avocadoe Posted September 20, 2023 Posted September 20, 2023 Hello, I'm a sub who's recently just met a very good dom on an online platform, and we are in the process of establishing our d/s relationship. He's the sweetest guy out of the play, he communicates with me a lot and always try to give an impression of "I'll always be here for you so if you want to chat or need me for anything just hit me up" kind of dom, and he always makes time for me despites his busy worklife. During the play, he's the perfect dominant for me as he knows what I want and also push me to do things he knows I want but never got the courage to do it (I fully give him consent for this since this is also what I need). Yet this being my first ever d/s relationship, while he has had a bunch of experiences on his own, I actually want to ask him for more stuffs to do (example: weekly tasks like diary or journals, audios from him, etc) yet I don't know how to convey this as he has done so much for me. The only thing I have the courage to ask for him is a permission when I need to touch/rub myself alone. I actually want to have a deeper connection with him by doing the "cute" stuffs like I mentioned before. What should I do?
Deleted Member Posted September 20, 2023 Posted September 20, 2023 You should definitely speak to him and let him know that you’re seeking for him to give you weekly or daily task that you can do for him throughout you everyday life . He seems like a super great understanding guy so just bring it up to him and let him know that this is also something you want.
Jamlpez Posted September 20, 2023 Posted September 20, 2023 Tell him exactly what you want. He may already do so much for you but he's not going to be able to read your mind, so you need to be clear and honest about what you want.
Da**** Posted September 20, 2023 Posted September 20, 2023 just speak to him and tell him what you want or need from him. my submissive done it to me and we have a very similar relationship. she asked to me look after more so i ve put timers on my phone for to take paracetamol as she isn't well right now. be clear and honest
Felixdomme Posted September 20, 2023 Posted September 20, 2023 Communication is everything I assume that there are times when you’re not in d/S mode and you can talk about stuff. If not then try communicating through a friend.
bi**** Posted September 20, 2023 Posted September 20, 2023 don't go too fast, you want more stuff to do and this will be a big strain constantly working out things to do. Its best to keep you waiting for more - desperate if you like. Still, talk and ask if he's going at the pace he thinks is right or is he taking it slowly to break you in.
DarkArts1066 Posted September 20, 2023 Posted September 20, 2023 I would pick one thing that you would like permission to do for starters … and simply ask him - respectfully, when you feel the time is right. If/when he gives you aftercare, perhaps this would be a good time to ask him ? Picking your moment is probably one of the most important parts of this. Before a play session would be wrong - both of you should already be getting into the ‘zone’ and your focus should be on what is to come. If you have conversations outside of your dynamic - or you have a debrief session if any sort post play, then again, these would be good times to bring it up. He sounds to me like he is understanding of your needs…. So I can’t see an issue.
Tessa369 Posted September 20, 2023 Posted September 20, 2023 I am in my first D/s relationship. My Dom has slowly taken me on a wonderful journey into the world of BDSM. He has done a fantastic job of reading me to introduce new activities into our sessions. If he feels I'm ready to bring in something new or I would like to try something new we talk about it in our after session discussions. If it is proposed by him he allows me time to decide if I feel ready for a new activity or to take an established activity to a new level. Our relationship is based on trust and having good communication has given me an opportunity to enjoy new activities at a rate that works for us both. Going slow has only built up our trust in each other. My advice would be the same as above. Communicate on a regular basis that works for you both and take time to introduce new activities as you're ready. It has made my journey amazing. Good luck in your journey... Live Kinky 💜🔥💥.
GreyHog Posted September 20, 2023 Posted September 20, 2023 In past relationships, I've encouraged my subs to write me "love letters". I want to know what they like, love, don't like, want more of, want differently. Even doms need some feedback once in a while. I prefer the letters over my subs "domming from the bottom", trying to lead the play while playing. We are both trying to get to a mutually satisfying destination, it helps to know we are both pulling in a similar direction.
Kali_Ma Posted September 21, 2023 Posted September 21, 2023 Just ask him to keep a journal and how many days a week. Any Dom who knows what he's doing should have you journaling anyway especially if your new it's way for him to know you better and map out your training.
Kali_Ma Posted September 21, 2023 Posted September 21, 2023 What hell did he say "domming from the bottom"
oh**** Posted September 28, 2023 Posted September 28, 2023 We have a shared note on our iPhones that contains our agreement and interests. I can add stuff to columns for things I like or things I desire. It’s a nice way to put things on his radar in a super lowkey way. If I feel strongly about something, though, I just let him know. Sounds like you found a good one so just be open.
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