Trust building

[Sa****]

How can you build trust between people with complimentary kinks? Lets suppose both of them are not experienced, or at least one of them.
Which steps can help when real life meetings are not possible or easy?

[Dr****]

Trust is built with time and conversations and respect of each other's boundaries. The more you talk and communicate the more information you can use to please them properly. However misuse of that information and hurting them destroys trust. That's where the respect of their boundaries is needed. After you have trust then you can talk about pushing boundaries

[Deleted Member]

I don't have nearly enough context to answer this query. It would depend on myriad factors.

[Pu****]

Consistency in communication, one and main

[MasterKama23]

Be true and dont pretend. If you are both learning, then admit it openly, do your research and communicate to make sure expectations are set properly, as well as both partners safety is assured. This will help build trust. And would gradually make it easier. Take it slow. As for online part of it, you will be surprised how much play can be attained by online instructions or over phone. Good luck!

[lo****]

One thing is building trust. The other is keeping it. Take time to build rapport, good foundations and relationships. It’s not something that can be rushed or created overnight. Understanding and accepting limits. Not being pushy. This is just a quick and dirty broach of the topic.

[BrainyBabeMagic]

WANTING to provide consistent respectful behavior that puts the health of the relationship first.

[Be****]

Embrace and accept who and what both roles are, not just to the Dominant or the Submissive but as a whole - Doing this allows for growth and teaches not only to be proud but to carry each other as such. Know that there's nothing about each other to be ashamed of and there is beauty in it , Let go of all negativity and insecurities about what lies outside or within.

[Ta****]

So I'm cisgender white man. Meaning pretty much I'm in the most untrustworthy category of human beings on the planet right now. However, when people meet me in person, people just trust me. Tell me secrets. Tell me things I wish I didn't know but I know I'm never going to tell anybody else and I don't lie about things - At least nothing consequential and nothing that will hurt somebody. I'll tell a lie and save somebody from real Harmony. Not from dealing with their own consequences. Trust first comes from trust within yourself following your own rules adhering to your own boundaries and not letting anybody waver you. That's how you build trust with other people , is being a trustworthy person being an honorable person. I show respect to other people not because they deserve respect, but because I deserve to be respectable and respectful.
So all in all, It comes down to this: How Trustworthy are you to follow your own boundaries, and how often do you break your own rules?

[da****]

I’d say you can never 100% trust someone as my Mistress just found out this past month with an Ex bf/Dom she had what happened isn’t important but it caused trauma towards men in a highly sensitive way and she may never be able to trust any man again not truly

[Bi****]

Firstly both parties ask questions to make sure you both are on the same vibe and enjoy at least some of the same things. Second make sure both parties are open minded and willing to explore each others kinks. Third discuss what setting would make both parties comfortable…in public first, hotel, you host, them host, etc

[Mi****]

Open and honest communication. Its one of the core pillars upon which our community stands, and without it, everything crumbles away.

[Ki****]

I’m wondering about the two less experienced transitioning (see what I did there!?🤭) to IRL. I may or may not endorse the, “oh hell, let’s just jump in and then start paddling when I’m in” Theory of Whi’tfamahhdoon.

[fl****]

Gotta talk about it freely

[Ro****]

Need to discuss it and communicate openly. My first sub dom connection was that we were both unexperienced in the dynamic. We were also friends beforehand, and in conversation, we had both confessed we wanted to explore those complimentary sides. We talked most often and negotiated things to try. We also accompanied each other to our desired events to encourage each other to explore more than we would've alone. We were more wingmen at those events. I feel blessed to have had such an open and caring person for those experiences.

[mo****]

Discuss it. At length, in detail, and explicitly. Build multiple scenes together narratively to explore the ideas, desires, and consequences. Go from entry into the scene, to post after care. Take your time, and don't push established boundaries, but explore the areas that they are comfortable with, and then build the narrative from there. Build that trust, by showing what they can expect. Then, follow through cleanly, with appropriate check ins. It's not a race, it's about the dance. Take it together and enjoy it.

[Ki****]

3 hours ago, RogueLynx said:

Need to discuss it and communicate openly. My first sub dom connection was that we were both unexperienced in the dynamic. We were also friends beforehand, and in conversation, we had both confessed we wanted to explore those complimentary sides. We talked most often and negotiated things to try. We also accompanied each other to our desired events to encourage each other to explore more than we would've alone. We were more wingmen at those events. I feel blessed to have had such an open and caring person for those experiences.

I 100% agree when my Pet first told me his desire to be owned both in and put of the bedroom and his desire to learn how to please men in bed We had about a 3 hour long discussion of what that would look like and what I expected. If I was going to be his owner and he agreed. But it definitely does make it easier if you already have a relationship/friendship and trust there first before just diving in

[ka****]

Good answer @RogueLynx that helped me thanks for sharing🙌🏾

[Ta****]

14 hours ago, dale46805 said:

I’d say you can never 100% trust someone as my Mistress just found out this past month with an Ex bf/Dom she had what happened isn’t important but it caused trauma towards men in a highly sensitive way and she may never be able to trust any man again not truly

That's a choice, not necessarily a bad choice. To clarify, the trauma is Not a choice, how we choose to process and handle that trauma is.

[Ta****]

14 hours ago, dale46805 said:

I’d say you can never 100% trust someone as my Mistress just found out this past month with an Ex bf/Dom she had what happened isn’t important but it caused trauma towards men in a highly sensitive way and she may never be able to trust any man again not truly

And I do Not mean to sound calloused or cold, but when I hear of yet another woman being vio lated by a man, i would get very angry and/or sad if i didn't exercise a lil detachment.

[Deleted Member]

Time for me, trust is built over time can't be rushed

[No****]

Listening skills and action meeting words

[da****]

13 hours ago, TasteTheseKisses said:

And I do Not mean to sound calloused or cold, but when I hear of yet another woman being vio lated by a man, i would get very angry and/or sad if i didn't exercise a lil detachment.

Hey I’ve got trust issues because I’m a survivor of DV I’m lucky that my Mistress trust me enough right now but I feel even more blessed and grateful i found someone that i can trust and talk to about my feelings and won’t *** me in a negative manner but do I trust her 100% no and i probably never will be able to trust anyone because of what my ex wife did to me but im in therapy and she is helping more than my therapist is so im immensely grateful and lucky

[Ki****]

15 hours ago, dale46805 said:

Hey I’ve got trust issues because I’m a survivor of DV I’m lucky that my Mistress trust me enough right now but I feel even more blessed and grateful i found someone that i can trust and talk to about my feelings and won’t *** me in a negative manner but do I trust her 100% no and i probably never will be able to trust anyone because of what my ex wife did to me but im in therapy and she is helping more than my therapist is so im immensely grateful and lucky

I am sorry that you had to deal with that Dale. For some reason, I had convinced myself that if I kept giving her what she wanted, her behaviour would ameliorate. But she remained true to nature. And that was being a narcissistic, gaslighting, rage queen. And for that reason, I have some significant trust issues as well. I tipped my hat to you for being in therapy. I haven’t had the courage that you have displayed. And as a healthcare professional, I know.

[Deleted Member]

I've found that both conversation about said kinks and lots of general conversation to get to know the other person does wonders for me with regards to trust building. I like to get the measure of person, see if we can resolve any miscommunications in a satisfactorily compatible manner, and even see if we can woo each other with words.

I can do general pick-up play with someone without much conversation, but without that layer of trust and emotional connection to satisfy my demisexuality I'm likely to be surprised if they want a rematch, and likely not as enthusiastic as they are.