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What is a Soft Dom /Domme?


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I saw a few interesting post on Reddit about soft dommes and soft dom BDSM scenes. I wondered what is a soft domme? All of the post were M4F. Looking for soft dominatrix and soft dom BDSM. Is it some type of mommy-based fetish? As a domme would you find it hard to act out vanilla scenes? What does a soft dom scene look like? What is a BDSM soft Dom? I’ve never heard of this before please, enlighten me soft dommes BDSM fans and all you kinksters. 


To answer your question 'What is a soft Dom?' Well, basically the soft domme acts nice towards the sub and encourages them. It doesn't have to be mommy-based. It's just an opposite of the typical harsh approach, hence it being a soft doms or soft dommes meaning it's easier to access for newbies both sub and Domme BDSM beginners as well as those more established to soft domination and being soft dominatrix. 


yeah  there ae soft dommes, soft dominatrix even. What is a soft dom?- there's guys who want a "Mommy Domme" which can often, but not always, be with the sub in a 'baby boy' or other 'little' role.

it's often more soft and structual depending on folks dynamics. It's all kinds of soft dom meaning soft domme BDSM play doesn't have to have a 'mommy' element. 


These are the real questions about soft domme /soft dom BDSM relationships. 


I'm a switch and I know that I prefer soft Dommes and soft domme BDSM scenes
I submit more and try harder to please my Domme when they show that they love and care for me. Where it feels I matter and am important to them.
The feeling of failing them and making them disappointed is world ending when there is mutual respect and love.
Some other Dommes will try and make you feel replaceable to try and get you to try harder, which makes me feel insecure and like I won't have a place if I mess up at all or they will punish you in some way like spankings edging, no sex, etc. which only fuels the feelings of being ***ful that with any mistake, I'll be thrown out.
With a soft Domme, I feel like I have a place and I'm wanted by them. That by choosing me, I have something they want and they will help me grow into what they envision. I enjoy a soft dom BDSM session as it feels nurturing to me. 
With other Dommes, I feel replaceable and like I'm nothing more than a tool for them to use to get what they want.
One earns my submission and loyalty while the other demands it.

That's really the best way I can put it and I realize that there are far more types of Dommes not just soft dommes meaning there's someone for everyone out there.


Soft dom or soft domme from what I can tell is just a term for an assertive lover with light bdsm soft dom meaning a gentler approach for those who prefer soft dommes meaning a focus on control over *** maybe? 


Honestly would want a soft domme or even a soft dominatrix as BDSM soft dom scenes are the hottest to me. A soft Domme BDSM scene is my dream. 


What is a soft dom? I think it is sorta like a mommy/daddy type of way of going about things. Where one person is supportive but also very assertive in a noncynical way. A soft dom BDSM scene maybe preferred by those who don't like harsh domme BDSM scenes. 


I feel like I tend to be a soft domme meaning I don't like being very aggressive towards my partner. However, I can still be assertive in BDSM soft Dom scenes. 


Soft dom BDSM honestly is the best. It works great with Littles. It really enjoyable for me (as the soft dom or as the sub) because this kind of dynamic helps with building a strong relationship. A soft domme BDSM scene is less scary for lots of people.  Also, helps with kinky people who have sexual trauma get back into the kink community. A soft dominatrix would be excellent too. 


 Soft Domme BDSM is what I call Affectionate Domination and it's very much part of my approach to Femdom. You can be soft and loving but still have strictness and rules as a soft dominatrix or soft dom meaning It also makes the aggressive stuff come as a nice shock, when you switch it on. You play Good Cop, Bad Cop, to keep your sub guessing and keep them on their toes.

Being a full metal bitch aggressive Domme is more scene-based than having a lifestyle relationship. Where I guess you find more soft dommes meaning more sensual I guess.


Does that answer your 'what is a soft Dom?' question?


From what I've seen or can imagine soft domme BDSM is probably more for Littles and Pet play. More of setting tasks or play times. But still rules.

On 3/23/2020 at 1:47 PM, LucidT said:

I submit more and try harder to please my Domme BDSM when they show that they love and care for me. Where it feels I matter and am important to them.

This is a great approach to describe what it can be like, if someone is not just acting out of the punishment box. Soft Dom BDSM still works,  I don't think that a less extreme attempt to dominate a person would feel that much different for the person that likes to be dominated. Sure, sometimes it could be the wrong choice from the beginning, if the passive person would like to be manhandled or punished really bad. There are a lot of people that like this kind of intense and more extreme takeover part, even if they are new to BDSM or the relationship is barely solid. 

But in my experience the situation can shift from a more careful one into a very intense and hard one in an blink of an eye. That also works the other way around, if you realize that a situation you created becomes to severe and thus too much for someone you can bring in the soft dom meaning you read the situation. 

I mean as a dominant you can feel when there is something missing for a submissive, like the difference between real struggling with something that is at the edge and the playful effort to just get loose and provoke or challenge you. You know also often for sure when the passive, submissive or little one is bored. And you know also with time when it really comes to the point where this kind of boredom sets in. It just depends on how close you observe the person of interests reactions, when you play with them as a soft dome or other Domme, BDSM scenes or lifestyle. 

And even if you start slow or slowing down somehow at some time, there is nothing wrong about it. I would not even call it soft dom. I would more likely call it caring for someone you want to be with. I mean there are people that want and need *** and that is their domain and there are people that need more intense ***, to just feel good or right or better. And calling someone a slut, or disgusting or hurting someone would be for the one person to much and for another one it would more likely feel like a joke. 
So what would be the difference for all of them, when it comes to harder or softer ways to dominate them? 
I would say just their own understanding and feeling of all the things they experience. Nothing more. If they want soft dommes meaning they pick according to their wants.

As dominant i only do one thing, looking at the person in front of me, trying to find out what this individual being needs, act inside of the basic conditions this particular person gave me and decide where, when and how i would go a step further. Go on the edge and just take a look at what comes next or go a step back again, because i just have the feeling it would be right, better or best for this person in front of me and our situation. 

So what is a soft Dom? It is up to that person to define it. 


I prefer to be  a caring dominant, a soft dom meaning I'm mostly gentle although a little sadism is fun too. I'm just naturally nurturing but also like to be in control.

Yes i can do vanilla and have to when i'm single as i don't have that level of trust i need for BDSM, i can do all sorts if i'm into it.


I'm a Sensual Dom, maybe a soft dom meaning my scenes don't involve sadism. so I could be described as "soft" or "gentle."

Personally a Care giver little/mommy Dom is a hard limit. Sensual to me is highly intimate, heavy on sensation and bondage. I get into my sub's head. BDSM Soft dom scenes are often intimate  and gentle with Soft dommes meaning that the BDSM soft dom scene is so called. I prefer sensual thouh. 

I don't consider anything I do vanilla so I don't understand what you mean by a vanilla scene. I can't even orgasm if there's not some kink involved. But kink for me isn't Sadism or Masochism.

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