Am I wrong, or am I just broken

[fe****]

I’ve never had an orgasm from a bj… I get so uncomfortable about coming and can’t wrap my head around the idea that gagging while having a load shot damn near directly into your stomach can be enjoyable ….this has created a mental situation where I almost rather turn down an offer for one than have another woman feel as if I’m not enjoy it or that it anything other then ME and my inability to grasp the idea that the pleasure is only on the receiving side…. Which I know to not be he case as I can easily orgasm from my eating pussy….if it’s my favorite thing am I broken….

Please convince me that pleasure is not exclusive to the receiving side of sucking dick so nobody else is the victims of the “is it me Am I not enough” feeling….

[LasVegasMaster]

A friend of mine is looking for a single cuckhold in Las Vegas to have a legitimate relationship with. Anyone fit the description lmk. She described it as someone that has no interest in having sex and watches her having sex with others. She likes that there is no jealousy or cheating….

[Ba****]

You have said logically you know the answer to this as, when the roles are reversed, you don’t have the same issue. I’m not sure what you want anyone to say. It’s ok not to get blowjobs if they make you uncomfortable

[Je****]

i don’t really know the answer to that but i will say that as a woman who is bisexual, i’ve learned that we get off from giving head, me personally it’s my favorite especially if i got it first so to give back id do it for them as well, not all of us like to have the guys cum in our mouths tho ( i do though) but it’s not everyone’s favorite. i hope that helps a tad bit if not i hope you get your answer to that soon so you can figure out where to go from there, good luck 🙂

[Treyway666]

Bro honestly... have you had good head before. Because imma be honest good head will have you solely thinking on the feeling. But if not that then my man's you in your head way to much can't enjoy shit when you actively thinking the opposite. It's like trying to get hard when you thinking of th eine time you couldn't. Just don't mix

[Oc****]

As BackrubsNBruises stated, there's not wrong with turning down something that makes you uncomfortable.

Pleasure is absolutely not exclusive to the receiving side of sucking, to directly answer.

It sounds to me like you are very empathic. It's ok for you to but enjoy certain activities because of how you feel ☺️

[Ch****]

You dont need to 'finish' in the mouth, build up to it if it's really what you want the end goal to be. If you really arnt that into it then always 'finish' somewhere else, just enjoy what's happening beforehand x x

[Fa****]

You’re not (permanently) broken, not if you don’t want to be.

This will hurt, and likely be an “unpopular” opinion, although just maybe less so in this milieu.

It should help you, whenever you allow yourself to accept it.

I am now aged 51, I am a man.

I used to be like you, i understand.

All that, notwithstanding…you are, to put it gently…overcorrecting.

Your overwrought by the thought of “using” a woman.

At all.

Good, we need more men like you.

Here’s where it gets slightly uncomfortable.

You are, out of ignorance NOT malice, exemplifying (with a twist) what a president (whom I apparently judged too harshly in retrospect) -

“The soft bigotry of low expectations”.

I’ll try to keep it simple, you can dm me if you want to talk more in-depth or privately.

Just because YOU can’t imagine enjoying sucking you off and not coming up for air DOES NOT MEAN she feels ANY particular way (on a spectrum between your revulsion and the most hyperbolic caricature of a “cum-crazed sex bot”.

You don’t know, because you haven’t asked.

I was lucky enough to stumble across an angel named Amy, we attended university together.

Always felt like she was out of my league…but somehow we ended up together for a summer.

She loved sucking cock. She just did. Period.

I had to get her a glass of water, and hold on. That was all.

I felt mortified…just as you describe. Every woman I’d been with to that point had survived past *** or ***.

To a one, they did not enjoy sucking cock. Varying degrees, but yeah, no.

Until Amy. She just loved it…I was BAFFLED, and didn’t believe her.

The guilt.

I was just sure, positive I was re-traumatizing her. Perpetrating.

She sat me down, and told me that she just loved the power it gave her.

Power. She got power from sucking me off and not pulling back. She’d have eaten my soul if she could have.

She convinced me.

