Is this normal ?

February 27

That's bc half of the people are true submissive and the other half are putting words and associate phrases to give off the impression You want a Heartless Dom to own You and degrade You. Ppl claiming You is only the role play showing that something about You is attractive to ppl. Alot of these people are only trying to meet Your desire they are just in a desert mid summer and dying of thirst. I have ppl I message responding back to me either 1 I'm being too soft or 2, I'm being Nasty. When I literally read Bios and half of these say how they want to be degraded and dominated. I TELL them what I would love to do to them according to their Kinks and they rudely attack me for being 1000% Communicable and saying exactly what I want rather than beat around a bush or play some chat game of just saying the "correct" answer instead of being upfront an trying to figure out the compatability. If you say you're a freak, a slut, a Nympho how does one take offense to being talked to in a respectful manner for the role they are asking for??

February 27

Unfortunately, it is normal. Just as doms get DM's promising "I have no limits", "You are my Master", before we even chat. Desperate souls do desperate things.... Ignore or block them to weed out the ones who worry you.

February 27

Normal - sadly yes. Ok? Nope.
.
Immediately talking to you as if you're theirs; expecting you to address them with an honorific; jumping in to demanding/requesting your submission (or something to 'prove' you're submissive) and to follow their instructions....All are signs of fake doms.
.
A real Dom would build up trust first, expect you to address them by their name; communicate so as to find out if you're both a match for one another (a Dom should be making sure they're what YOU need, just as much your being a good fit for them), what your limits are and level of experience. There's a LOT of information that needs to be gathered/exchanged and teased out, and foundations to be laid, before any scenes, sessions or meet-ups are arranged.
.
[Personally, my one exception has been calling a Disciplinarian 'Sir' from the off. But that isn't me submitting to him, it's just being respectful (like you would a teacher for example). He is not my Dom, and he isn't a Dom full stop. He's not mine, and I'm not his. But I'm respectful of him in his role as Disciplinarian/the person dishing out ouchies during impact scenes. Hope that makes sense 🙈].
.
Submission is a journey that should be all kinds of delicious. I'm afraid that we're faced with sites being populated by predators, -ab*sive types-, misogynists and also narcissists; and have a disappointing amount of them to wade through and weed out. Hopefully one of the replies you get to this post can recommend some reading material or podcasts. I hope it's even ok to signpost...(mods?); if it is, a lovely place to start is 'Kinky Events' - a blog and podcast by Chief and his sub (who's name I can never spell or pronounce, sorry). Whatever you read on your journey I recommend you read both sub related and Dom, so you can see both sides, know what awesomeness is possible and know how to spot unsafe -people-. Safety isn't just '-won't do a bury under the patio-'/'uses protection', it's about being safe emotionally. Safe = healthy <3
.
Good luck 🫂 x
.
.
(second time/reply lucky - original version even asterisked a cute word for 'people', presumably because it thought it was something to do with water sports?)

February 27

(cntd)
.
...'uses protection', it's about being safe emotionally. Safe = healthy <3
.
Good luck 🫂 x
.
.
(second time/reply lucky - original version even asterisked a cute word for 'people', presumably because it thought it was something to do with water sports?)

February 27

33 minutes ago, FuriousVon69 said:

That's bc half of the people are true submissive and the other half are putting words and associate phrases to give off the impression You want a Heartless Dom to own You and degrade You. Ppl claiming You is only the role play showing that something about You is attractive to ppl. Alot of these people are only trying to meet Your desire they are just in a desert mid summer and dying of thirst. I have ppl I message responding back to me either 1 I'm being too soft or 2, I'm being Nasty. When I literally read Bios and half of these say how they want to be degraded and dominated. I TELL them what I would love to do to them according to their Kinks and they rudely attack me for being 1000% Communicable and saying exactly what I want rather than beat around a bush or play some chat game of just saying the "correct" answer instead of being upfront an trying to figure out the compatability. If you say you're a freak, a slut, a Nympho how does one take offense to being talked to in a respectful manner for the role they are asking for??

Youre a fool and need to get educated via workshops. People can say they want X in their profile, that doesn't mean or justify your behaviour. If I put i want marriage in my profile would your opening by a proposal? No, because that would be ridiculous. As ridiculous as using someone's open communication about their kink desires to speak to them as your degradee when you haven't spoken to them first. You aren't speaking to anyone respectfully if you speak to someone like *your* slut, freak, nympho when you haven't even given them any opportunity to decide if they want to be. The fact you're justifying your disrespectful and assumptive communication style as 'you asked for it' well. I want to be married and I'm wearing a wedding dress right now - better get proposing buddy! I'm ASKING for it!

