Proper etiquette for OnS, NSA, FWB

[ju****]

What would you say is the proper etiquette for ONS, NSA, FWB... What would you say are the top do's and don'ts for these types of meet ups?

[Th****]

Basic human decency and kindness *always*. Explicitly discuss and negotiate specifics ahead of time so there's no assumed expectations. 

For FWB specifically I'm finding that a lot of men ignore and neglect the friendship part. If you don't want to actually have authentic friendship, don't say you want or agree to "FWB". Call it something else like a regular hookup or something. 

[Ca****]

ONS and nsa are close to being the same thing, whereas a fwb should be on going to where you continue seeing the person not just for play but also build a friendship. Not sure how those get mixed up when then have different meanings. Like previous said, be honest with your intentions and use proper terminology.

[ju****]

40 minutes ago, CaramelLatte said:

ONS and nsa are close to being the same thing, whereas a fwb should be on going to where you continue seeing the person not just for play but also build a friendship. Not sure how those get mixed up when then have different meanings. Like previous said, be honest with your intentions and use proper terminology.

I kinda think ONS and NSA are pretty different considering one you will never see each other again where as NSA could mean more than once but without any strings .... Ya know friendship being one of them...

[ge****]

In terms of etiquette, apply anything you would to *any* other relationship - just because they're short term (in the case of ONS or possibly NSA) doesn't mean all the usual things of respect, consideration and decency go out the window which is a mistake a lot of guys make

[ey****]

Like any other arrangement - communication with the other person about what you both want and expect from this is important

I'd say also for any of the above there's also how you interpret

I'd say ONS - is literally one night, and that's it - there is no obligation for either of you to get in touch with the other afterwards - and if you do "Hey, thanks for the other night" then you wouldn't pressure for another meet.

FWB - a lot of people seem to forget about the F part - that you're supposed to be friends, while this maybe isn't a pre-requisite for NSA - although despite the name, there are always strings attached - even if one or both of you thinks there isn't 

Otherwise ettiquette.  

Unless otherwise agreed...   arrive clean and presentable.   Do not outstay your welcome. Do not push for anything that wasn't agreed.  Assume you will be wearing protection.

If you (or they) are sleeping around then get tested regularly - if you have any positive results, then don't cause drama but make sure any relevant partners are notified. 

Accept these are all timelimited arrangements, even if no one knows what the limit is.  And sometimes when a friend withdraws the 'with benefits' it can sometimes lead to the end of the friendship.   

[lo****]

On 5/19/2024 at 7:31 PM, ThaliaV said:

Basic human decency and kindness *always*. Explicitly discuss and negotiate specifics ahead of time so there's no assumed expectations. 

For FWB specifically I'm finding that a lot of men ignore and neglect the friendship part. If you don't want to actually have authentic friendship, don't say you want or agree to "FWB". Call it something else like a regular hookup or something. 

They want a "fuck buddy" but either don't know the term or are being dishonest.

[Th****]

4 hours ago, locketheart said:

They want a "fuck buddy" but either don't know the term or are being dishonest.

Agreed. It's seriously frustrating when you realize your time and energy has been wasted because of it. 

Edited May 23 by ThaliaV

[ey****]

yeah; I think the issue is a lot of people say they want 'friends with benefits' but are very much focused on the 'benefits' rather than the 'friends'

over the years I've known a few people with FWB type relationships (and have probably been in a couple of situations myself, even if we didn't necessarily call it that) and in most cases it was people who were already friends deciding they wanted some form of sex together (or, play, in the kink world) or in some cases it was maybe what was expected to be a one-off, but there was a driver to maybe become friends/spend more time/etc without a formalised relationship

I think if someone is specifically looking for 'friends with benefits' then it's a bit harder than happening organically - but - if this is an arrangement you want then, what does the friendship look like? what do the benefits look like?