Amy taught me to ask. At least if I’m uncertain or uncomfortable.

She taught me to respect her enough to trust she knew what she liked and wanted and would have.

I didn’t understand how on earth sucking me off made her feel powerful…not for years and years.

But l, you know what?

I learned to be sensitive, open, communicate, and ask if I was legit concerned.

Otherwise, I needed to show her the respect of believing that Amy knew what Amy wanted, and I better listen up.

She liked sucking dick MORE than you like eating pussy, cuz she didn’t feel guilty about any of it.

Let yourself up off the mat. Be open and enjoy yourself.

It’s ok to be a man…some women…lots, well…they want more than you’re giving.

[Fa****]

Hope I don’t get banned, said in love and not edited…wanted to be real with you, gl dude

[Fa****]

1 hour ago, Jewels20 said:

i don’t really know the answer to that but i will say that as a woman who is bisexual, i’ve learned that we get off from giving head, me personally it’s my favorite especially if i got it first so to give back id do it for them as well, not all of us like to have the guys cum in our mouths tho ( i do though) but it’s not everyone’s favorite. i hope that helps a tad bit if not i hope you get your answer to that soon so you can figure out where to go from there, good luck 🙂

Nailed it. Well said 💚

[Ne****]

Oral sex doesn’t need be part of things. If it’s something YOU want to be able to relax and enjoy, that’s another matter. Not everyone enjoys giving fellatio. Not everyone enjoys receives fellatio. Not something to fix if there isn’t some sort of trauma from which to be healed.
Energy exchange / Power dynamic aside, I get zero from performing fellatio or any other act wherein I am not also engaged, and also, conversely, receiving oral pleasure isn’t my thing either as my mind isn’t engaged enough and is rather be doing other (sexual) things.

In summation, YOU may just be someone who isn’t into it. 🤷🏻‍♂️ Nothing broken or dysfunctional about that. If you’re wanting to know how to be cool with receiving, you’ll have to explore that for yourself for the most part. I highly recommend the appropriate therapy, reading more on the subject from reputable sources (books on psychology, sexuality, and such.)
Trusted partners with whom you’ve developed a solid trust and whom know the issue are perhaps paramount.

[Te****]

I can only speak for myself but I was always worried that I would hurt or make my partner uncomfortable. My last partner and I talked it through. We discussed if I suddenly started thrusting into her mouth or shot my load how she'd react. She basically put my mind at rest and we were able to have some fun times. My latest is a non monogamous BJ giver of considerable experience and she wants my seed in her mouth and throat. Just knowing that takes the brakes off and allows me to relax and get into the right head space. Hope this helps but discussion is key!

[Rt****]

Not liking BJs led to my relationship falling apart hahaha. I think in retrospect, I know why I didn't like them, but people used to look at me like I had two heads when I told them i wasn't into receiving oral, going down on women myself gets me off though, so I totally understand your position.
Do you think it's in relation to ds dynamics rather than sensation? Like, the act of submitting is what you enjoy, as opposed to feeling like you're on top when relieving a bj.

[Ho****]

"Am I broken" makes me sad. You are not broken because of your preferences. There's no rules about what activities we have to enjoy or not enjoy, isn't that the point of a fetish site?

Maybe when someone offers, get them to talk about why they want to. Not just "I love doing it" but what exactly they love about it. Details. Apart from being hot for you to listen to, you'll see their enthusiasm as they think about the experience from their point of view. Or if you get the sense that they aren't keen on it for its own sake, just wanting to be kind, you get to choose to say no. Sounds like an unwilling partner in this is a hard limit for you. Knowing that consciously makes it your *choice* when you accept an offer, not something you go along with out of politeness (or whatever it is, you know what I mean).

By reassuring yourself that this isn't something you're imposing on someone else but genuinely a gift that you're accepting graciously, I'm confident you'll begin to enjoy it. Attaboy.

[NW****]

I'm similar. I absolutely love receiving oral, but I've never once been able to cum from it and for similar reasons.

