Deleted Member Posted December 13, 2019 Posted December 13, 2019 I'm a very twisted pervert. If you ever visited my profile, you would surely know. However, when I get into a serious relationship, I turn completely asexual towards the girl. I have a very spiritual and clean idea of love, totally separated from anything sexual. Would it seem weird to you?
Ma**** Posted December 13, 2019 Posted December 13, 2019 Are you worried about what your partners at the time think/feel in relation to your kinks?
Deleted Member Posted December 13, 2019 Author Posted December 13, 2019 45 minutes ago, magenta_269 said: Are you worried about what your partners at the time think/feel in relation to your kinks? Yeah. But that's not the main reason. The thing is I can't connect love with sexuality. I've always treated the two as separate things that never interact.
Ma**** Posted December 13, 2019 Posted December 13, 2019 Do you find sexual encounters quite transactional? I usually manage to connect the two by thinking aboiut what my partner wants. But that is quite hard sometimes.
Deleted Member Posted December 13, 2019 Author Posted December 13, 2019 1 hour ago, magenta_269 said: Do you find sexual encounters quite transactional? I usually manage to connect the two by thinking aboiut what my partner wants. But that is quite hard sometimes. For me, sexuality is a form of naughty entertainment. I don't have deep feelings for my sex partners. As well as I don't have any sexual thoughts about my love partners. Anyway, you feel the same way?
Phoenyx Posted December 14, 2019 Posted December 14, 2019 I too, have always suffered from a similar disconnect---though maybe not in quite the same way. I crave a soulmate, a companion. I wish to find someone who shares my non-erotic passions, like photography, arts, travel, adventure... I am so tired of walking this world alone. Sex, on the other hand, has always been a very technical thing, to me. It's a matter of pushing the right buttons, or playing the right notes. That may be one reason why I became so successful in the BDSM community. I can easily form an empathic connection, with any partner, sub, or slave. I feel what they feel, both physically and emotionally. I care deeply for their comfort, safety, and pleasure---perhaps, too deeply. Plus, I definitely enjoy it. But, there is no bond---at least, not in the traditional, monogamous sense. For me, so-called "vanilla sex" has been little more than a required duty. It is the glue that keeps me and a soulmate together (at times when I had one). But, I really get nothing out of it. Again, it is merely required maintenance. Plus, after a while, routine and monotony set-in. The glue becomes stale, brittle, and cracked. The bond no longer holds, and we drift apart. Perhaps, someday, I will meet someone who shares both sides of my passion. Maybe, that will finally bridge the gap. Call me crazy, but I crave a strong, dominant, physically-active woman. I would need someone with whom I could relate. Sure, there would be problems in a small, confined space. The battles for control would be endless. But, in a large enough realm, the area could be divided into three parts---my space, her space, and our shared space. It really does work. Hopefully, we would be spending more time together, in our shared space, than apart. But, the safety valve would always be there. Of course, this is just a dream. In my 64 years of walking this Earth, I am really beginning to wonder if such a person even exists.
