Deleted Member Posted March 10, 2020 Posted March 10, 2020 Picking up on Phoenyx's comment about seduction... I think it's worth thinking about this. Because I do believe that EVERYONE really wants a nice guy/gal to be with. But arousal has to develop between 2 people first. Arousal can grow out of the strangest and most unlikely connections. I do not know the first thing about seduction, but it happens. I fall for people... people fall for me. It's surprising to me. I just have one thing that I feel might be worth adding. I have no idea if it's relevant to you. There's being nice and then there's being self-sacrificing. Giving away so much of yourself without expecting something in return is a turn-off. Having solid boundaries and a sense of self-worth is highly attractive. I just felt compelled to say that for some reason.
Ch**** Posted March 11, 2020 Posted March 11, 2020 I wish i could find a dom whos a gentleman when not in dom mode. Im a switch i had a relationship for 15 years were i was a switch. But the person i was with got controling more and more away from playing. I had a dom after for a while but he ended up being controling away from play time to the point were the shopping bags had to be packed to his likeing. I was never controling i was the fun 1 the spontaneous one. Always have been Im no longer with a dom or sub.
qu**** Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 It's more of a case of being damned if you're nice and damned if you're not, after a few years dabbling with various dating sites of either vanilla or kink from a profile view point you can't win, sure, confidence has part to do with it, but how can someone get to know you when they can't get past a photo and a profile
Deleted Member Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 My Mistress is very nice and very caring. We're in a 24/7 D/s relationship and I react far more favourably to nice. However there are scenes when she's nasty and she does it very well, but after the scene we revert back. My godess is a lady and she expects me to be her gentleman 🙂
Deleted Member Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 yes nice doms are cursed , as they want a strong man but then they dont want a man that treats them with respect away from home , i enjoy opening doors, holding hands and having more then that dom sub relationship , so yes we are doomed but there are women who like nice and naughty there hard to find
Deleted Member Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 I don't have any real life experience, but I'll add something from my roleplays. I generally portray dangerous psychopaths, and I'd say I'm good at it. Most of my partners like the thrill element, without the risk of real life impact. However, I myself am very caring and respectful towards my play partners. And I also love sensual domination. That's why one of my partners openly said she really likes me. I can play out her fantasy of a cruel sadistic psycho, without being such an asshole outside the play.
cautiousswitch Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 I've had this argument with a professional dating coach about vanilla dating. My conclusion from all that is women want a man who is going to challenge them a little - a little teasing, a little back and forth banter - mainly treating them somewhat equal rather than immediately putting them on a pedestal. "Nice guys" can do this but don't want some clue as to the woman's tolerance so that he doesn't come across as being rude, so he holds back on what he says. "Jerks" don't care and just plow on with whatever comment pops into their heads. We never did agree. They said that women were right to date jerks even though they knew they were jerks because the nice guys weren't stepping up. I said that if women weren't willing to wait for the nice guys to get comfortable with challenging them then they deserved to be stuck with jerks. How much of this translates into non-vanilla relationships I don't know, but the attitude of "you're too nice to be dominant" would certainly answer the question of why some doms think that they can start ordering someone around when they first meet. The jerk approach works in vanilla relationships so "logic" says it ought to work in non-vanilla.
Deleted Member Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 On 3/7/2020 at 11:16 AM, The_MrGreen said: Or am I misinformed? It is not you who is misinformed, it is these women whom you mention. I was once called a "Diaper Dom", based on nothing but my age. I had not even engaged in conversation, yet I was instantly regarded as inexperienced because of my age. That was only a couple of years ago, I am still young, but some Submissives have told me I am unnerving in a dominant way. Being a "nice guy" is wrongful associated with being a weak or sensitive man. Like you, I am a gentleman, but I do still have a sadistic streak. My advice would be to ignore these women, and focus your attention on the ones who seem open-minded.
Snakee Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 Well I know I'm a freak but I'm the total opposite... I gravitate towards nice people in general and I wouldn't submit to a cocky asshole dom 🤷♂️
Deleted Member Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 They certainly do, most give up altogether now and go mgtow
BiSlaveBoySub Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 As far as I am concerned nice guys need not apply! I am only interested in guys and gals who treat me like a piece of s**t! Check my moniker....SLAVE means you do want you are instructed to do...no questions asked!
Wo**** Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 22 minutes ago, BiSlaveBoySub said: As far as I am concerned nice guys need not apply! I am only interested in guys and gals who treat me like a piece of s**t! Check my moniker....SLAVE means you do want you are instructed to do...no questions asked! So nice guys and gals can't instruct you? Being a slave doesn't mean you deserve being treated badly.
Ch**** Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 Id love to find a nice guy. Id even go totally vanila for some 1 i realy liked but alas im never going to find my guy. I thought i had but after 12 years it scrwed up even though i tried hard for another 3 years because i wanted my Disney endding. I thought id fount my prince charming he was a switch like me but alas he ended up being a fuckwit
Deleted Member Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 Charms Id love to find a nice guy. Id even go totally vanila for some 1 i realy liked but alas im never going to find my guy. I thought i had but after 12 years it scrwed up even though i tried hard for another 3 years because i wanted my Disney endding. I thought id fount my prince charming he was a switch like me but alas he ended up being a fuckwit......they are here, but like you most have had similar relationship failer, Like myself...so less likely to find a relationship in a place like this, because of people wanting so many different things. Also you need to message people if you like the look of them, liking pictures or sending spanks just won't get a response
Deleted Member Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 Conversely, why obsess over people who don't respect your approach? You're not owed anything just for being polite and if they don't appreciate it then that's their preference. Admittedly I'm much the same but doing something just because you think it's what women want is probably the wrong reason for doing so.
ey**** Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 3 hours ago, BiSlaveBoySub said: As far as I am concerned nice guys need not apply! I am only interested in guys and gals who treat me like a piece of s**t! Check my moniker....SLAVE means you do want you are instructed to do...no questions asked! someone can treat you like shit, but still be nice. because - well - there's always a line between kink and ***. or, alternatively, if you're a slave who does as instructed - send me £1000 and I'll tell you how pathetic you are
Vandalslut Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, DanteReign said: Being a "nice guy" is wrongful associated with being a weak or sensitive man. Like you, I am a gentleman, but I do still have a sadistic streak. My advice would be to ignore these women, and focus your attention on the ones who seem open-minded Well said! Gentlemanly is certainly not weak. The ones who think gentlemanly is weak are the weak ones. The hollow boasters - the empty vessels - DO make the most sound. And ***y discordant it is, too. One or two thought the Vandal was weak - and they had about 7 seconds to revise their opinion before becoming abruptly *** on the pub's pool room floor. Only ever happened twice - then the word got around. And definitely ignore the close minded women. 'Tis my happy experience that the 'quiet ones' are the deepest and most worthwhile men - REAL men. 7 hours ago, CuckoldDaddy said: Nice guys dont finish at all 😉 Yes, they do. There's thousands of 'em in here. Edited March 13, 2020 by Vandalslut
Ch**** Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 I would love to find my prince. Iv been broken by so many "nice guys ", since i started dateing at 13. 1 day i will find my prince. Im fed up of fuck wits. Nice guys dont always finish last there are alot of nice guys who have partners. They are wanted cared for and loved
Deleted Member Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 Nice guys have been ***d so much, they are not nice anymore or have walked away altogether.... How many times can you kick the dog and expect it to return faithfully
Deleted Member Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 Nice isnt an issue so long as its genuine. For me just being yourself and honest about it is one of the sexiest characteristics you can have.
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