Subspace

[tdude0317]

I am relatively new to BDSM and have never actually experienced anything other than porn and forums like this, I have seen multiple comics that are based around BDSM that mention something called subspace. I have a general idea of what it is based on context but I would like to get an accurate description. If anybody knows what subspace is could you please tell me?

[ey****]

Subspace is generally a form of 'high' which can occur during play - particularly (but not exclusive to) *** or impact play when the body releases endorphins to fight the *** and these can create the high.

But, there can be other varieties, the last time I was in any form of subspace was during a foot worship scene and that was likely due to a mixture of being relaxed and endorphins being released from the pleasure of doing something I really enjoy.

[CaddyGirl-3458]

I am actually very curious of this as well. So is it more like a hypnotic state or more of a euphoric high?

[Deleted Member]

It is a euphoric high. I have induced it on a Submissive through nothing but words, and I even included it in a story I recently wrote. Essentially it is the climax, the highest state of sexual enjoyment. Some people experience it easily, others struggle to find the headspace. The most important part is being able to identify it, so that you can deal with the sub drop afterwards.

[ey****]

it's a high - but - like any high can have an effect on your mental state.  

It's why it's important to not try to seek consent after play has started.   Although, some do use subspace to (consensually) push/test limits. 

[Deleted Member]

I go into subspace through words and the way a person speaks to me quite quickly, and can stay there for some time (two or three days being the longest). Took me a long time to notice when it was happening, but I sense it straight away now. It's blissful but also a very *** state to be in as my focus is entirely on serving my Dominant, pleasing him. It's easy for someone to *** that. I'll also feel more *** if I sense that person doesn't have my care and protection at heart. 

Drop is a bitch. Again, that takes time to get used to. I can prepare for it now and have my self-care routines in place to deal with it. Too many Doms lack awareness of this and think the scene is over when you physically leave, but it's not. 

[Deleted Member]

In the simplest terms, it's a drug. The brain produces natural opioids. So if you've ever taken opiates, it's like that. And you're gonna have a come-down, which isn't always nice. 

[Deleted Member]

I’ve been fortunate enough to have experienced both subspace and topspace. Both have been for me equally intense, but in very different ways. I’m sure that the endorphins produced by my body have played a part both times, and in both experiences, it took about four days for the natural high to wear off, and about a week for me to actually return to a normal state of mind.

In topspace I’ve had an enlarged and heightened sense of power, control and mastery, which has led to a feeling of intense pleasure and almost drugged up state of being. This has actually led to an out of body experience where I imagined I was in a position somewhere around the ceiling of the room that I was in, looking down upon myself and my partner at the time of our play session. It was truly bizarre at the time and I really didn’t understand it. I just knew that the feeling was absolutely incredible, intense and beyond anything I’d ever experienced before.

In subspace, I have experienced a feeling of utter abandonment, the total ceding of control and the giving up of the mastery of my own body. The feeling of ecstasy has been total and complete. At different times, the intensity of this has varied, ranging from minor to massive, but each time, there is a certain state of mind that is almost “out of body”, the feeling of having completely left your own reality and entered that of an unknown third person looking down upon yourself. Definitely an altered state of consciousness.

The return from topspace to normality was without unusual incident. However, the return from subspace to normality has always been accompanied by violent shivering, a feeling of extreme coldness, an irresistible feeling of wanting to vocalise appreciation and thanks for the experience, an intense need to be physically held tightly, and an overwhelming desire to have skin on skin contact with cuddling and embracing of one’s playmate.

In topspace, the session has always concluded with climax and ejaculation on my part, but in subspace it has never concluded with this. Nevertheless, the feelings have been just as intense, if very different, in both experiences.

I think it’s really important to realise that both female and male persons, as well as those who don’t identify with any specific gender, with partners of any gender, can experience both of these states (and probably others in between that I haven’t experienced yet) and that for everybody, the experience is going to be different. It’s not better or worse, greater or lesser, just different. Many people will experience something that’s very similar to that which others have experienced, but some people will not be able to identify with the description given by others about the experiences they’ve had. It’s all just goes to prove how very different we are as human beings and how our physiology, psychology and sexuality all go to completely shape the experiences that we have in ways that are unique to ourselves. There is no more or less validity in any particular experience.

for me, this level of intensity of experience can only be reached by playing with someone who you have a true connection with. This connection needs to be mental, emotional and physical, before it can become sexual. but of each of these four elements I would say the most important is the emotional connection. Deep emotional connection leads to a state of mind that is receptive to your partner’s needs and therefore you’re more likely, in my opinion, to reach that magical place of subspace or top space, depending upon your preference.

