For the seventh installment of my ongoing cross-website sex toy review series, we’re coming back over here to Fetish.com with my UberKinky review- the site that claims to be the LoveHoney of BDSM.

Dildo or Dildon't: The UberKinky Review


“The UK’s leading supplier of BDSM gear & bondage toys?"


There are a few things that UberKinky gets very right. Their customer service has always been good. They have reasonable prices. I find myself beset by the sceptical eye of the old hand every time I go and look at their stuff, though.  After a while, kink shopping starts to turn into a vicious cycle. You reach a point where everything looks flimsy and plasticated unless it’s made by the most serious people imaginable. The next thing you know you’re not buying anything that didn’t come from some obscure indie retailer with a stall at your local fetish fair.

I’m all for supporting small businesses, of course, but there are benefits to mass production. One of those benefits is range. For this UberKinky review, I’ve scoured their site top to bottom. Here are the best things I think it has to offer you.

UberKinky's Got Balls


I’m a big fan of kegel balls (expect a special edition on them over at Fuck.com at some point in the near future!).  UberKinky has something I’ve not seen anywhere else. The Swan Clutch, which claims to train your pelvic floor muscles by giving you better vibrations and greater pleasure the harder you squeeze.

UberKinky Sucks in a Good Way


UberKinkyI don’t know if any of you have ever tried a vacbed, but I tried one belonging to a friend of mine a few times. It’s a fascinating experience. They’re not cheap (the one at UberKinky will set you back £259.99, which is about average), but if they’re your thing they’re well worth a shot.

Their impact play range is decent but not exhaustive. They’ve covered all the bases for most newbies. For those of us on the lookout for the very best quality, will want to look elsewhere. The same can be said of their selection of restraints.

The stuff they really seem to specialise in is CBT and male chastity. As a female sub I have very little expertise in this area. They certainly a wide range of gear at a lot of price points.

The Dear Abi Seal Of Approval


I’m giving these guys three out of five stars. They’re trying, certainly, - and they quite often succeed. If you happen to be into the right things - but there are some serious drawbacks to their approach. They’re terrible on inclusivity (everything is gendered as hell). Their plus-size fetishwear range consists of one crappy costume in a not-at-all-plus size 14-16. Plus at the time of writing, it was out of stock.

There are better places to go for your gear. I’m not totally knocking them. It’s just that they’re probably serving a customer base that doesn’t entirely include me.

Abi is a freelance writer and general pen-for-hire devoted to genre fiction, social justice and M.A.C lipstick. Follow her on her website or @see_abi_write.

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