Masochism

For kinky people into masochism

It's not uncommon - especially in the kinky world - for someone to process pain as pleasure, and to crave sensations a little rougher and more intensive than are usually considered the norm. These people are often called 'masochists', and while it's important to remember that the word isn't synonymous with 'submissive' (not all masochists enjoy psychological submission, and not all subs are particularly interested in physical pain!) the two often go hand in hand and each category has traits in common with the other. Masochists are the opposite number to sadists, who enjoy inflicting consensual physical pain just as much as their masochistic partners enjoy receiving it.

What is masochism?

Deriving pleasure from pain or from the process of bearing pain, masochists really enjoy being hurt in a variety of ways.

How do you know if you’re a masochist?

If you enjoy pain you could well be a masochist. It doesn’t matter how high your pain threshold is, if you can take a whipping or not, you define what you are. If you identify as a masochist, then that’s what you are. Masochism is a love of pain, not specific types or amounts of pain.

Is masochism safe?

It is important to know your limits, masochists enjoy pain and may push their own boundaries but be sure to always play within safe BDSM risk aware boundaries. If your masochistic desires worry you or you feel out of control talk to a medical professional. Otherwise, enjoy all the painful pleasure.

Are all masochists submissive?

No, not all masochists identify as submissive. Some do, but just because you enjoy pain doesn’t mean you want to submit. You can be a bottom to receive pain, without having to be submissive. You can also incorporate your masochism into primal play. This kind of fighting approach means you’re likely to be hurt but without necessarily giving up dominance.

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For the dominant sadist kinkster

A sadist is someone who derives sexual pleasure from causing pain to their partners - and assuming that everything is consensual and has been negotiated in advance - they can be in high demand amongst the people who love to be on the receiving end (masochists). There are plenty of different kinds of sadism, but they all thrive on one thing: the giving of consensual and well-desired pain. While many sexual sadists are also D/s dominants, this isn't a universal truth; some people are in it for the physical sensations alone without all the mind games, while others are submissives but find that they have a bit of a sadist streak on top.

For lovers of sweet pain

Pain isn't just painful - it can be sexy, too. Masochists are the most obvious example of this; they're people who find pleasure in receiving pain, often in quite large quantities. You don't need to daydream about welts and bruises to enjoy the sexual benefits of pain, though - light spanking, gentle scratching and other milder forms of sensation play can provide even the most nervous of newbies with an introduction to the feelings and help them figure out what they are and aren't interested in trying. For anyone with a little more of a feeling for it, a wide variety of implements are a fantastic way to explore your boundaries and figure out what gets you going.

Safety, consent and respect for boundaries

There's more than one 'official' definition of what the letters in BDSM stand for, and plenty of people don't agree on their exact usage! However you use the term, though, it's a catch-all way of describing a whole bunch of kinks and fetishes that are more common than many people imagine: bondage and impact play, sadism and masochism, domination and submission. Safety, consent and respect for boundaries are all key in the practice of BDSM, and it's vital to negotiate properly with your partners before getting into anything heavy-handed. Thankfully it's not so hard to learn - most places around the world have their own BDSM communities that are only too happy to take in newbies and help them learn the ropes.