February 27

Well, my comment got deleted, but yeah, it’s normal and also be careful with this app because I successfully met someone and they told me they had multiple people show up at their house unannounced and uninvited. We’ll see if this gets deleted.

February 27

Firstly heyyyy. Once u get past what I call the fake doms this app actually does become good. I try to be polite to people but sometimes u have to use the no thanks feature to stop them harassing you.
Any real dom will be polite and friendly, get to know you as a person then have a conversation about limits and kinks discuss mutual kinks and let things unfold from there if u both want to persue eachother. Just because your sub or dom doesn’t mean youl instantly want every person who is on here of your a real one. All about being open and honest
Anyone who messages u with a dirty unasked for message or pic deserves no explanation as to why u never reply. Drives me mad luckily I don’t get many now

Anyone who thinks their unasked for messages or pics are ok to send u need help. We are all open to kink hence on here but doesn’t mean it’s a free for all for harassment

February 27

These people scream out the type to see a young girl in a short skirt and r*** her and go “she was asking for it dressed like that” no no no no NO! Get some manners and morals. But I will say I know from men on here it happens both ways!

February 27

Absolutely not ! Submission is a gift you give they do not take . If it’s consensual play through cyber it’s one thing but not just coming out claiming you . Just learning you need to find out what you’re into and you’re not . A lot of these fakes just want to *** and fulfill their needs only . It’s a POWER EXCHANGE not a power grab . Good luck

February 27

And I’d personally hide your face from profile and maybe even change your user name to something unrelated to your name. Youl be shocked how people can track people down. Unfortunately we live in a world you have to be extra careful. All that aside it’s a good app and I hope u have a great kink discovery journey 🩷 from one girlie to another always a message away if u need advice or anything

February 27

It’s happens, though should not be the norm. If I’m feeling up to it, I usually have a BLOCK party. Someone sliding into my DM’s without knowing anything about me and saying all this stuff with out prior interaction … 👋🏻

February 27

These wannabe doms are doing you a favor. They are identifying themselves to you as ignorant to kink and in some cases, predators. ANYONE who claims you without your consent should be avoided.

February 27

This is the problem with these apps. Anyone talking like that has no place in a true kink community and I can assure you is a loner who does not interact. Or took no time to educate themselves like you are. Thank you for that first of all. These folk jerk off to your photos and need no substance in life or their sexual approach. They're basic, toxic men and women (yes alpha females think they can do this as well) who unfortunately are the norm.
These are not folks worth interacting with. Just block them.
A true gentleman Dom wants to know what makes you tick. Most of them should be somewhat Sapio. If they're not beware.

February 27

It's different people with different approaches and way ! Nevertheless, a lot out there think that being a dom mean you are mean, strong, badass ! Which is totally not the case- as you go out to a bar! Someone will hit on you in a nice way or stupid way- the same !

February 27

As far as I know, it is quite common behaviour, and some experienced subs are expecting such treatment from the very beginning. If you are not appreciated by such a communication style, just let people know about that in your description.

February 27

Yeah it’s normal for the doms who have never actually had subs to do that. It’s not right now should it be accepted. You don’t just meet someone and say “you’re my sub now” that’s ludicrous. A connection has to be formed for it to even be worth anything. Rules have to be outlined and boundaries set. It’s crazy how many people get into this and think they’re just going to randomly speak to a total stranger that way.. there are some women who like it but they’re few and far between.

February 27

Nor should it be accepted * sorry i can’t edit my post

February 27

Anyone who talks to you and assume your kink doesn't know what they are doing and will hurt you.

February 27

They think they can claim you. Those are wannabe Doms and they can take a hike.

February 27

It is not normal and you should simply block profiles like that. You’re learning about you needs and who you are. Conversation and some type of connection is needed to see if you’re even interested. DM if you’re interested in talking about it. Here to help :)

February 27

No.. you have to find that connection

February 27

Is it normal yes, is that the way things actually work no, some people have absolutely no tact or social skills.

February 27

Just your average low i.q guys who get no pussy.. they are in every walk of life..

February 27

Guys think because this is a kink site they can treat you however they want. There are good guys here. Don’t give up hope. You’ll find what you are looking for. But don’t be afraid to use that block button. Good luck hun.

February 27

Beware of fake “Doms”. Which unfortunately this site is full of. If someone hops into your DMs immediately with honorifics and demands, run. Vetting is very important