Whilst I agree with WckdMP that moderation is a good thing, I tend to find with my Primary kink that I’ve just explored it more deeply -and more creatively over the past 45 years.
There are times when I focus on other interests, but I always come back to my Primary.

I personally don’t believe that you one can have true Dominance without empathy. The two are symbiotic.
In order to main physical Dominance, one also has to be able to create a psychologically Dominant state of being, to which One’s sub is empathic to also.
And how can one do that without first Read more… understanding the subject of that projected Dominance?
There is no ‘trick’ to maintaining a Dominant state, it is simply a matter of deep understanding.
Some Dominants that I have spoken to mention a latent ‘state of mind’. An inner being, which is who they truly are.
I believe that might be a starting point, with its base in one’s own upbringing, observations and personal experiences, but One also has a duty to expand on that, if the objective is to be a ‘good’ Dom -or Domme.
That means education and continual development, by whatever means is most appropriate for the pupil.
For me, I learn from others -visually.
I also read -voraciously.
Parts of my collection are devoted to historical erotica which focuses on Dominance and submission, BDSM, Corporal Punishment. Then there are also sections focusing on Human psychology and sociology too.
In order to be an effective, well balanced Dominant, one needs to be well rounded.
As a point of order, You mention ‘sub drop’, but ‘Dom drop’ exists also.
Generally speaking, no one ‘checks in’ on the Dom, which means we have to be self aware, and self monitoring, lest we become complacent -and careless.
I take what I do very seriously.
Just my perspective.

The iconic moment for me is written in my Fetlife profile.
Complicated to go into here, but suffice it to say, it happened when I was quite young, and shaped my big breast fetish over forty years ago.

There are some really thoughtful ideas coming through here.
My personal thoughts are these:
If you know your Daddy well, you’ll know the things he likes, and the things that are important to him.
So, for example, the ‘stand outs’ from comments above would be simple things which make His life easier Read more… and more pleasant.
Having work clothes laid out for the following day. (You may have to consult with him about what is acceptable for that particular day.
Is he a ‘Morning’ or ‘Evening’ person when it comes to sex ?
I would find a morning BJ frustrating, because afterwards, I would want to stay in bed and enjoy the moment !
However, when I come home at night, an “assisted” shower, with a sensual HJ between your soapy breasts - or that BJ, would be heavenly… followed later in the evening -after dinner, by you dressing in something you know I like, and touching yourself, whilst telling me about all the naughty thoughts you’ve had, while I was out at work.
That would then help me decide how the evenings carnal pleasures would manifest themselves… and I would be able to give you the attention that you crave.
Other things like making our shared bed everyday would also be -and are important to me.
Most importantly though, give thought to His needs and desires, and He will, no doubt, return that attention.

Ask yourself these questions-
One. What harm is viewing her content actually doing - as long as you don’t mention to her that you are doing so ?
(Neither of you are being harmed by this situation - as it stands. IF you were to mention this to her, you would likely be crossing a line, since she has Read more… showed you this content, but wants to keep it secret from her friendship group.)
Two. At what point would YOU see your behaviour as crossing a line ?
(We all have ‘guilty pleasures’. That secret part of us that we would be embarrassed about if it became public knowledge… it could be something as binge watching a TV programme and eating a whole tub of ice cream - or a Dominant person needing to feel the sting of a cane now and then perhaps …?)
BUT - the point is, as long as no one is actually coming to harm through our actions, and as long as we are able to keep a lid on these desires, and keep them hidden then what is the actual harm in doing what you are doing ?
Bear in mind this though - if you were to “party” with your friend again, and blurt out that you knew about her lifestyle, how would that affect your friendship ?
Can you trust yourself enough for that not to happen ?

I believe that we live in an age of apathy.
An age of desensitisation, where peoples’ feelings are often disregarded.
Many people have become very self centred and as a result, there is a sense of disposability creeping into relationships.
That may sound harsh and disparaging, but before you Read more… pooh-Pooh it completely, give it some consideration. X

For me personally, I don’t really have an issue with a sub asking me questions - per se, but it depends on what kind of questions they are.
If they are related to the dynamic, or my experience, that’s fine.
A certain degree of personal questioning would be fine, but if we are talking about family Read more… details, or anything of a deeply personal and intrusive nature, and I am not in a regular dynamic with that person, then that is where I would draw the line.

As a Dom, this makes an uncomfortable read, but I am pleased you are able to verbalise what must be a heartbreaking situation for others to read.
It happens more often than most people think.
If you ‘sell’ yourself as a Dom, then you also need to accept ALL of the environmental conditions which Read more… come with that role.
And many so called Doms can’t or don’t want to do that.
They can be selfish.
That starts with understanding.
Not just understanding your sub / little / slave .. but understanding yourself.
Being able to self-reflect, and to consider the needs of others before your own - always.
Because if you can’t do that, the emotional destruction which you will leave behind makes your position -and having that level of responsibility untenable.
I sincerely hope that you find a way to move forward from this experience.
Not move on - move forward.
I choose these words carefully.
Moving forward implies that you can take a less than pleasant experience, and use it to elevate yourself into a better place.
I wish you all the best.

Interesting question.
When I was a LOT younger, I used to have a female friend who had a rubber coat.
It was a proper shiny rubber Mac, with that rubber smell.
I wasn’t particularly attracted to her, -but the smell of that coat ……… !
It was like an aphrodisiac to me.
No idea why, but there it is. Read more…
These days my kinks are more ‘refined’ … and I still love the look and feel of rubber clothing on a woman…. But the scent of it seems less important to me now.

Nicely written. Reminds me of one such Lady I knew actually.
Whilst we didn’t have a Spa experience like that, she did like to finger herself while I masturbated in front of her, and ejaculated over her huge breasts……
Those were sweet days ………….

Sex - and kink is like every other aspect of our lives.
We shouldn’t feel we ‘have’ to do anything that we don’t wish to, or won’t tolerate just to please someone else.
There is nothing at all wrong with your stance on this.
As a slight caveat, for me personally, I would certainly appreciate it Read more… -if and when things progress and sex is on the agenda, a conversation were had, so that both partners understand each others hard limits.
It doesn’t have to be a whole ‘G7 summit’ kind of conversation, but a simple “just so you know, I don’t give head. It totally kills my mood”.
I’m actually not a big fan of receiving oral sex myself, and in my younger days, when a partners head would start heading south, a simple “you don’t need to do that….” followed by me manoeuvring her and turning the tables -so to speak would be enough…. but these days it’s important to be clear about these things -and people seem to be more open to having that short frank discussion than they were back then.
There is nothing worse when “getting your groove on”, and someone does something inadvertently that their partner finds a complete turn off… and you kill the mood instantly !
This is especially true where kink is concerned… because there are SO many ways one can overstep -without that conversation happening.
Informed consent at all times is the way forward. 👍🏼

As in “right before” sex ?
I think that would likely take the edge off.
However discussing limits, and what both parties feel is acceptable at some point is essential.
I am reminded of a friend of mine who was in a relationship with someone. They had a good sex life by all accounts.
He spoke to me Read more… one day, quite distraught because he thought he had ended the relationship “accidentally”.
She was giving him oral one day, and for some reason, and with no precedent or discussion beforehand, he decided to pull out ane finish himself off over her face.
Turned out that she absolutely HATES having cum on her face.
He was lucky. VERY lucky. They worked through it and are now married with a family…
And his actions were no accident.
I made that plain to him.
He had made a conscious decision without consulting her about it, or at least giving it proper thought - and knowing what her particular feeling were on that.
The lesson here is NEVER make assumptions that your actions are acceptable, without discussing them first.