how many is too many?

[Purple_Rabbit]

be walking like john wayne

[Chloebear]

Their arm would fall off (let alone your butt!). Cane is intense. I like none with this implement :D

[Ro****]

Delusional

[Ky****]

13 hours ago, Chloebear said:

Their arm would fall off (let alone your butt!). Cane is intense. I like none with this implement :D

i do enjoy being caned but have never got beyond 20 myself, it is intense yes

[Ky****]

since as far as I'm aware this person is not on here, the follow up question must be is there anyway that I can alert ppl generally to be on their guard about him/her?

 

[ge****]

Now that is where you have to be careful - naming and shaming is a tricky one, and likely to resort in both denial and muck being thrown back the other way whether true or not.
.
If there are others wherever this was that you know well enough to warn privately or post something similar to this thread which doesn't name him but makes the dangers of it clear are about the only real options I can see

[Ky****]

28 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Now that is where you have to be careful - naming and shaming is a tricky one, and likely to resort in both denial and muck being thrown back the other way whether true or not.
.
If there are others wherever this was that you know well enough to warn privately or post something similar to this thread which doesn't name him but makes the dangers of it clear are about the only real options I can see

thats what I thought

[QXX666]

2 hours ago, Kymi said:

since as far as I'm aware this person is not on here, the follow up question must be is there anyway that I can alert ppl generally to be on their guard about him/her?

 

He’s only talked about it. It’s not like he is an ***r or worse. And tbh peoples who have been called out usually change their username or platforms… so this is a good sign to check if someone is kind of sound, If they said they are experienced but only new to a fetish site…🤔

Edited September 12, 2023 by QXX666

[Th****]

I think it's wrong of him to compare the limits of one person to yours in attempt for him to get you to do more than what you're comfortable with. An experienced partner won't do that, they'll ease in whatever you're interested in and only focus on you instead of comparing you to previous encounters. 

[WLondonGirl]

People seem to confuse masochism with submission. 

[Chloebear]

3 hours ago, Utility2 said:

People seem to confuse masochism with submission. 

And sadism with domination too.

[Chloebear]

14 hours ago, QXX666 said:

He’s only talked about it. It’s not like he is an ***r or worse. And tbh peoples who have been called out usually change their username or platforms… so this is a good sign to check if someone is kind of sound, If they said they are experienced but only new to a fetish site…🤔

Sometimes inexperienced people who claim to be experienced or don’t understand fully the line between fantasy and reality are quite dangerous. They’re not ill-intended necessarily, but they can still be harmful. You can use the discussion to educate or engage them, but it’s definitely a flag that the person isn’t a responsible Dom for me…

[QXX666]

@Chloebear I agreed to that but she mentioned reporting that person which is different. The best way is like Kymi did and ask in forum…

[Ky****]

On 9/13/2023 at 3:50 AM, Chloebear said:

Sometimes inexperienced people who claim to be experienced or don’t understand fully the line between fantasy and reality are quite dangerous. They’re not ill-intended necessarily, but they can still be harmful. You can use the discussion to educate or engage them, but it’s definitely a flag that the person isn’t a responsible Dom for me…

that got confirmed yesterday, after I repeated my concerns about both his attitude to caning and his persistent misgendering I got a tirade of ***, starting with me being a liar etc, then ending with really nasty misgendering saying that he really hated my kind, meaning trans gender ppl, which is why he just wanted to beat perverted faggots asses, yes those are the words used, so its certain that he was not an experienced Dom nor the TV Mistress he/she claimed and the spanking etc was an excuse for transphobia

[DarkArts1066]

7 minutes ago, Kymi said:

that got confirmed yesterday, after I repeated my concerns about both his attitude to caning and his persistent misgendering I got a tirade of ***, starting with me being a liar etc, then ending with really nasty misgendering saying that he really hated my kind, meaning trans gender ppl, which is why he just wanted to beat perverted faggots asses, yes those are the words used, so its certain that he was not an experienced Dom nor the TV Mistress he/she claimed and the spanking etc was an excuse for transphobia

Firstly, I am sincerely sorry that you’ve had to experience this level of bigotry, in order to affirm that your suspicions were correct. There is NO excuse for this kind of behaviour. People like this person are frequently a danger to others… and had you chosen to continue with this individual, the outcome may have been quite different. I hope, moving forward, that you are now better equipped to spot others like this, and I wish you all the best.

[Buddy-dj]

Some people can’t accept other people’s positives and retreat to an inbound sanctuary called jealousy. The tirade that follows is just cowardice and pathetic in my opinion.
Everyone deserves to live their life how they feel fit…… you only get one chance.
Well…. That’s my opinion anyway.

[Ky****]

1 minute ago, DarkArts1066 said:

Firstly, I am sincerely sorry that you’ve had to experience this level of bigotry, in order to affirm that your suspicions were correct. There is NO excuse for this kind of behaviour. People like this person are frequently a danger to others… and had you chosen to continue with this individual, the outcome may have been quite different. I hope, moving forward, that you are now better equipped to spot others like this, and I wish you all the best.

the really worrying thing is that we've actually been in contact for 7 years, I did once meet up for an over the jeans riding crop session, at the time I thought that he was a bit of a wannabe with some very control type fantasies, it seems it was much more than that, warning to all subs out there I think, maybe it needs a new forum post since it went waaaay beyond my original question but can't think how to intro one

[DarkArts1066]

2 hours ago, Kymi said:

the really worrying thing is that we've actually been in contact for 7 years, I did once meet up for an over the jeans riding crop session, at the time I thought that he was a bit of a wannabe with some very control type fantasies, it seems it was much more than that, warning to all subs out there I think, maybe it needs a new forum post since it went waaaay beyond my original question but can't think how to intro one

I find most of the time, that my first impression of someone is usually the right one - but I’ve been told that I am exceptionally intuitive and empathic by several people over the years. Others may not have that same level of foresight.
- That’s not a boast, by the way, simply fact.
I put a lot of stock in people using their first impression of someone to formulate - and ask questions of that person.
In a brand new, ‘first meet’ environment, the playing field is basically level. It’s only after then that we start to take on ‘roles’ and one party becomes the Dominant or more assertive character as such.

I believe that there have been several other threads on “hot to spot fakes” … and other safety related questions… so have a trawl through and see what you can find.

I feel - very strongly, that those of us with real world experience and knowledge have a duty to try an educate others, in how to stay safe, how to spot fakes, chancers and potential ***rs.
People who are new to kink, BDSM and any kind of open minded/fetish lifestyle quite often do so with a naivety which puts them at great risk.