Craving to be desired

[sq****]

My guy won't hit on me and he says that's not true. I keep finding him on here with kinks on his profile that I am very into and want to do but he won't do them with me. I am losing my mind how do I bring it up

[Mo****]

Sit him down and talk to him about 🥺

[Girthman]

Sit him down and get him to talk to you about it. Perhaps he's just gone off you - in which case talking about how to spice things up will help (e.g., using blindfolds and toys more, arranging 'anonymous' hotel meets, role play or perhaps more kinky play). Communication is key.

[Mo****]

This 👆⬆️⬆️

[CopperKnob]

If you're both on Fet, then I think you just brought it up.
.
It might also be worth you trying to understand different kinks rather than using the language you choose if I've interpreted it correctly.

[Deleted Member]

So you're kinky, he's kinky, you have mutual kinks but he doesn't seem interested in doing those kinks with you & he is on here seemingly looking for someone to do those kinks with - the questions you need to be asking are A) do you want a relationship with me? & B) do you want me to be your submissive? No messing about, ask him outright for a honest answer.

[ar****]

Don't even stress about it just start out by talking about today's news you saw in the newspaper how a dog rescue the bird from a tree and oh yeah by the way I'm really horny I want that stuck in my ass and look they have a bigger one they sell at the store but it just is on sale right now we can go get it

[Pl****]

8 minutes ago, DomGuyBrum72 said:

So you're kinky, he's kinky, you have mutual kinks but he doesn't seem interested in doing those kinks with you & he is on here seemingly looking for someone to do those kinks with - the questions you need to be asking are A) do you want a relationship with me? & B) do you want me to be your submissive? No messing about, ask him outright for a honest answer.

Exactly! No time for messing about!

[Da****]

Seems to me he’s more interested in something poly, seems pretty disrespectful to be looking elsewhere when u already have a willing partner! You need to decide how much respect you have for yourself! You are quite attractive and I’m sure u will have no issues finding someone that deserves and wants all their fantasies to include you! But only you can decide that

[Ha****]

I find it interesting that you’re both on this site but your profiles aren’t linked… that’s a glaring truth you might not even be aware of, but it says something. I’m possessive, but I want everyone who comes to my profile to know I am claimed, and with someone who also knows they claim me, and we’re in this kink journey together.

It could also be that he has a “princess” vision of you… for some they will not perform certain kinks on those they hold dear. But as everyone has said, you have to have that conversation to find out why

[Stantyson]

Get rid of that fool

[Gr****]

You bring it up, by stating your feelings. Don't state actions or observations, that can only get misconstrued as an attack.

Something like, "I'm feeling x, y, and z right now. How can we come together so I have an understanding of the situation."

Try not to assume, or accuse. In my experience that leads to fights and large misunderstandings where not even words can correct them.

Be strong, be calm, and be honest.

Best of luck 🫶

[He****]

Communication is key, you gotta be able to talk about what you want and need individually and as a couple—if you aren’t able to find a common satisfactory ground it may be time to let that one go baby

[nw****]

If he is on here looking for something different, you have to ask why.

[mi****]

Oh my god by not being victim and respecting yourself as a woman and asking for what you want and if not receiving it makes you unhappy bc you deserve to be happy and not codependent then you need to communicate like an adult otherwise you are using your partner as your excuse to be unhappy which would make 99% of any MEN unhappy as well

[mi****]

And he needs to step it up as well if he is not fully satisfied he needs to express it so you guys can work together and figure out if you can fulfill one another as two or maybe work together in bringing in another or whatever it is you need to be mutually happy otherwise you guys are just buying time blaming each other or using each other as excuses for not being truly satisfied. Or your needs are not needs but entitled or ungrateful or greedy wants

[mi****]

Maybe you just like this kind of attention though and you already know what to do like 90% of the people on these threads and forums

[Un****]

You deserve to be hit on.

[bi****]

If he's on here and doesn't want to do kink, it can only be because he sees you as a relationship - not fantasy. Dumb I know, but still. Or he's just here for the tittilation of imagining it, not doing it.

If he's on here, create an account that's not obviously you and contact him. Play pretend to see if he is going to cheat, and if its all talk, then lead him on from there so he knows its you and its ok to actually take things further as if you were a stranger.

[FetMyLife]

It’s sometimes really awkward to open up about your kinks to your partner especially if you’re a little bit embarrassed by them or ashamed of them. I imagine it’s from a *** of being judged, potentially upsetting or disgusting your partner and possibly causing them to think about you differently and go off you. It’s much easier to open up to absolute strangers online. They can’t “fall out of love with you” if they think your kink is a bit weird and because you don’t really care that much about their opinion of you (because you don’t love them or *** losing them) it’s easy to really open up, even about stuff that you think is a bit weird or extreme. I often imagine a couple that both have kinks that they don’t share with each other but share to a stranger online (both using fake pics as they’re married!) the person they chat to online ‘totally gets them’ they share the same kink and feel accepted. They share stuff they’d never share with their partner because he/she ‘just wouldn’t understand’ then one day they finally meet up and for the first time discover that it was their partner they were talking with the entire time! Then they finally trust that their partner won’t judge their taboo kink and the relationship becomes amazing! I was going to suggest you kinda make this happen by making a fake profile and approaching your partner anonymously. But it seems like (most of) the cards are already on the table for you both so maybe something more direct would be a better option. It could very well be that his kink has a little twist that he hasn’t shared with you as he’s embarrassed by it, if you have an idea what that twist might be and it’s something you like too then tell him its a thing that you like, it might surprise him. You don’t have to suggest that you think he’s into it, just tell him that you are and if it’s ok with him you’d like to do it. Of course I could be way off, he might like the idea of doing something but not with you, for example if he really want to dominate somebody aggressively, face slapping etc, he might not want to hurt you, there could be many factors. I hope whatever it is you find a solution, if it is something you’d enjoy too it could be a great step forward for your relationship. Good luck x

[Cowgirl12v71]

If hes not into u then leave him just be honest straightforward and if hes not willing to compromise at least and work so ur happy too then leave him

[ul****]

If you both have profiles I dont see the problem...just sit down maybe share show each other, each other's profile and talk about what you both like...and sorry but if he has excuses,something wrong??

[Ca****]

I’m with cowgirl

[Wi****]

I agree with DGB
Truth and honesty are important, but even more so in the kink lifestyle

Be prepared for answers that you don't like but at the same time look for the answers that will bring you closer together.

As in all of life, you can only do what you can do.

[Dw****]

I always like to be outright. Hinting can be misconstrude. So just say what you want and if it doesnt go the way you wanted maybe verbally express your approach, or how you would like it. But NOT saying anything and hoping we(as men) will take a hint may not go the way you want....we may take it wrong. So just SAY what you want. My $.02