Deleted Member Posted December 14, 2019 Author Posted December 14, 2019 1 hour ago, phoenyx said: I too, have always suffered from a similar disconnect---though maybe not in quite the same way. I crave a soulmate, a companion. I wish to find someone who shares my non-erotic passions, like photography, arts, travel, adventure... I am so tired of walking this world alone. Sex, on the other hand, has always been a very technical thing, to me. It's a matter of pushing the right buttons, or playing the right notes. That may be one reason why I became so successful in the BDSM community. I can easily form an empathic connection, with any partner, sub, or slave. I feel what they feel, both physically and emotionally. I care deeply for their comfort, safety, and pleasure---perhaps, too deeply. Plus, I definitely enjoy it. But, there is no bond---at least, not in the traditional, monogamous sense. For me, so-called "vanilla sex" has been little more than a required duty. It is the glue that keeps me and a soulmate together (at times when I had one). But, I really get nothing out of it. Again, it is merely required maintenance. Plus, after a while, routine and monotony set-in. The glue becomes stale, brittle, and cracked. The bond no longer holds, and we drift apart. Perhaps, someday, I will meet someone who shares both sides of my passion. Maybe, that will finally bridge the gap. Call me crazy, but I crave a strong, dominant, physically-active woman. I would need someone with whom I could relate. Sure, there would be problems in a small, confined space. The battles for control would be endless. But, in a large enough realm, the area could be divided into three parts---my space, her space, and our shared space. It really does work. Hopefully, we would be spending more time together, in our shared space, than apart. But, the safety valve would always be there. Of course, this is just a dream. In my 64 years of walking this Earth, I am really beginning to wonder if such a person even exists. I see sexuality as a form of entertainment. It doesn't create any connection with others, aside from possible friends with benefits. As for love, I see it as a pure spiritual bond. I can't really connect it with anything sexual. I admit I might have quite messed up values and views on things. Sexual things are dirty and innapropriate to me, that's why I don't associate it with love, which in my ideal, is a clean affectionate bond, focused solely to the emotional connection.
Deleted Member Posted December 14, 2019 Author Posted December 14, 2019 We are all different and nothing anyone feels or desires is "weird"to me.Sites like this enable us all to connect without judgment,discuss and share as you are now. For me I go completely the opposite way,my emotional side always has been stronger than my sexual and if I connect with another sexually where we fit and feel comfortable my emotions over time flood the situation and really do complicate things.I feel deep affection with those I connect with,sex is just that but with a true emotional connection it becomes much much more and has potential to develop into a real deal partnership.What you describe is actually what I seek more than anything else.A connection sexually,spiritually and more than anything emotionally.The fabled 'soulmate"
Deleted Member Posted December 14, 2019 Author Posted December 14, 2019 And for the record I reject the use of the word "pervert" a pervert does not seek consent first and I have been in the past accused of being a pervert,predator but always by vanilla folk who's pre conceived ideas of this world are totally wrong.A much better word to describe most of us would be "deviant"i have no doubts there are genuine perverts,predators amongst us and feel it is our duty to weed them out and expose them for what they are if we can
Vandalslut Posted December 14, 2019 Posted December 14, 2019 3 hours ago, phoenyx said: In my 64 years of walking this Earth, I am really beginning to wonder if such a person even exists. She does, and she's out there. Keep looking.
Deleted Member Posted December 14, 2019 Author Posted December 14, 2019 9 hours ago, Donnykinkster said: For me I go completely the opposite way,my emotional side always has been stronger than my sexual and if I connect with another sexually where we fit and feel comfortable my emotions over time flood the situation and really do complicate things.I feel deep affection with those I connect with,sex is just that but with a true emotional connection it becomes much much more and has potential to develop into a real deal partnership. Well, I have no chance of developing feelings for someone just through sexual actions. It's a mere entertainment for me. It's like playing games with someone. We can get quite close, something as "sexual friends", but I never connect deeply with them. 9 hours ago, Donnykinkster said: What you describe is actually what I seek more than anything else.A connection sexually,spiritually and more than anything emotionally.The fabled 'soulmate" I didn't really describe anything like that. My thing is that I separated emotional connection and sexuality. I guess my mind has developed a class system of what to do with certain people. I do sexual things with strangers and friends, and emotional, affectionate things with the person I love. I actually have trouble even thinking about combining the two. My former girlfriend once showed signs of sexual interest in me, and I got really confused.
Darryl895 Posted December 16, 2019 Posted December 16, 2019 I just split them up into pure love for my doggies and fuck fest for the human swine, and I never mix up the two. It just came down to that. My last gf want to take the dog away so I made that lady go. So now she is sorry. My dog died, I have a number one slot opening in my heart, but I am not giving in. I get dog, fill the number one slot with canine, then she human can come back in for some catch up visits. Actually she has developed quite nicely after she left me.
Recommended Posts