Abandoned by a Dom.

[Kezzy26]

So where to start, My Dom and I were quite intense with our chats and quickly started a relationship cos we clicked, chatting every day saying good morning, good night even I love you but over the weekend we were in a hotel on our second physical meeting and about half way through he left with no explanation as to why and has blocked me on every platform we chatted on.

What I want to know is how do you deal with the abandonment issues that have been left behind. I've been used then pushed a side by partners in the past and this has triggered a lot for me. Especially with no explanation so I internalise the whys and what if's...

[Deleted Member]

We pick ourselves up and we move on even though it seems like the hardest thing in the world to do. I’ve suffered rejection and it hurts. It prompts us to assume it’s all our fault. We wonder what we did wrong. It took me a long time to realise it’s not my fault, in the same way that it’s not yours. Try not to overthink everything. If we go down that rabbit hole, it can be hard to climb out.

[Sc****]

Kezzy26. As a Dom I have stressed to my subs the importance of honest open communication yet my latest is just the same .All was finethen suddenly no responses and after un replied messages on 2 platforms I was blocked . As a Dom I just give no second chances , it's her loss but always wonder what reasoning invokes this behavior . It's very rude both as Dom or sub we are all kinksters and the communication is paramount

[Ch****]

Looking at your profile it says your are married, that might have something to do with it if he didn't know

[ia****]

It could be many reasons why he left, personal or whatever they may be, just remember that your intrinsic value was not dependent on his being there, im sure it hurt even more because you guys connected so well, but I know you'll find a Dom that will appreciate your company

[TimberTara]

You’re not gonna find out why it doesn’t matter and it’s good. He left you now because obviously he’s not a nice person you have to move on and hope for the best.

[Cu****]

I’m sure you appreciate that the abandonment can have been for very many reasons, and so you may never know the truth about why this happened. How trusting was the connection in the first place? Was he as open and honest about himself, as you were to him about yourself? Was he just a one hit wonder, and never intended for the relationship to go beyond what was effectively, one meet? To blank you and abandon you, suggests he’d possibly been somehow caught out by a wife, a gf, or other connection and, unbeknown to you, worked everything with you, around his other commitments. To deal with the issues, you are already doing so by opening up, talking about what’s troubled your mind. Try not to blame yourself for what happened. He sounds to have been the one at fault. Try and exercise, go for walks, go swimming, have time with your gfs or work colleagues, anything that gets you away from the negatives of a breakup. It’s not meant to sound flippant, but dwelling on the whys and what ifs, is just going to consume your thoughts and make you spend time on something that’s not worth your time. You’ve better things to concentrate on, new people to talk with, other far more important things to focus on. Kick the past experience in to touch, turn round and enjoy yourself with what matters to you.
If there’s a next time, take more time in vetting the male. Ask loads of open ended, easy questions, get inside their head and interrogate their answers, searching for red flags, or things that either don’t add up, or don’t match what’s already been said, and if you find anomalies in the details they send you, ask why. Why should you spend your time being honest and respectful, whilst they appear to mess you around by being economic with the truth, just they can use you as a “ little bit on the side”? You, are in charge of you. Take charge, and hold them to account, or dismiss, block and move on. Be yourself. Be unique. Be happy.

[Fi****]

Such a dick move. He is an asshole be happy to have himself removed.

[Vo****]

As you said it was your second actual meeting. It could have been something you discussed and he believed he'd be fine with, in actual practice he realized it wouldn't work. Doesn't mean he should have cut you off but he decided it wasn't what he thought. Example- just because someone gives 100% on a blow job doesn't mean it's the others cup of tea. Control and submission is the key.

[Bartmi1017]

He sounds like a dick
No reason to abandon someone in a hotel room with no explanation.

Atleast if you don’t click in person say you don’t click and go your separate ways but don’t just up sticks and fuckoff

[gr****]

1st, he’s no Dom.

[BruiseWayne]

It's unfortunate but this happens to a lot of us these days. I really don't know what it is, but people have gotten increasingly flaky and terrified of actually telling someone they don't think things are working out, so they just vanish like this. Who knows what the reason was. He could have been cheating on someone and finally felt the remorse or it could've been a 1000 other different things. At the end of the day it's usually not you or anything you did wrong. I know it's shitty but honestly the only thing you can really do is wait until you don't feel like crap about it any more then put yourself back out there because someone else wil almost certainly come along. Although having said all that this was a particularly creepy fucking thing to do to someone. You should actually consider yourself lucky because you dodged a bullet here. Anybody who's capable of doing some shit like this is probably a real disgusting person.

[Deleted Member]

Hear! Hear! Not your fault babe... just a boy playing at being a man

[Kezzy26]

1 hour ago, Chiana said:

Looking at your profile it says your are married, that might have something to do with it if he didn't know

He knew I was married, it's one of his kinks married women.

[Deleted Member]

I'm in my villain era so I'd be petty and create a new account simply to give them a piece of my mind (as several men on this site can attest to). It often leads to the ghoster realizing that the person that they ghosted is actually a human being with feelings and they apologize. Whether or not that I apology is genuine is another story. Either way I get my closure. Do whatever you need to do to make you feel whole but that guy is definitely a dick.

[Th****]

Hey, hope your ok x

[br****]

I've had the same happen to me. Every day talking, setting boundaries and then after agreement on everything we played in person. No explanation, I was blocked everywhere and never heard from her or saw her again. I didn't get upset about it, it was obviously not what she wanted so I just let it go and didn't care about it. That's all you can do. Don't let people get to you.

[Cl****]

I've felt the same myself. I wasn't blocked to my knowledge, but a new relationship ended abruptly with barely any chance at an explanation

[Deleted Member]

how long was your relationship @Kessy26? Try having to deal with that after 2 years - a few different circumstances but the same. Just give it time… i would recommend listening to meditation audios from YouTube to quiet your mind hun.

[27****]

Upon first glance and immediate thoughts i would say he has a secret life that was about to be exposed, just pure speculation though

[AKA_Copper]

You feel sad, but whilst feeling sad, you block them on every platform, and you forget about them and focus on yourself. You don't give them any opportunity to re-enter your life because, if they can behave like that, they are not someone that you give any degree of control over you.
.
To all the profiles commenting with 'hi/msg me', etc, approaching someone who is openly saying that they're feeling *** is a huge red flag.

[lo****]

The way I got over the sudden disappearance of a partner was to start working on yourself. by this, I mean talk to a professional. as well as find the things you're fixated on as issues and make it a non-issue. If you are upset about your job go out and find a better one, but don't make it this stressful thing. And just start making moves to make your life better one small Attainable, step at a time.

[Goodbicpl]

Happens to us all at some point. All fabulous then the bubble bursts and it’s like someone has ended your world.

But intense after 2 physical meets? See you say in your post you love this Don but profile says married. Is the Dom your husband?

[bi****]

As a dom that has been put in a situation where I almost abandoned my sub because of breaking rules/ negative play issues and it’s hard to explain but if your giving your attention and energy to a person that’s not receptive or enjoying themselves it puts both parties in a bad situation. I’ve been working with my sub and we are finding some ground to stand on but it doesn’t take much to remove the appeal and attraction if the vibe isn’t just rite. I know that doesn’t exactly answer but hopefully my opinion and experience can shine some light

[Kezzy26]

52 minutes ago, Goodbicpl said:

Happens to us all at some point. All fabulous then the bubble bursts and it’s like someone has ended your world.

But intense after 2 physical meets? See you say in your post you love this Don but profile says married. Is the Dom your husband?

No, the Dom wasn't my husband. He was my spark.