No Dicks, No Drugs, Just Deep Feels: Brittnee Bond's Play Parties

These femme-led, penetration-free play parties are changing how people explore intimacy — and yes, you’re invited. Curious? Check out her profile for upcoming events.

You won’t find floggers, crosses, or cage furniture at Brittnee Bond’s play parties. But you might find someone moaning with pleasure on a velvet floor cushion, a naked couple feeding each other fruit, or a spontaneous rope scene unfolding poolside.

Welcome to the Vanilla Vanilla Play Party — a sensual, sober, and penetration-free space where the goal isn't climax, it's connection.

Brittnee Bond is the founder of the Vanilla Vanilla Play Party, and she’s been hosting these dreamy, low-pressure events since 2021, after years of organizing cuddle parties, tantra circles, and connection workshops. What started as a mattress-piled-living-room cuddle night on a tropical island has evolved into a global movement that prioritizes deep nervous system safety, femme-led facilitation, and sensual exploration without the expectation of sex.

“I always felt that traditional sex parties were too dark or too fast for me. I wanted something soft. Something that made women feel empowered.”

So, what actually happens?

Guests are pre-screened via application. Once accepted, they’re welcomed with hugs, herbal tea, and cacao in a luxurious space — sometimes a rooftop in Berlin, sometimes a jungle villa in Thailand. No two parties are exactly the same, but the vibe is consistent: think tantra tools, connection games, shared vulnerability, soft lighting, and no hard sells.

After about 90 minutes of nervous-system-friendly warmups (consent exercises, verbal desire mapping, eye gazing if you’re feeling bold), the room opens into "open play." That could mean cuddling, experimenting with sensation play, trying on some rope, or simply watching from the sidelines in a fluffy robe while sipping tea.

There may be wax. There might be spanking. There’s often dancing and naked swimming, too. It just depends on the night and the people in the room.

"When you take penile penetration off the table, people get creative. They actually have to be present."

The parties are completely sober, which adds an extra layer of vulnerability. And yes, that makes the arousal feel very real. The facilitators — all women — are trained in trauma awareness and somatic therapy. They don’t just float around looking ethereal; they actively hold the container, support guests through emotion or trigger responses, and model how boundaries and desire can coexist.

Not a sex party. But not not erotic.

There’s no goal of orgasm. No race to "go all the way." And yet, the space hums with a charge that can feel more intimate than any full-swap party. Brittnee calls it "organic ecstasy" — oxytocin-fueled, community-held euphoria that doesn’t rely on penetrative scripts or performance pressure.

People laugh, cry, flirt, and connect. Sometimes they meet their future partners. Sometimes they just feel seen for the first time in years.

Femme energy, by design.

The event is open to all genders, orientations, and bodies. But the container is intentionally held by women. Brittnee and her all-femme team (affectionately called "the angels") create a space where pleasure doesn’t need to be performative, and softness is taken seriously.

"We’re not anti-kink or anti-men," she says. "We’re just pro-safety and pro-slow."

That energy shift is exactly why many FET members might want to attend. Especially those used to harder scenes or party environments where intimacy can get lost in the mix.

"I’ve had people from the kink scene tell me it was more vulnerable to come to one of my parties than to a full-on dungeon event. Because you have to show up as yourself. No substances. No roles to hide behind."

From religious repression to global connection

Brittnee didn’t grow up in this world. She was raised in a strict Jehovah’s Witness community in Sacramento and married at 18 to the first man she ever dated. Her first orgasm? An accident. Her divorce? Forbidden. Her exit? Total exile.

When she left, she lost everyone she knew — family, friends, entire community. So she left the U.S., moved to Costa Rica, and built a new life from scratch. What started as legal remote work soon evolved into entrepreneurship, global travel, and eventually, a deep dive into trauma healing, tantra, somatic therapy, and sexual empowerment.

She now splits her time between Thailand, Berlin, and L.A., hosting events that feel like magic carpets for the nervous system.

Want in?

Most people hear about the parties through word-of-mouth. There’s no flashy marketing, no open invites. Just community, consent, and curated chaos (the soft kind).

Brittnee dreams of expanding to more cities, offering courses online, and building a global network of people who know how to communicate their boundaries and desires like pros.

"It’s not about being open or poly or kinky or monogamous. It’s about being honest. And learning what turns you on in the process."

Follow Brittnee Bond and FET on Instagram