 

[Deleted Member]

Drop. Sub drop. Some people experience this. I do not. I never reach that state of feeling low after the high. I just “return to normal”. Which probably means that I’m not high maintenance! But after-care is in my opinion a really important part of all of this. I believe that real proper after-care involves a lot of physical contact, talking, communication, massage, blankets if necessary, hot baths, hot showers taken together, all of these and more. Surely, it’s no good having an amazing play session and then leaving your partner in a state of utter wrecked-ness due to insufficient after-care. Caring and sharing and loving and feeling is all important, in my opinion.

[Vandalslut]

5 hours ago, Fredddy said:

Drop. Sub drop. Some people experience this. I do not. I never reach that state of feeling low after the high. I just “return to normal”.

I  'free fall' into subspace very rapidly. For me it's a void where any dark delight can manifest.The Vandal kisses my lips in a special way - as if in a ritual - and that's it, I'm gone! I'm his, I'll do anything, take anything for him. There's a sensation of my soul having left my body, yet still connected to it by a silver cord. I don't experience sub-drop either and I can take a day or so to gradually 'come back to earth'. Our aftercare is a glass of good red,  dark chocolate and cuddles on the couch in front of a comedy film. When we do go to bed  - to sleep! - we curl up together again. Mega, mega-satisfactory...

 

On 1/26/2020 at 2:16 PM, Caddygirl said:

I am actually very curious of this as well. So is it more like a hypnotic state or more of a euphoric high?

I believe it can be either.

[CaddyGirl-3458]

Thank you all so much for explaining this in great detail I might add. I found it and your experiences to be extremely interesting & very fascinating. I had recently read on a blog someone who was getting hypnotized by her partner  before every sexual encounter so I was trying to understand the difference in your mindspace and if they were similar or not. 

While I am relativly new in starting on my journey to seek my "true" sexual being and just learn more about myself I have to tell you all this has been one of the best sites I have been on.  So many are non judgemental and the amount of people willing to help me and explain things has really been amazing. I think a lot of this stuff and the people who participate, enjoy, & live it are very misunderstood. Just my opinion. Anyway, thank you all again for explaining.

 

 

 

 

 

[Wo****]

7 hours ago, Vandalslut said:

I  'free fall' into subspace very rapidly. For me it's a void where any dark delight can manifest.The Vandal kisses my lips in a special way - as if in a ritual - and that's it, I'm gone! I'm his, I'll do anything, take anything for him. There's a sensation of my soul having left my body, yet still connected to it by a silver cord. I don't experience sub-drop either and I can take a day or so to gradually 'come back to earth'. Our aftercare is a glass of good red,  dark chocolate and cuddles on the couch in front of a comedy film. When we do go to bed  - to sleep! - we curl up together again. Mega, mega-satisfactory...

 

I believe it can be either.

I'm the same. I sink fast, and deep.

With my LDR it's the way he strokes my spine.

With Pirate it's a look, he gets a glint in his eye.

 

Subspace, for me, is like being in another dimension. I'm not aware of anything except that i am safe. To feel. I don't know how to explain it. It's like being totaĺly consumed by emotion, in a good way. Love the description of your soul being connected by a silver cord! I do get sub drop, anything from minutes to hours to days later. Pirate looks out for it, i look out for it and we talk through it and he gives me all the attention i need and ensures i take care of myself.

The aftercare and snuggles afterwards are just as important as the playing.

[Deleted Member]

I think that just to be clear and not to cause confusion, we are talking about two different types of drop here, aren’t we?
The first is the “fall” into subspace itself. The descent into that place where ecstasy happens and you lose your sense of reality. Your consciousness becomes altered and you are lost in the moment. For me, this happens fairly quickly also. I wouldn’t say it’s a freefall, but it’s certainly a very rapid descent. This is exciting and a thrilling ride for me. I always remember this part.

The second drop is often what people refer to when they are talking about the come down from the euphoric high that they’ve enjoyed. for me this has three distinct phases. The first phase is coming back into the room, which can take 15 to 30 minutes after a play session has concluded and the after-care session begins. The second phase is that incredible endorphin high that you were left on for a significant time afterwards. For me this lasts up to 4 days. Normal life function is all okay, but you feel that you’re still in a really good place for ages! The third phase for me is the two or three days after this one finally the endorphins are wearing off in your body and you are returning to truly a “normal” state.

Well that’s my experience of it, anyway. I just thought it might be a bit confusing when people are talking about “dropping” into subspace and then the “sub-drop” afterwards. Two completely different things, obviously.