Vacations in Sexual Subspace

Subspace is a state like no other, offering a temporary holiday from the harsh realities of life. But what joys and dangers can you expect to encounter? While sexual subspace is about being free to explore reality from an altered perspective, it's also a place where the mundane doesn’t exist, argues writer Sienna Saint-Cyr.

Subspace is a word that circles most BDSM events and parties, yet there is no real definition of what it means. The word "dropping" often goes with it, and I find it helpful to use the words in connection to one another because for me dropping into subspace means being in an altered state of consciousness. One where my inhibitions are lowered, and I’m entirely open to my Dom—connected to him on the deepest and most intuitive level.

How do you know when you've entered subspace?

There are few things hotter than watching a submissive's breath deepen, pupils dilate, and her body swaying as if drunk. Whether it’s from hair pulling, a cheek slap, or a cane across her ass, these visual cues mean she’s just entered subspace.

Sexual subspace is a delicious state of consciousness where inhibitions are lowered, and the connection between submissive and Dom/Domme is at its strongest. This altered state opens the potential for healing, shifting perspectives, or even a simple journey away from mundane life.

What are the sensations?

While in sexual subspace, there might be fifty people in a room around me. Yet all I see and feel and hear is my Dominant. In this state, my pupils dilate, and often my eyes will roll to the back of my head. Furthermore, my responses to normal stimuli shift. One sub I’ve witnessed in subspace likes to have her eyes and ears covered while dropped. This is because she becomes hypersensitive in this state. She’s overly responsive to everyone around. However, I’m the exact opposite and only feel my Dom. So each sub is different with his or her reaction to being in subspace.

When I’m dropped by my Dom, it’s like taking the sweetest vacation from myself. My worries and ***s fade, and my *** transmutes into pleasure. I get to shine from my innermost place of beauty, one that is untouched by societal standards and norms. I quite literally have not a care in the world. Reasons for wanting to enter in sexual subspace vary. Dropping a sub is a great way to lessen his or her stress, or to make a person feel something physically without being touched. A Dom/Domme might shift the sub’s perspective around an area of struggle, or in my case, transmute my *** into pleasure by simply suggesting that my *** feels good.

Sexual subspace: woman tied and blindfolded
Sexual subspace feels different to everyone.

The dangers of subspace

The danger of sexual subspace is that when I’m there, I lose all concept of time. Indeed, hours can pass, and it feels like twenty minutes. I don’t have control of what’s happening, so I need to trust my Dom completely for this transcendence to be possible. My Dom must maintain control the entire time lest disaster strike. Because being in subspace is akin to being drunk. So while it’s beneficial and great fun, there are definite safety issues to take into account. The sub must be cared for until they’ve completely come back up or returned to normal consciousness.

Being in subspace is like taking a vacation from all the things we despise about ourselves. It offers a break from the things that make us unhappy and cause anxiety. We can exist as whatever we want to be in this place whether that means being pampered by my Dom, a gurl experiencing extreme *** or something else entirely.

Experiences of sexual subspace differ

When I asked what others thought about visiting subspace, they had this to say:

“I like subspace because for me it is hard work making decisions and being in charge, even of myself sometimes. And I can't ever let go of anxiety, feeling I am ‘supposed’ to be doing something better than what I am already doing. When someone else tells me I am not allowed to make those choices, it means I can't make those judgments about myself. And that means everything is ok. It means someone else has it covered. That I don't have to make sure everything is being done that needs to be done.” – FetLife user metamorph

“Things go blissfully quiet from the everyday noise in your head. Every decision we make leads to noise... ‘Did I make the right decision, was it the right time, should I have eaten that?' I crave subspace most when I'm really busy in my everyday life, or when I'm depressed for whatever reason. Just the ability to not think makes me crave vacationing into subspace.” – my submissive in training, Ginger Fett

No matter who I asked, the reasons for desiring subspace seem to align. It’s usually to get away from everyday life. To let go of control. It’s complete freedom from making decisions and finding reasons for self-judgment.

Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating.