Collar or no Collar

[Deleted Member]

Hi, I will be going to my local club on Friday night without a Mistress, and I was thinking of wearing a new studded collar. Is it right to wear a collar without a Mistress
I am only asking as I haven't been to many clubs before .

I'm just being apprehensive? I will be walking around naked except from a pair skimpy of little black wet look shorts with a large zipped opening over my genitals, standing at a bar drinking hopefully chatting to someone who will hopefully beat my arse senseless with all manor of implements. Fingers crossed.

But should I wear the collar🤪

[Deleted Member]

Yep, collar is the way to go, I’d go for it

[Ar****]

It's up to you.

A lot of - perhaps most - people who see you wearing a collar might interpret it as a signal that you are "owned", and in a high protocol setting that is something you probably want to avoid.

But ultimately you wear what you want and feel comfortable/confident in. Other people's version of BDSM is not the same as yours and vice versa.

If in doubt, check directly with the club/event organiser for their advice.

[adrenalina75]

Club T?

[Ba****]

As a solo submissive who regularly attends events, sometimes I will wear a collar, sometimes I won’t. There is no right or wrong answer. I tend to now only wear one if I know it’ll be helpful in a scene i will be involved with, if I’m just going to hang out / play it by ear, I’m less likely to bother. But I normally keep one in my personal toy bag which comes with me.

That being said, I almost always wear locking wrist cuffs so I guess that’s maybe the same thing?

[Deleted Member]

I wear mine all the time but then again I was given the command to do so

[Gl****]

You should ask your Mistress. Communication is key. If it was my person, I would want them to feel sexy and confident so they can focus on enjoying their time.

[Gl****]

2 minutes ago, SINrzDream said:

You should ask your Mistress. Communication is key. If it was my person, I would want them to feel sexy and confident so they can focus on enjoying their time.

If you are single… do you! I say wear it if you bought it! It could be a good conversation starter. Maybe you’ll leave with a new one

[DeviantInside]

I can only talk about the clubs I have been to in the UK and from my own personal opinion. Wearing a collar does not designate that you are owned or with someone. It has become almost a fashion accessory at this point, particularly at fet clubs I have been to. In fact I have known people wear collars who are single and have absolutely no intention of submitting to anyone. What matters more is being respectful, being engaging but not encroaching, not simping or being pradadtory and, you know, just being a generally half decent almost human being. That said I have no clue what the club you are thinking of going to is like, it may be more worthwhile contacting the people that run the place and asking what is considered ok there specifically.

[Pe****]

I would suggest if you have a dynamic to have informal chat about it.

But it sounds like your asking if its ok to wear one if you dont have one, and yes its ok.

A Dom, sub, masochist, sadist, brat, princess etc is a personality.

A collar given to a submissive for play and ownership has meaning and is special in unity, saying that collar and dress code is an extension of you and your desired personality outlet.

In traditional sense and events, i go to if you were to go with a collar you would be asked if your `here with some one/ whats your dynamic/ are you open to x y z/ are you owned'

I would expect and encourage my partner to go if i couldn't attend and have expectations and a debrief, and my community are usually there to overlook each others body language.

If i had a commitment relationship, there would be a lock that indicates 'owner or protected'

It sounds like an exciting event. You definitely have to be yourself, and it is ok. Many people collar their selfs.

I say yes.

[Deleted Member]

9 hours ago, adrenalina75 said:

Club T?

No it's at Townhouse. Not been to club T is it any good? Tried Club Bacchus in Dundee a couple of Months ago.

[My****]

The collar is a fashion statement and I’ve seen unowned submissives wear them at these clubs, but in my mind it’s confusing because the collar represents ownership to a dominant. It’s similar comparison to a wedding ring. I have told submissives in the past why no one is approaching them, dominant men and women think your owned. However going without a collar when you’re owned, seems a bit sketchy as you will find people trying to make contact more than if the collar was in place. Having another dominant use you is borderline “cheating” unless you have permission from your dominant ofc. That saying “what goes on at the club, stays at the club” is an understatement as people talk especially if your active in the kink community.

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, MyHandsYourNeck said:

The collar is a fashion statement and I’ve seen unowned submissives wear them at these clubs, but in my mind it’s confusing because the collar represents ownership to a dominant. It’s similar comparison to a wedding ring. I have told submissives in the past why no one is approaching them, dominant men and women think your owned. However going without a collar when you’re owned, seems a bit sketchy as you will find people trying to make contact more than if the collar was in place. Having another dominant use you is borderline “cheating” unless you have permission from your dominant ofc. That saying “what goes on at the club, stays at the club” is an understatement as people talk especially if your active in the kink community.

Thanks, I was thinking the same thing. I will probably take and play it by ear.
My Mistress has given me permission to go and have fun. We are in a long distance Poly relationship.

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, indyindyindy said:

As a solo submissive who regularly attends events, sometimes I will wear a collar, sometimes I won’t. There is no right or wrong answer. I tend to now only wear one if I know it’ll be helpful in a scene i will be involved with, if I’m just going to hang out / play it by ear, I’m less likely to bother. But I normally keep one in my personal toy bag which comes with me.

That being said, I almost always wear locking wrist cuffs so I guess that’s maybe the same thing?

Thanks for the advice. So looking forward to tomorrow, it has all the ingredients to be a fantastic night.
I think I will take it and play it by🦻🤪

[SK****]

Personally, I won't approach anyone collared. It's disrespectful to them and their dynamic. I'd be very wary of anyone who's willing to approach you while collared. They either wouldn't be very experienced and wouldn't understand kink dynamics very well, or don't give a shit..

Either way, worth avoiding.

If you go collared, I'd have her write a hall pass on your back in permanent marker and sign it..

"Please punish my whore sub. His safe word is (insert safe word here.)

If you read this introduce yourself by saying "Hi slut."

Mistress x (or whatever)”

Something like that..

It has to be on your back so that you couldn't possibly write it yourself..

And if they don't say "hi slut," ignore them..

[SK****]

Also, collars can be a bracelet with a lock on it as well.. they're not always around the neck.

[Deleted Member]

I don’t have a dom and I’ve got 3 collars, I’ll wear my collar at the gym.😆 I like showing off i like being looked at or noticed. Wear it it makes life fun and playful!

[SK****]

SMH... Lol.. I'm low protocol. I'm not one of those huge sticklers about kink rules.. but... I'd be wary of anyone willing to approach you while you are wearing a collar.. That person is either a complete asshole, or a complete newbie..

[SK****]

Also.. there's a difference between a collar and a ***r necklace..

[Mr****]

Ask your Mistress