how many is too many?

[Ky****]

recently I got asked by someone claiming to be an experience to meet them and they would give me 200 strokes of the cane, when I replied that's too many they responded that most subs liked between 300-500.  Since I don't believe that I'm wondering how many people, both D & S, actually think is enough both as an intro and as a level to work up to.

[DJ****]

My first ever spanking session was around 80 strokes, 10 with each different implement.
A cane can be hard or soft, but don’t forget the limits are primarily set by the sub!!

[UK****]

There is no magic number it's down to the individual, however, in my experience the person you are talking to is a fantasist and not living in a bdsm reality.

[Ky****]

10 minutes ago, UK_Knight said:

There is no magic number it's down to the individual, however, in my experience the person you are talking to is a fantasist and not living in a bdsm reality.

that's what I think too

 

[ge****]

There's a reason "6 of the best" is a known phrase when it comes to canings and that's a fair guide to numbers, though 12 strokes or even 24 are not unusual - 200-300 is way extreme though and likely to cause some serious damage for most people.
.
There are probably some that could take that many but again that's at the extreme end of the scale.
.
Anyone suggesting it's the norm is as UK_Knight suggested a fantasist and a dangerous one at that

[Ky****]

11 minutes ago, DJR86 said:

My first ever spanking session was around 80 strokes, 10 with each different implement.
A cane can be hard or soft, but don’t forget the limits are primarily set by the sub!!

it was the idea of someone claiming most subs liked 300-500 cane strokes that got my attention, my first spanking session was similar to yours but again with different implements, I think I managed 12 of those with a heavy cane

[aq****]

The claim of 300-500 as a norm is pretty surreal to me, but the worse part is he using it as a way to make you feel bad about a limit you are putting there.
His reply to you saying that you think that is too many should never be “but other can take it” and yes in the lines of “we can see how you feel and build up to it slowly”

[QXX666]

Experienced? As an intro, any experience Dom/Top would tell you it all depends on the sub. It’s a personal/specific approach not a “you will get 200 strokes because…”!
I and maybe most Doms work up a graduate set of impact sessions.
Sound like that person is some kind of “meat basher “.

[Ae****]

I take the age, divide by two, multiply by number of previous boyfriends, add on number of male siblings, subtract number of female siblings, and finally divide by number of years driving with no claims. THAT is the number of canes a sub should accept, regardless of what they think or feel.

If not, the sub is worthless and clearly doesn't know how to operate in that dynamic

[DarkArts1066]

Kymi…. I am hoping that this person you are conversing with is a total fantasist - and not a complete idiot - and ***r, which is the other option.

To declare that ‘most’ subs like between 300-500 strokes of the cane, and to offer you an opening bid of 200 is nothing short of insanity. In all my years working with novices - and highly experienced subs alike, have seldom experienced anyone who can ‘comfortably’ take 300 regular strokes with a decent cane- let alone 500. Now, I know it is easily possible to moderate the intensity of a stroke - and to use ‘nursery’ canes - for wanting a better description… but regardless of that, this person is not living in the real world.

As previous posters have commented, it is usual to build up a persons tolerance with low ‘sets’, gauge their response to this, and build slowly, over time.

I would certainly never flay the living daylights out of someone I had just engaged with.

I am curious as to what this person sees as the objective to this session…? It’s not a ‘maintenance’ caning, so is it a punishment session ? - if so, what for ?….
Or is it just for their own gratification ?

Avoid - like the plague.

[Deleted Member]

This person hasn't a clue about how a D/s dynamic works if they think it's ok to arbitrarily impose a ridiculous impact scene.

[Lo****]

The biggest red flag that i have seen

[Do****]

Run for the hills………..!

[DarkArts1066]

23 minutes ago, DommeDelight said:

Run for the hills………..!

And keep on running !
Agreed.

Incidentally, regarding your comment on your profile about sunnies cancelling - yes… this does happen to Male Doms also…. With alarming regularity. Given that I always work hard to put a potential sub at ease before we meet - or before a session, it is most frustrating !

[Do****]

4 minutes ago, DarkArts1066 said:

And keep on running !
Agreed.

Incidentally, regarding your comment on your profile about sunnies cancelling - yes… this does happen to Male Doms also…. With alarming regularity. Given that I always work hard to put a potential sub at ease before we meet - or before a session, it is most frustrating !

Same here. I make sure we know each other well beforehand. Very reassuring etc. But🤷🏻‍♀️
Interestingly they seem more focused on attending since I put the comment! Less cancellations 😁

[ex****]

Run this person just wants to *** someone. Always check guys out before meeting them. Dm me if you don’t know how to check. Meet in public place. If they won’t take time to get to know you and help you get comfortable, they are not someone you should be alone with.

[Newyn]

200 strokes of cane ? OMG, it is a very high number. can't imagine going to 300 or 500 as this person said. the highest number I got is 25-30 strokes and it can already cause damages.

[Ho****]

Red Flag…Delete…Block. And good for you checking in with your community! Stay safe!

[Ky****]

@DarkArts1066its someone I've been in contact with for years, they are very much if you are a real sub do xyz, this is just the latest example of agreeing to something online today and then the day before meeting changing their minds, yes he is red flagged, if he was on here I'd have reported, personally I think he gets his kink out of online/distance domination without having the decency to say so, that's why he always adds something new after asking to meet, things I've previously said no and he's agreed so I think his dynamic isn't to actually cane just to do remote Dom, but jiust in case I thought I'd ask

[ey****]

I know there's the good old hola of "it depends on the sub!" but actually it doesn't - there are numbers which get silly for silly sake and even the most hardened of sub is not going to be able to take so many strokes - because there's going to be a point where the sub is bust open and this is often a point where... it's really not always safe to continue, or there's often not much point in continuing.

Unless, of course, these strokes are all light taps.

[Newyn]

8 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I know there's the good old hola of "it depends on the sub!" but actually it doesn't - there are numbers which get silly for silly sake and even the most hardened of sub is not going to be able to take so many strokes - because there's going to be a point where the sub is bust open and this is often a point where... it's really not always safe to continue, or there's often not much point in continuing.

Unless, of course, these strokes are all light taps.

Exactly. AS I said in my other post, 25-30 are even many and can cause some seriousa damage (let's consider the erly strokes as gentle pats) this point that this person is clueless on what he is talking about. He don't care for the safety of the partner and, finally, have some inner hate toward women (imho, otherwise I can't explain such level of *** to give). Definitively a person to avoid.

 

[Chastity_Pup_Gabbia]

Sounds like the person has as much experience in bdsm as I have in brain surgery. I bet they don’t even know about safe words. 300 - 500 strokes is very high. Some subs have high *** thresholds and some lower. Maybe question them on safe words too.

[RosineK]

Clearly a lie. Block.

[Ro****]

That sounds insane. Unless its 300 love taps they are full of shit

[Deleted Member]

Ridiculous, fair enough depends on what you like but still ridiculous. They’re just been silly & of course not of the bdsm reality.