I Want my Boyfriend to Dominate me

[Kate12496]

So recently the desire to be dominated has been glaring up inside me. So much so that I have found myself intentionally antagonizing my boyfriend just to see if he’ll throw me over his knee and spank me, desperate right?? I’ve always known that I don’t like being in control in the bedroom, theres so many aspects in life that have to take charge of and sex is not one of them. I like when my partner runs the show and tells me what, when, where and how to do it. My boyfriend has always know I’m a little kinky, he has spanked me and tied me up before but after four years together the desire for him to do more is eating away at me. The thing is I don’t even know how to start this conversation. He doesn’t have the most domineering personality so how do I know he could even give me what I want?? Is it something you can learn overtime? I’m really just looking for any and all advice on how to start this kinky journey with the man I love. Thanks in advance!

[Wo****]

Talk to him.... write him a letter?
He doesn't have to be domineering, it's about a connection. My ldr is very quiet, gentle but he can, and does, dominate me. Same with Pirate. He isn't domineering, at all, but he can dominate me with a look.
Talk to him, explore ideas together. Idk, maybe ask him what he thought of tying you up, does he wanna do more....

[Deleted Member]

^ what she said communication is key, who knows he might be hiding it inside as much as you

[ey****]

don't drop hints or try to manipulate play; ask outright what you'd like to explore with him.   

 

[Deleted Member]

Communication is key explain what and why you need this and that it is him you want to submit to

[Ma****]

I can't speak for 100% of guys, but we're not always the greatest at picking up on hints. Just be up front and honest with him and what you want, but also respectful about what he may or may not be looking for.

[sw****]

You can also try "reverse psychology"...throw HIM over your knee, spank the s*** out of him...turn him over, look him in the eye and say...THAT is what I need from you. When it comes to sex, our reptilian brain takes over and words don't register...actions do. IMHO, of course.

[Bournemouthmaster2se]

Just be open and honest with him, you'll need to be upfront because as has been said most of us don't look for or take hints.

[Deleted Member]

I’m in the same boat with my husband. Luckily he’s tried and done some kink with me but I still have to guide him or initiate sex a lot.

[Re****]

You love him and you've been together for 4 years, talk to him. You don't need to begin the conversation with a full blown explanation of what you want, you can let it evolve. About a year ago my hubby and I started our journey down the D/s path and it has grown slowly and naturally, we made sure we were both aware of what we did and did not want, would or would not want, or entertain, before even considering signing up to a site like this, and when we did, we did so as a couple. If your relationship is based on love and trust then tread carefully, listen to yourself and your own instincts based on your own relationship with your partner, experience within the kink community does not necessarily equate to good, solid advice.

[Flynn]

Honestly if you tell him this he'll probably be relieved. He'll chalk the antagonism down to it and likely feel glad that's what it's about rather than actual issues. Then you can both go down the path together and explore more aspects of your sex life and beyond. 😀

[Deleted Member]

I’be tried to spank women without even talking about it. If they start breathing kinda heavier and showing me signs of getting turned on then I go further. I wonder if you have him i hints,, or would tell him to spank you during sex etc. And if you get more out of that you’ll see if it turns on him also.
Sometimes having long technical talks doesn’t help things to flow spontaneously. So just some hints during good times together. Hopefully this will start growing on him.
Maybe even strong hugs that you both would feel to the bones etc.
Let’s see what you think 🤔 or maybe just try it out if makes sense.

[ey****]

2 hours ago, DirtyNightmare said:

I’be tried to spank women without even talking about it

outside of a consensual arrangement - that's called assault.

 

[Tom-9943]

Just tell him what you want, and what you want him to do

[cautiousswitch]

So he has tied you up and spanked you before, but it sounds like you initiated those experiences and what you really want is for him to initiate them.

The next question then is how much prodding did you have to do to get him to tie you up and spank you? If it took a lot then I don't know what to tell you.  If it only took a little then  have one suggestion that may work.  Ask him his fantasies.  Think about them for a while.  Think about which ones you would want to do and let him know that he can do them some time in the future - when is a matter of him just doing them.

The other thing to consider is that after care isn't just for subs.  Some time after he has tied you up or spanked you get into his head and find out what he's thinking.  Let him know that you enjoyed it.  The dominant sometimes needs some reassuring.