“Dom drop” is actually a very real thing too.
Although it is seldom talked about, or admitted to.

Many in our world see Doms discussing Dom drop as a form of weakness -which of course is absolute rubbish. We have feelings too, which sometimes manifest in a negative way.

A Dom has a duty of care Read more… to any sub that they engage with …… but who has a duty of care to us - the Dom?

And how often is that duty of care (if indeed it exists) observed ?

It’s an interesting question.

Your story is unfortunate, but sadly not unique.
You mention ‘horrible’ sub drop.

Are you able to verbalise better how that manifested ?
It might help us to understand your Dom’s reaction to it ?

I feel personally in the absence of an acceptable explanation from your Dom (and I in no way support Read more… his behaviour whatsoever…) that you should try to compartmentalise that experience if you can, and try to refocus on the fact that no two experiences are ever quite the same.

With a new Dom, it would be important to find a way to describe and verbalise how that sub drop affected you, so that you could mutually discuss your needs - if should that happen again.

There is NO EXCUSE for a Dom walking away from you after sub drop.
Ever.

We have an obligation- and a duty of care, to make sure you recover and are in a good place after sub drop, which can have long term effects.
Thankfully they are manageable, and you WILL be able to move forward from this.

Be open and honest about this experience with any future Doms that you choose to engage with, and be sure they know and understand what you need before you engage in any kind of play.
Clearly that also means that you need to figure out what you need yourself.

I hope this helps.

I don’t believe that your kink is supremely niche, no.
I know several women who enjoy being deprived of an orgasm, and some even who wish to be punished for having them.

I think that Men (or SOME of us anyway,) are inately programmed to ensure that our partners enjoy sexual experiences as much as Read more… we do.

I know that’s not always the case, but it seems to me that those are the men you are finding.

It’s almost a validation of our sexual prowess or ability perhaps.
I personally don’t see it as such, although I do generally enjoy giving more pleasure sexually than I receive as a point of fact….

But I have spoken to other Men - and Couples, who feel that validation.

So it follows that, for those men, depriving a woman consistently can feel alien… almost unbelievable that they should actually want that.

Perhaps these men are jusging by their own needs - and standards?

I can’t be sure, because that’s not how I see things.

But it might be a starting point for discussions ?

Over the years, I’ve tended to find that older women have more presence. They know what they want, -AND how to get it.
Some I know can stop a conversation dead , simply by walking into the room.
THAT is power - and presence.

They have experienced a bit of life, have the battle scars and aren’t Read more… afraid to show them.

I’m attracted to younger women too sometimes, but I find them often too self centred and perfunctory.

If your favourite topic of conversation, is exclusively You, then we won’t have much in common. I like people who are well read, well travelled, flirt, have a sparkle about them, are capable of communicating using body language

That’s not to say there aren’t some incredible younger ladies out there - there are. But they do take a bit of finding..!

I also have a fetish for big, hanging breasts, and curves …… more mature women generally have bigger boobs 🤷🏻‍♂️

:1774179012,7018735,
Congratulations on your divorce. Your life now is what I could have whenever I want, it disgusts me. Clearly, my post wasn’t about how using other people’s bodies makes is fulfilling to you. Thanks for the mansplaining and helping me Read more… prove my point. Take care

No ‘Mansplaining’ intended.

I think You’ve missed the point of my comment.

I’ve always had a genuinely high sex drive - since my ***s, and somehow found myself in a sexless marriage, sleeping in separate rooms for three years before we finally called it a day.
Sex for me was only if my Wife wanted it, and then it was only ever oral on her, then she would get up and head Read more… for a shower, leaving me to finish myself off - every time.

When I was finally single and the world was once again my oyster, I was both excited to be back out there, and hesitant in case I fell into a similar situation again.

For me, it was a period of experimentation, -of engagement with other people, but only ever on a casual basis.
Simple rules.

Chat before meeting.

Meet publicly before going any further.

Never having anyone back to my house…. (I had a stalker once, who broke into my house. I found her sat at my kitchen table drinking my red wine…😳)

And perhaps the most important of all, concise, transparent conversations about what we BOTH expected to get out of our collusions…. Including safewords and aftercare where appropriate.

Eleven years on, and I am still happily single, and very satisfied -in every way. 😉

Usually having someone else to share it with.
My kinks aren’t extreme at all… but some of them are a little different, a lot revolve around specific roleplay scenarios, and so that makes it difficult sometimes to broach the subject with someone, and ask them if they will participate.
I have sought Read more… out prostitutes in the past, to indulge my fetishes with, but not for a while now.

There is always a solution to a problem. 😉

As I seem to say constantly on various discussions on here and on other platforms, communication is the key, to pretty much everything in the Universe - kink or not.
The way to “deal” with Jealousy, is to make sure you don’t get to that position of feeling it in the first place.
And that means Read more… exhaustive conversations about what limits you are going to set -always together, how frequently you are going to engage in group sex, what the actual process for having sex with someone else is - for example, is this only when you are together as a couple ?
Are both going to participate all the time ?
Will one party watch ?
Can you play separately -but with permission?
I’ve had group sex before which has just … happened, -out of the blue with my partner and two of our friends after a night out, and there were still hasty discussions about who can put what where, and safewords or phrases that can indicate that one party is not happy to continue, - between my partner and I.
Likewise both I and that particular partner were allowed to play separately, providing we let the other person know before the fact either by text or call -so that the other party could veto -if they felt strongly about it at the time.
There are so many ways this can play out.
But - almost every obstacle can be overcome with a simple conversation.
Understand each others’ perspectives and WHY you both want to do this, and you won’t go far wrong.
One final comment.
Make certain, that BOTH of you are onboard with this, and that one of you isn’t just saying “yes” to please the other.
If that situation occurs, it is LIFE changing.
Take it from someone who has been there, a very long time ago.

As a slight aside to this discussion, I would say that Poly relationships are often MORE committed, and the participants are much more open about everything, than those in mono relationships.

Whilst I agree with WckdMP that moderation is a good thing, I tend to find with my Primary kink that I’ve just explored it more deeply -and more creatively over the past 45 years.
There are times when I focus on other interests, but I always come back to my Primary.