Too young?

[Deleted Member]

What would you say is the youngest you would go with a sub, as 22yr old I often struggle to find someone older who’s interested ??

[Qu****]

I’m 56 and my sub is 24
Age is just a number - if you click, you click. It’s about who you are as people. Believe me, age has nothing to do with it.

[ey****]

for me - I'd look at attitude ahead of age.  

It doesn't matter what your age is if you come across entitled or wanting just a list of fetishes done you're going to struggle - but if you've taken time to learn and approached folk properly with understanding then you boost your chances.

Incidentally.  The youngest Domme I've played with was 23 (when I was 38) and youngest sub was 22/23 when I was 36.

(and, oldest - Domme : 51 /  sub - 70+) 

[BigPolly]

6 minutes ago, Queenie63 said:

I’m 56 and my sub is 24
Age is just a number - if you click, you click. It’s about who you are as people. Believe me, age has nothing to do with it.

Arghhhh I really struggle with someone being too young then I see how fantastic you 2 are & I think ‘I really should give it a go even if it’s just once’ 

My brain has a real block on anyone too young as I look for experience & could I really listen to someone so young giving instructions, giving them total control?!

If I was still a Domme maybe I could look at it differently. 

[Qu****]

43 minutes ago, BigPolly said:

Arghhhh I really struggle with someone being too young then I see how fantastic you 2 are & I think ‘I really should give it a go even if it’s just once’ 

My brain has a real block on anyone too young as I look for experience & could I really listen to someone so young giving instructions, giving them total control?!

If I was still a Domme maybe I could look at it differently. 

Thanks Polly, we do have a pretty amazing relationship. I’m very young at heart for my age and 🐝 isn’t your average 24 year old! He’s very mature so we kind of meet in the middle. I can’t explain it but it just works for us. 
I understand about your thinking that being younger may be less experienced and I can only speak from mine that it’s not always true.
Try it, as you say, even if it’s just once. You might be pleasantly surprised 😏😘

[Deleted Member]

Age is really just a number... it’s all about how someone feels. 
look at Cher for instance, she’s older than most of our grans yet she’s probably fitter than most women in their 20s... 

I don’t think that age really matters, it’s the mind that is key. 

[ey****]

3 hours ago, BigPolly said:

Arghhhh I really struggle with someone being too young then I see how fantastic you 2 are & I think ‘I really should give it a go even if it’s just once’ 

without going too left field - I was talking about 'try just once' earlier - and I feel there's no obligation to.   I think, hypothetically speaking, you could meet someone who is in the age bracket you'd consider 'too young' but the way they present themselves almost makes you forget about the age.

3 hours ago, BigPolly said:

My brain has a real block on anyone too young as I look for experience & could I really listen to someone so young giving instructions, giving them total control?!

and yep - there's a lot who are young and finding their feet and - fair does, but yeah I can see why not for everyone (and particularly in F/m there are some younger female Dominants whom older male 'subs' try to manipulate)

-

To get really sidetracked.   For some of last summer I spent a length of time being more interested in women who were older than me - say 40s/50s.   It kinda was an experience I was looking at as I felt (rightfully/wrongfully?) that most ladies I'd come over 40+ kinda had standards they wouldn't slip from and knew what they wanted and how to be happy with nobody rather than someone who didn't meet their standards - and there was something kinda hot in that; but some of that was possibly me and validation again ("if she has high standards and she wants to do stuff with me; that's a big approval") 

 

[MrBowtie]

Age is only a number. You could look at it like your video game character's experience level, however there are modifiers to raise your actual experience. Also everyone has to start somewhere, I'm one of those willing to take in a younger sub/slave to train.

[BigPolly]

19 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

It kinda was an experience I was looking at as I felt (rightfully/wrongfully?) that most ladies I'd come over 40+ kinda had standards they wouldn't slip from and knew what they wanted and how to be happy with nobody rather than someone who didn't meet their standards - and there was something kinda hot in that; but some of that was possibly me and validation again ("if she has high standards and she wants to do stuff with me; that's a big approval") 

Oh jeez I think I am definitely in this category 😂  I think that’s another reason I struggle with someone so much younger as I guess it’s not really what I want so why should I if I don’t need too.....unless I want a new experience.

I guess this can also go back back to the ‘Dial A Dom’ post that was put up when it asked if we were too particular on what we were looking for without the willingness to make exceptions. 

[ey****]

I think there's this thing when you get into kink and everything is new and exciting.  But then it gets to a point where things aren't new any more.

I half joked about how long it's been since anyone last pissed on me (hoping to sort that this weekend! But I've been involuntary dry since Oct 2018!) but, like, I'm not desperate to do it.   So, I can kinda see why "I like the same fetishes as you" isn't enough on it's own for someone for whom it's not still all new/shiny - if that makes sense

and, to me this is a good thing.  

[BigPolly]

4 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think there's this thing when you get into kink and everything is new and exciting.  But then it gets to a point where things aren't new any more.

I totally get that, I think that’s why becoming a sub after so many years was like opening the BDSM door all over again with still so many new things to experience. 

