Why Kink is Good for You: Unexpected BDSM Benefits

Those tricks you learn inside the bedroom - or dungeon - can transform your life. We take a look at four BDSM benefits and what they do for you.

We’re far from done with social stigma against BDSM and kink communities, but things are certainly better than they used to be. We’re starting to see research suggesting that practitioners are no more likely to be mentally ill than the general population. Indeed, one of the chief unexpected BDSM benefits may, in fact, be enthusiasts are somewhat more mentally healthy on average. This didn’t feel like news for me. For ten years now, I’ve been seeing the ways that kink is good for you over and over again, both in my own life and in the lives of those around me.

Reminders of your strength, bravery and resilience

Coming to the other side of a difficult scene is a powerful, exhilarating feeling. I’ve taken beatings that have left me with a wide smattering of deep bruises for weeks afterwards or given me trouble sitting down for the next few days. I can sure as hell handle going to the dentist even though it freaks me out.

BDSM benefits me by helping to identify which of my limits are things I’d like to overcome rather than things I genuinely have no interest in. Then I work through those limits with a partner, to the point where I actively enjoy something that once terrified me. There’s no reason to think I can’t stand up to a patronising dickhead behaving like a bully in a social context. Knowing what I’m capable of has been tremendously healthy and helpful for me.

Healthy communication - one of the biggest BDSM benefits

When your sex life involves delving into dark psychological spaces on a regular basis, it’s vital that you’re in frequent communication with your partner. You need to know that they genuinely do respect you, for one thing. Moreover, you need to be sure that you’re communicating with your partner effectively and continually about the workings of your sex life.

Communication naturally spills over into all other aspects of your relationship, too. The BDSM life is one in which partners talk to each other openly, honestly, freely and clearly. Excellent communication does you good both inside and outside the bedroom.

Benefits of BDSM for a woman in bondage rope
One of the BDSM benefits is coping with ***.

Reading others

One of the BDSM benefits that grew over time is that I’ve dramatically improved my ability to read people and respond to subtle signals. I’ve had relationships where I could tell what someone wanted me to do next just from the way they tilted their chin.

When I’m deep in subspace with someone I know well, I instinctively know exactly how to communicate my comfort and tolerance level to them without having to say a word. Stuff like this doesn’t just make you better at giving a stellar blowjob. It also gives you transferable skills that are useful in all manner of social situations, from parties to boardrooms. We talk a lot about the undeniable benefits of talking to your partner as much as possible, but non-verbal communication skills are just as valuable.

Coping with ***

I’ve developed some techniques that let me process *** and discomfort like a pro. I’m not necessarily a masochist in the classical sense, which is to say that my threshold for experiencing *** as directly enjoyable pleasure is relatively low most of the time. But I sure as hell like to receive a sound beating. Consequently, my *** processing techniques are pretty solid.

The useful thing about BDSM benefits is that they’re often directly transferable to other situations - like getting a tattoo or struggling to the end of a challenging workout. They’re neat tricks to learn, and they come in handy more often than you might imagine!

Abi Brown is a freelance writer and general pen-for-hire devoted to sexual deviancy, far-left politics and wearing too much jewellery.