Too Much Denial

[Westernsky11]

How much denial is too much? Do Subs have limits on how long they can go without an orgasm/ how few orgasms they can have? What expectation should I have as a Dom?

[Mark88]

It's just a test for fun to have limits

[ey****]

yes. subs can have limits

though, it's important any mutually agreed limits are in line with both of your abilities, expectancies, flexibility and how you like to play.  Otherwise you're not compatible 

[Ch****]

Of course, subs have limits. Personally, one night is too much for me, but I went 12+ years without, so I'm making up for lost time. But frankly, don't set yourself up for disappointment by having expectations. Talk to any potential sub and ask them what they want/need and can stand.

[Sp****]

I think the question you’re asking is are there *physical* limits on how long a sub can go without orgasm, not necessarily “limits” in a D/s negotiation sense.

Physically, there are likely no ill effects caused by not orgasming for submissives . There is a school of thought that male submissives need to orgasm occasionally for prostate health, but milking/ruined orgasm will fit that bill.

Hope this helps.

[Ca****]

When I first started the cuckold lifestyle, my gf at the time was keen that I was in chastity . Initially it was just from the morning of the meeting until the morning after. Over time this time was extended and my limits slowly pushed until I was in chastity cage for three months at a time ( ignore supervised hygiene tasks)

[turret]

I think there’s a difference where if their is orgasm denial through not touching eg chastity then I don’t feel there are any health implications.. however if the person is allowed to masterbate or have their privates played with and orgasm denial is repeated in this case over a long period, there’s possible side effects .. I’ve certainly had ‘ball ache’ and nausea associated with this

[AKA_Copper]

5 hours ago, Spiral66 said:

I think the question you’re asking is are there *physical* limits on how long a sub can go without orgasm, not necessarily “limits” in a D/s negotiation sense.

Physically, there are likely no ill effects caused by not orgasming for submissives . There is a school of thought that male submissives need to orgasm occasionally for prostate health, but milking/ruined orgasm will fit that bill.

Hope this helps.

All limits, including those relating to orgasm denial, should be discussed within D/s negotiations.
Your first paragraph contradicts your second. I believe you meant that there's no physical effect upon *female* submissives, and that's simply untrue.
Even if it were true, we don't leave various kinks out of negotiation simply because the outcome isn't physical.
.
OP, how long is a bit of string? The only expectation you should have is to have open discussion with whomever you need to have that discussion with.

[Sp****]

21 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

All limits, including those relating to orgasm denial, should be discussed within D/s negotiations.
Your first paragraph contradicts your second. I believe you meant that there's no physical effect upon *female* submissives, and that's simply untrue.
Even if it were true, we don't leave various kinks out of negotiation simply because the outcome isn't physical.
.
OP, how long is a bit of string? The only expectation you should have is to have open discussion with whomever you need to have that discussion with.

I was just asserting that there are differences between medical “limitations” vs negotiated “limits”. I believe the OP was meaning are there any medical reasons that should restrict the length of orgasm denial. The answer to that is no. Limits on how long it should last based on particulars of a D/s arrangement should definitely be negotiated. But there’s no proven medical reason that dictates people of any gender “need” to orgasm.

[Westernsky11]

Spiral66 I am confused on whether I should set some limits. Some resources say that the Dom can set such limits. Others assert that it is a pure negotiation between sub and Dom. I do prefer the latter but not sure how to inquire when messaging someone. So it's good to know what the sub expects too.

[Westernsky11]

In case anyone is wondering, submissivesguide has an article detailing how a Dom set expectations for his sub. It was a "my way or the highway" kind of deal. Still negotiated upon and consented to. I can find the link if interested. I believe the author was Mrs Darling.

[al****]

My sub : it kinda takes you out of the overall sexual experience and shifts the focus to obedience. I personally have a very low limit to how long I can try to not cum. It's like a pressure builds and it doesn't really enhance it for me, I'd recommend thinking about like edging and doing math and how much you want to stump or control the flow. I'd say limit the control aspect to 2-3 and give free ones after as a reward. I'm very sensitive and cum easily, everyone is different ask your partner there thoughts and start kinda low irl get her used to it. It's not for everybody.

[di****]

My sub knows i control her orgasms it is based upon her following orders. We do long distance and her vanilla husband uses her 4x a week. She must work hard to satisfy him no fake orgasms. She has to beg often .

[xx****]

Proven medical need for orgasm. I would beg to differ. I believe there are established medical needs being eased when a person of either gender physically cums. And if you believe ones mental well being can fit into medically necessary, then absolutely. Cardio. Respiratory, circulatory, skeletal and musculotory. Do I have an answer on time line? That is a discussion needs be done before, then agreed to playtime begins.

[Westernsky11]

For the record I want my partner to cum. It's finding a balance between chastity and orgasms that I need to figure out.

[De****]

I think that’s going to be very dependent on each submissive. I know subs that any go weeks of play without orgasm, and they deeply enjoy it. For myself, I have gone two or three play sessions without being allowed to cum. I would highly recommend early communication with your sub and continued observation to see how they are handling it.

[De****]

Monday at 11:40 AM, Westernsky11 said:

Spiral66 I am confused on whether I should set some limits. Some resources say that the Dom can set such limits. Others assert that it is a pure negotiation between sub and Dom. I do prefer the latter but not sure how to inquire when messaging someone. So it's good to know what the sub expects too.

In my dynamic we practice orgasm control. I don’t come, ever, without permission. This includes self play, which im also not allowed to do without permission. We discussed that aspect of our dynamic and mutually agreed on it. So yes, I gave initial consent for him to control, but now he sets the limits. This is also an important part of safe words and with draw of consent. Safe words are often used mid play, but they can be utilized here as well. Outside of play if I said my safe word it would mean that I needed a momentary step out of our power exchange and at that point I could explain the the denial had gone of too long for my capabilities and needed to stop. As always, the sub chooses to give the control to their Dominant. The Dominant has that control (within prescribed boundaries) until it is rescinded.

[Westernsky11]

Friday at 09:58 AM, DenverKitten said:

In my dynamic we practice orgasm control. I don’t come, ever, without permission. This includes self play, which im also not allowed to do without permission. We discussed that aspect of our dynamic and mutually agreed on it. So yes, I gave initial consent for him to control, but now he sets the limits. This is also an important part of safe words and with draw of consent. Safe words are often used mid play, but they can be utilized here as well. Outside of play if I said my safe word it would mean that I needed a momentary step out of our power exchange and at that point I could explain the the denial had gone of too long for my capabilities and needed to stop. As always, the sub chooses to give the control to their Dominant. The Dominant has that control (within prescribed boundaries) until it is rescinded.

This is helpful. Thank you.

[di****]

A chasity belt can be helpful and add a remote control vibrator lovense.*om

[xx****]

If my sub is playful, they are allowed as many anal orgasms as can be managed. And for every eyebrow just raised, yes. There are. They do exist. But as for genital masturbation, strictly on my permission, and there had better have been an incredible pleading to grant such a thing. If my sub has used their safe word, then they are absolutely free to do as they wishe, until such time as she/he resubmits. When they does & we have discussed why the safeword was used, If I feel the usage was justified, all is good, and I will honor their reasonings and usage in the future as well.
If, however, I felt it was self serving and manipulative, then if we are to remain any type of dynamic at all, then, very severe punisments are up for discussion. As I have stated before, I do not tolerate deceipt or being "bratty"