Im not sure I fancy the idea of being someone’s ‘new & exciting’ experience whilst I’m lay there questioning it

[ey****]

I can never decide if I'm done exploring or not - I guess there are things I'd still like to do, or do more of - but then to a degree nothing is urgent or desperate.

 

[Lokisgodhi]

People are always claiming age is just a number. I have to disagree.

I'm in my mid fifties. I find a really don't have a lot in common with people decades younger than myself. I really don't like the music they like. Okay, I hate the music they listen to.  I have different social attitudes than they do.

I've set a cut off of 30 as a minimum age. That's probably too young but I had to set something as a minimum.

I have a friend who in his mid 60s whose always getting involved with twenty somethings. He's then surprised when these hamsters are only interested in him for his ***.

[Qu****]

I have to strongly disagree and this topic has been raised many times in the forum.

I think you are doing younger people a disservice. They are not all the same and there are some wonderful younger people on this site who I’m proud to call friends -  but I can only speak from personal experience, being in my mid fifties and in a relationship with someone who is 25 for the past 2 years (raise eyebrows now).
No, we definitely don’t have the same taste in music (doesn’t rate the Beatles 😱😂) and many other things but we have so many other things in common that make our relationship so special.

It’s true, some are very immature and obviously won’t have the same life experiences we have had or the same outlook on some aspects of life but then others will totally surprise you.  

At the end of the day, it is all down to who you find a connection with, irrespective of age etc. If you make eachother happy then age really doesn’t matter.

Maybe I’ve just been incredibly lucky to find someone who makes me this happy but I’m past worrying about age difference now, life literally is too short and you need to grab it with both hands and enjoy the ride!

 

[Ja****]

11 hours ago, Lokisgodhi said:

People are always claiming age is just a number. I have to disagree.

Age IS just a number. To assume that because there is a correlation between younger people and a different attitude to life than yours that ALL younger people are incompatible is indicative of a closed mind. Attitude varies between people regardless of age, I often speak to people who are 20+ years older than me and am pleased to call many of them my friends. 

 

When looking at people to engage with on Fetish I look for attitude. Sure, most younger and even some same aged people I find too immatilure for me personally. But to assume makes as ass out of you and me! So I will engage all people with an open mind and a neutral expectation. 

[Lokisgodhi]

Queenie63 and JackReeves:

You're confusing friends with partners.

I have a lot of friends that are a decade (or more) old and younger than I am. But they're just that. Friends. Not partners.

We're friends because we share common interests. I have friends within the scene who are of diametrically opposed orientations. We're not interested in scening with one another.

 

 

[Wo****]

19 hours ago, Lokisgodhi said:

People are always claiming age is just a number. I have to disagree.

I'm in my mid fifties. I find a really don't have a lot in common with people decades younger than myself. I really don't like the music they like. Okay, I hate the music they listen to.  I have different social attitudes than they do.

I've set a cut off of 30 as a minimum age. That's probably too young but I had to set something as a minimum.

I have a friend who in his mid 60s whose always getting involved with twenty somethings. He's then surprised when these hamsters are only interested in him for his ***.

My ex Dom was 17 years my junior.

Age isn't always an issue.

In my 20s I was a guy in his 40s so I've been with both older and younger. 

 

Neither of those relationships ended due to the age difference and I'm still good friends with the younger guy. 

[Deleted Member]

45 minutes ago, Lokisgodhi said:

Queenie63 and JackReeves:

You're confusing friends with partners.

I have a lot of friends that are a decade (or more) old and younger than I am. But they're just that. Friends. Not partners.

We're friends because we share common interests. I have friends within the scene who are of diametrically opposed orientations. We're not interested in scening with one another.

 

 

Queenie has just said she has a partner who is 25 years her junior. No confusion. I agree with her and Jack and Bounty. I’ve learnt to not judge on age. Because then I’d miss out on being with some wonderful people.

[Qu****]

1 hour ago, Lokisgodhi said:

Queenie63 and JackReeves:

You're confusing friends with partners.

I have a lot of friends that are a decade (or more) old and younger than I am. But they're just that. Friends. Not partners.

We're friends because we share common interests. I have friends within the scene who are of diametrically opposed orientations. We're not interested in scening with one another.

 

 

No, not confused at all

My partner is 25, I have many friends considerably younger and older than myself. Makes no difference 

Begs the question then, how do much younger people feel about having a partner/friend who is much older than them?

Works both ways

[ey****]

it seems a weird thread to necro.   But, for assorted reasons - I can totally understand preferences on avoiding age gaps - particularly if there's something important to you which is difficult across generations.

But, I also think it's unfair to make sweeping generalisations about one generation or another

[ol****]

I think there may be two questions lurking here.

The first is at what age does somebody really become aware that they may have a non-vanilla tendancy? I think this varies with the individual concerned. 

The second is what age gap can any of us tolerate in a relationship? I think this varies as you get older to be honest. I knew a sub who for years would only date D's who were at least a decade older, then she hit 60 and her opinion changed!