[adrenalina75]

People suck cock because they either enjoy it, or they want to give the other person pleasure, or both. That’s all. It’s simple.

[th****]

I didn't until I was 30 and all of a sudden a switch flipped. I never found out what changed but something just did. Hope it happens for you!

[cr****]

As a female that loves to give oral it’s definitely not only that you’re enjoying the act but being able to reach the peak is a major turn on.
I love my partner to cum from receiving oral. It’s very empowering to be responsible for their pleasure.
If you’re uncomfortable with cuming in their mouth then maybe have an open conversation of where they would prefer it. They may enjoy seeing it on their chest,face or mouth to spit or swallow. Each person is different and should enjoy each aspect of the shared experience.

[Ro****]

You. Are. Not. Broken.
Everybody is different. My ex partner had only ever gotten off once from a bj in his 42 years of life, and that one time was the first time and ge hated how it made him feel (bad for the woman receiving down her throat). I can't get off from oral cause I'm roo self conscious, and there's nothing wrong with that. Being so hard on yourself and getting stuck in your head is understandable, but it's not needed. You are perfect the way you are. If your partner can't accept that, then they aren't right for you.

[ch****]

I cum while sucking dick frequently!

[Fa****]

1 hour ago, adrenalina75 said:

People suck cock because they either enjoy it, or they want to give the other person pleasure, or both. That’s all. It’s simple.

Science 💥💥💥

[Go****]

I used to fall into that category of men who have been beaten down by some women to believe that this is a disgusting act. How good any woman ever enjoy giving men head and certainly how could they ever enjoy having a big old load shot in their mouth or down their throat. I was still able to cum when they did it with the thought that this was a service they were doing for me... It was an act of service, something they were doing that was special for me. So mentally you can see how that could feel good. Then along the way I ended up being with many ladies who actually love giving head and with many ladies who love taking a mountains load in their mouth and down their throat. But the main thing I want to say to you is something that one of my more recent lady friends said to me. Daddy, why is it so hard for you to believe that I love giving you head when you love going down on me so much? That one simple statement took something that was convoluted and focused in on the craziness of our assumption. This girl would actually cum while giving me head. And this whole thing ***d me to reconsider the whole thought process. First of all we should not be judgmental of what anyone likes or doesn't dislike. That is their own feelings. If you notice in the area here on f e t in the area where it says the kings that you like and the kings you want to try, one of those is cum fetish. This is not a person who not only would willingly take your load simply to make you feel good, but women who love a man's cum and get off on it. So in addition to accepting other people's opinions on what they like and don't like, realize that there are a spectrum of people that range from they will never allow come in their mouth all the way over to they wanted constantly. My suggestion to you for now would be to find somebody who has a cum fetish so that you can relax long enough to overcome your mental block. Remember they don't have to have specified that on their profile, So just because it's not there it doesn't mean that they're not comfortable taking your load. You might consider putting on your profile that you're looking for someone who enjoys pleasing a man orally, that way it could prompt a conversation when somebody does contact you. In the end, I just wanted to really let you know that just because you can't see the value in something doesn't mean that others don't. Don't assume that because you think it would be horrible that they feel the same way. Communication is the key to you overcoming your mental block. What I've written above is simply my opinion and not intended to say what is right or what is wrong. It was written with no intent to cause anyone to be offended and if it did so, you have my apologies upfront. I hope that my opinions sparked a thought process which attributed positively to the conversation. Thank you

[no****]

I've never came from a BJ either, but I'm sure there is someone out there that could make it happen. I pre cum a lot though, especially when eating pussy

[Br****]

I have the same thing happen with me. I enjoy it at first but eventually I'll just lose my erection.

[ph****]

I love pleasing my husband in any way he choices it’s a huge turn on for me especially when he’s verbally telling me how good it feels while I’m giving him oral so yes it’s a huge turn on for me when my husband can finish in my mouth. What I would do while your getting a BJ is inform her your about to come that way she has a choice if she wants you to finish in her mouth or otherwise I’m thinking it will help you with your thought process if she choices to keep going that on her not you xox