27, 2019 Author Posted July 27, 2019 19 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said: Doesnt matter. You are a real person. Im a real person. Did you know the brain cant tell whats real and whats not? You act confident, you become confident. Your comment... Try this.. My illusory confidence still stems from me. Because i can showcase my skill with words the internet is a perfect platform for me and allows me to reach so many people. I appreciate your kind words. I still have great struggles with thinking positively. I didn't want to bring my heavily damaged mental health here, but at least I see that everything is connected.
ey**** Posted July 27, 2019 Posted July 27, 2019 8 hours ago, SidoraxVonCreep said: Thanks for your replies. I guess you have a point, it's mostly about confidence. Which I unfortunately completely lack. but this is something you can work on. there are a lot of self help books and articles exist that seek to improve confidence and esteem.
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