Brat dynamics - acknowledging when they are right

[Ar****]

I was recently given a piece of advice/tip from a (self-identifying) brat that you should never tell a brat that they are right. 

I have my own strong beliefs about this matter, which I'll keep to myself for now as I don't want to bias the comments.

I thought it would make an excellent discussion point though - should you or should you not tell a brat when they are in the right? What are the merits and pitfalls? Why?

D-types, is acknowledging when a brat is correct always a no-go for you?

Bratting s-types, does being told you are right undermine the perceived strength of your partner or potential?

[ED****]

Saying you are right this time, however in that same sentence “that will not always be the case isn’t that right my darling” !

Is only a suggestion, not an opinion for discussion, as none of us are always perfect in reality.

[AKA_Copper]

Initial thoughts.
No one is a brat 100% of the time. It would be exhausting. I'd also perceive it as belittling to always be in the "wrong," a lack of respect for my personhood.
From a non brat
Also, thank you (!) for a sensible OP

[je****]

Typically I see a brat being bratty as someone who really wants attention. I have no problem with that, and playing off of that energy can help with the discipline/reward piece.

[Go****]

For me personally, I’m a human being first, being a brat is secondary, so not telling me I’m right when I know I’m unequivocally correct would be at the very least, frustrating, and at worst, undermine the connection of the person doing the disagreeing.

I feel that disagreeing with someone because they’re a specific role, in this case a brat, every time, is both undermining their confidence and misguided. 

[Deleted Member]

Not acknowledging when someone is right, no matter their role, is very frustrating. I doubt anyone would stay in a relationship where they are never acknowledged. We are people first and foremost 

[Ta****]

This topic reminds me of a quote from Dom Deluise in Mel Brooks’ History of the World, Part 1… “I’ve just had a wonderful idea!…what was my idea?” You could playfully concede to their point by switching stances and taking credit for it. But at the end of the day, brats are still people too, and may very well be highly educated/intelligent. If you know they’re right, and they know they’re right, and you’re worried that conceding will somehow undermine the balance of power, you could simply tell them you hadn’t looked at things from their perspective before, you appreciate their input, and you’ll keep it in mind going forward.

[Deleted Member]

My opinion: It absolutely does NOT change the respect/strength. In fact to be told I’m wrong when we both know otherwise is toxic. THAT would change my respect and trust.

[Na****]

Id say this is a situation where context is necessary

[St****]

Does it undermine my partner’s perceived strength? Absolutely not. Only insecure people can’t admit when they’re wrong. Insecurity is weakness, so if anything, seeing my Dom’s ego rule him would be a turn off. He should be secure enough to live in reality, so that I feel safe enough to let him rule mine.

[Se****]

I would say from the point of view of someone that has tamed more than one brat, that at a certain point they're gonna be in the right more often as they adapt to their dom. So to not acknowledge that shift as they start doing things that are naturally on the dom's wave length would be counterproductive to the overall state of the relationship. Also most brats I've been with have craved discipline, so you don't typically lose a part of your dynamic as they develop towards more sub than brat. So from the point of view of preserving your dynamic, there's equally no risk to acknowledging their growth.

[Deleted Member]

Bratty or not, if I happen to be right about something, I would like to hear that. However, if Master tells me I am right and I have a bratty attitude about it, well, then my bratty attitude deserves to be corrected! The bratty side of me still needs to be humble, or it goes from bratty to rude.

[re****]

I used to be with someone who acted as if anything I said/did that they didn't agree with was me being bratty. Key words... used to. I'm a whole person, not just a brat. And to me that was disrespectful, not attractive.

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, red-deer170208 said:

I used to be with someone who acted as if anything I said/did that they didn't agree with was me being bratty. Key words... used to. I'm a whole person, not just a brat. And to me that was disrespectful, not attractive.

Yep being in a relationship with someone who always sees you as wrong (even when you are asking logical questions), is the worst feeling ever. 

[Mi****]

Yes you should

[Mx****]

You absolutely should, if i didn't want that cat and mouse game, I would be a sub who preferred constant degrading.

[Ar****]

11 hours ago, Kajira951 said:

Bratty or not, if I happen to be right about something, I would like to hear that. However, if Master tells me I am right and I have a bratty attitude about it, well, then my bratty attitude deserves to be corrected! The bratty side of me still needs to be humble, or it goes from bratty to rude.

I particularly like this, thank you 😊

[Deleted Member]

23 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

I particularly like this, thank you 😊

Thank you!

[Deleted Member]

I mean there is a yes and no involved with this. I would say yes cause it's not a bad thing for them to be right it might even closen the bond between the two of you that being said though if they are bratty about being right they need to be dealt with and let know being right is not a loss of position on your part. So they can be right yes if they are bratty about it deal with them.

[Os****]

If your power and strength is undermined by not being right 100% of the time, I would suggest that your power and strength does not actually exist in reality.

[Va****]

Dom here. I'll tell my brats when they're right, even apologize when I'm wrong if its merited. I'm also a degrader but theres no reason you cant have healthy dialogue 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've had brats that were right, I told them they were right and did what I was going to do or punished them anyway just to en*** the power dynamics of the relationship. Being right is inconsequential, unless they safeword I'm still the one in control. Thats in scene or 24/7 dynamics. Outside of that, yeah I'm big enough (and not a narcissist) to admit when someone else is right.

I want to add though that no two dynamics are alike and both partners should try to tailor their styles of play to fit partners preferences, yknow compromise. I have never had a brat like OP that wanted basically playful gaslighting but if I did I would try to accommodate that desire.

[je****]

4 hours ago, Ossie316 said:

If your power and strength is undermined by not being right 100% of the time, I would suggest that your power and strength does not actually exist in reality.

Preach

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, Ossie316 said:

If your power and strength is undermined by not being right 100% of the time, I would suggest that your power and strength does not actually exist in reality.

THIS!!

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, Valkyrja said:

Dom here. I'll tell my brats when they're right, even apologize when I'm wrong if its merited. I'm also a degrader but theres no reason you cant have healthy dialogue 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've had brats that were right, I told them they were right and did what I was going to do or punished them anyway just to en*** the power dynamics of the relationship. Being right is inconsequential, unless they safeword I'm still the one in control. Thats in scene or 24/7 dynamics. Outside of that, yeah I'm big enough (and not a narcissist) to admit when someone else is right.

I want to add though that no two dynamics are alike and both partners should try to tailor their styles of play to fit partners preferences, yknow compromise. I have never had a brat like OP that wanted basically playful gaslighting but if I did I would try to accommodate that desire.

I am curious. If the brat is right, what would be the reason to still punish?

[Va****]

5 hours ago, Kajira951 said:

I am curious. If the brat is right, what would be the reason to still punish?

Depends on the circumstances. Sometimes its just fun to discipline 🤷🏻‍♀️

Its been awhile since I was with a brat so I dont remember the specifics but I think it had to do with backtalk or something idk this was many years ago but yeah basically she ended up explaining the thing and was right and I acknowledged that and told her I was going to discipline her anyway. She was very masochistic and the terms of our dynamic were that I could punish at any time for any or no reason 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just was in a spanking mood