Jump to content

DDLG age gaps - am I overthinking this?


Recommended Posts

I am not into kink 24/7 and I certainly don’t “live the lifestyle” like many on here, but over the last 5 years I’ve found my niche.
I have been Daddy to both a little and a bratty middle. We meet when it suits us, and it satisfies something we both desire.
Both are younger than me by 16 and 8 years respectively.
For me, DDLG does not lead to sex. I nurture, encourage, tolerate, and push back and punish when needed.
There is an element of arousal (I'd be lying if I denied it), as I find the whole dynamic exciting.
I know that my bratty middle gets particularly turned on by seeing how far she can push me before I push back and threaten a punishment.

I've recently been chatting to someone online who is CONSIDERABLY younger than me (she's in her 20s), and it's thrown up an issue that I'm struggling with. In my head it somehow seems inappropriate. She’s fine with it, as we’re not in this to have sex, BUT there’s the problem (my problem)…

It still seems a bit weird. Am I overthinking this?
Wondering what other littles/middles and Daddies think?
If she’s a consenting adult, it’s not inappropriate. But definitely I would bring it up if you’re struggling with it, just to figure out if it’s something you can work through or if you’ll have to end the situation. Because your comforts also important in this scenario. Hope this helped!

Where large age gap things become an issue is where people are *exclusively* seeking out people in their early to mid 20s or even younger. The fact you're thinking and asking these things is a decent sign that you likely at least a fairly decent human. I personally have a rule that I won't actively pursue anyone under 25. If they approach and pursue me I'll consider it depending on specifics. 

I say it's something you should definitely bring up with her, discuss and see if it's something that can be worked through. Have a discussion then perhaps a trial basis sort of thing with it's understood that ultimately you might be uncomfortable with it. 

I’m 36 she’s 21
i’m on the opposite side of that my last sub/little was 35 and i’m 20 and yes it was an issue moreso for her than for me but as long as its addressed and you’re both fine with it in the end then go for it but definitely bring it up if its bothering you or it won’t work because that’ll just keep bugging you until you either address it or break it off
Preface this by saying I’m a little and would include sexual interaction in that dynamic. So I’m not into the same exact situation, but age gaps seem fine to me with two consenting adults. All of it boils down to that statement “consenting adults.” As long as that is the case I think you are ok.
I think of your concern is her emotional maturity and ability to cope with the dynamic, then you definitely need to communicate and set very clear boundaries and maybe revisit them frequently. If it’s not just that concern and the age gap makes you feel uncomfortable, then you need to be honest with both yourself and your potential little.
Thanks folks. Communication, yes. Also, it occurs to me that I’m one of those people who overthink EVERYTHING, so why should this be any different? Thanks again.
  • 5 weeks later...

You are probably overthinking it, but then again I do too.

I agree with just about everyone else here about "consenting adults", however there are (for me) ethical concerns about maturity. Just like in an age-gap vanilla relationship. Which may seem odd given the kink in question...

I try to take a step back and ask the question "Am I harming this person without them realising it?" This question is valid when you have dramatically more life experience than your partner.

Silly as it is, I use the "Little Women" formula to decide whether I can make the first move. Half my age +7 years.

I'll chat with and get to know a younger person, and if they are of the age of consent and initiate the relationship I feel like I'm ethically OK. But making the first advance any younger than half my age +7 years (28 in my case) is creepy.

I don't hold others to that standard. It's just my rule of thumb because I never want to be perceived as a predatory old guy.

  • Create New...