Popular Post Mi**** Posted March 6 Popular Post Why is it that most people have a hard time telling thier significant others to explore the world of bdsm with them?
xn**** Posted March 6 Usually insecurity and *** of rejection. It's one thing to be rejected by somebody you don't know too much for kink, but when it's your significant other, it can impact the relationship and how they perceive you. It's one reason, at least.
lg**** Posted March 6 Probably *** of a negative reaction and/or embarrassment based upon social stigmas.
Al**** Posted March 6 Now that depends on the type of relationship they have. Being open and truthful should be an important base for any relationship
Ja**** Posted March 6 I would say that a lot of it has to do with how "taboo' it is, as well as *** of being judged.
Lo**** Posted March 6 Cause there other half will think that they want to sleep with other men or women
Re**** Posted March 6 I think judgment maybe ? That or the *** of they are truly open they will be looked at like they aren't themselves but everyone has their own freaky fantasy they think about it ..
vi**** Posted March 6 Maybe there afraid telling it or the reaction of asking it… not everyone is open minded! 💯
Deleted Member Posted March 6 Maybe it's already been discussed with their significant other. Or maybe it's been made clear by the significant other that they are not into that kind of lifestyle.
Mp**** Posted March 6 Hi because my wife(now my ex wife) didn’t like to do much anything when it came to sex with me so I never asked
Mr**** Posted March 6 In the west there's a lot of stigma attached to exploring sex, so many folks are afraid to make themselves *** enough to share that side of themselves with a partner for *** of being judged and rejected
da**** Posted March 6 It should never happen. Wife and I have no secrets. Open conversations about sexual orientation and desire should have been part of the dating process.
Ma**** Posted March 6 Probably because not eveyone is equally open to eveything. I dated someone for a lil over a year and a half, and i knew through innocuous conversations that she was not into kinky play. No spanking (hard, light, or otherwise) never gave me any blow jobs, didnt like doggy style, but would put up with it, but anyway i eventually told her i would really like to try some restraints. Nothing else crazy, just sex with her hands tied. You might have thought she had been slapped hard across the face, for no reason. After several days, she seemed to cool off, i thought, until about a month later she had gotten angry at some little thing, and then threw in my face with anger, "oh, and lets not forget that you need to tie me up!" Yeah, we broke up shortly after that. Thank god. I can only imagine the hell it would be if i were legally and financially bound to her. THAT would have been absolutely hell. And i just kneweww she wouldn't be up for it, but i thought, "Well, eveyone says, 'you never know until you ask.'" But i will tell you, there are things you can know, without having to ask. Im glad i did, because i was starting to emotional separate anyway. So tha k goodness things ended sooner. But to me, that. That is why. Im not saying it makes everything ethically clear. But as to why? Well that, I can absolutely understand.
Deleted Member Posted March 6 Scared to be *** and the chance at judgement or Shame is a lot especially with someone you fully intend to spend the rest of your life with so their acceptance and openness is something you want to keep
Deleted Member Posted March 6 Speaking from experience. I had my ex-wife take the bdsm test and she answered 98% vanilla. After more discussions she answered that way because she didn’t want me to think she was weird. Lots of years of marriage and growing apart and then you just don’t know them and they don’t know you.
Julz901 Posted March 6 Because it may risk the relationship, in some cases. I give you 2 scenarious out of my head. 1. Lets say you have a fetish, where you know your partner doesnt like/is most likely not to like, why would you introduce that? 2. Lets say you have a fetish, who may even your partner like, but the fetish is hurtful to the relationship in generell. Why would you introduce it? There is no point in risking a great relationship, if there is a 95% fail rate and a 5% Success rate. Most of the time its fine to introduce it tho.
Ca**** Posted March 6 Societal and religious stigmas associated with bdsm, polyamory, kink, and fetishes (among others) make the topics taboo even for long time established couples. While those stigmas and perceptions have diminished in the last few years, they're still there for so many people who are raised to believe that heteronormativity is the only way to have a relationship. I know couples in their 40s who still only use missionary and schedule sexual activities in advance because they feel it's just another 'chore' married folks do....
Bb**** Posted March 6 People love getting in relationships and marriages and not even being full self aware of who they are OR being self aware but getting in the relationship or marriage anyway not telling the other person their kinks, I've had more than one girlfriend tell me about how their new boyfriends isn't into anal or spitting or whatever it is ......and I'm always wondering why would they get in a relationship with somebody that's NOT into something they enjoy so much
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