How do you identify when you’re frenzying?

[Deleted Member]

I once frenzied so hard that I got kicked out mid sex. It was the first time I was truly turned on and safe. My body started jumping around and I couldn’t stay in one sex position for more than 3 minutes. I was just like a hopping gazelle. I think he got frustrated with me because he let it go on for a few minutes then pulled out and said “WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!” He proceeded to tell me I was acting like I was 12 and he was super turned off. I immediately stated balling and tried to tell him I was frenzying and I’m also autistic. He asked me if I was on *** and I said “no, I don’t do ***” and he said, “well I think it’s best for you to leave.” So I did. Then I blocked him as I drove away because who does that to someone as soon as you open them up? I learned a few valuable lessons about frenzying.

[3r****]

damn...i just got on here and thats ucked up...I'm some type of empath cuz im 34 and trying to put myself into a situation where i am comfortable is difficult...i think i am in that boat myelf cuz i am useless when it comes to subtly or knowing when I should or shouldn't make a "move"...so ive been told of so0o many times of missed opportunities ive had where i could have been had some great sex but couldn't put 2 n 2 together

[ch****]

I noticed it after or during the week. It was taking over my life, I was making hard and fast decisions about things that needed time and I didn't care.

[Deleted Member]

No. You poor creatures. So many are mistaking their desire to please and find comfort that they think it's a frenzy. No. You're with someone you have zero chemistry with, so you're trying everything to make it feel right. Just go crazy on someone else who enjoys an excited pleaser and WANTS you. Come on, only a handful of dominating partners are worth their words. Move on knowing it wasn't you, it's whatever their problem was and their disgruntled apathy. Yall too sweet to *** in this way. Showing intimate excitement should never be punished with a boot. So wrong. There are so many who hunger for what you offer.

[mo****]

If you're joining a community to experience kink, I highly advise you to find a mentor or protector, someone with much more experience than you, who you feel comfortable sharing how you feel, so when they see you're experiencing subfrenzy, they'll you to stop or tell you no.

[Es****]

I struggle with frenzy so much. I have started to simply take a day and take a look at the opportunity in front of me. Does it make sense, is it realistic long term, how many red flags did I ignore? I hope it helps.

[mo****]

I forgot to add how you can protect yourself while in frenzy. It helps to, when you have a clear mind, to set some boundaries for yourself. If you're getting into something new with someone, write down how fast or slow you want to it. Write down your hard limits. Make yourself take a break.