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*** : thrill and cost

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Hi I’ll I’d like to hear thoughts from both Doms and Subs on this one...

so we have been talking about ***- light.

Trying to understand the attraction.

ive thought lots about it and am a little perplexed , I have no desire to embarrass or humiliate my loved one . But then something is boggling me and feel I might be interested at the same time .

After  putting much thought into it I think that perhaps it’s not he effect upon her within *** that I am attracted to ( or maybe it is ) but instead I anticipate that to humiliate I would feel a larger than usual level of dominance ?


is that the point from a Doms view ?

id love to hear from Doms as to why they like it and what it’s all about - also examples ? 


Id love to hear from Subs in particular as to their experiences of *** , I’d like to hear examples and scenes but particularly if they ‘enjoy’ it what’s the kick they get ? How do they feel? Etc etc.


thanks all and look forward to talking 




So I’m brand new to all of this and I have thought about this subject a lot. I think I’d be ok with some *** and then realise that it’s hard to define the line. I am sure that it’s my usual, everyday persona that gets in the way. In everyday life I would never be humiliated yet in my fantasies I can so see that happening. You’ve posted a lot about honesty and communication and this is relevant with *** more than ever 


*** heightens vulnerability and that is a turn on as it elevates the status of Sir, increasing the intensity of the power dynamic between us. 


I think from my perspective as a Dominant the control that my submissive has given especially on a 24/7 basis the *** side is mainly a rein***ment of my control and by showing this and taking part in on her part is a sign of her submission to me . This can be any thing from telling her where to sit ordering food and drinks with out asking or giving her a choice . But could also be something like having to ask permission to use the loo and stepping up to making her wear something inaproprate for a certain situation after all we have to consider the social implications of our actions on vanilla life but all in all it's about the rein***ment of my dominance .


Hi Fire and MrChristopher70,

*** heightening vulnerably and that being a turn on - thank you this is like insider advice 😉.very subjective though so of course a personal difference between people , i’ll Ask SubmissiveNix.


wearing something  inappropriate  to certain situation - great idea that I hadn’t thought about (🙄) - top man as usual.

reinforcing control - these are the things we have already established as our willing grey area between bedroom only and 24/7- and we are in ! 

Submissive Nix likes the idea of me taking this level of charge ... and I suppose that’s my point - she likes the idea.

all of the above ( except *** heightening vulnerability as a turn on as yet to be discussed ) are things that while reinforcing control and technically fitt My the bill of *** , wouldn’t embarrass my lovely - if she doesn’t feel ***/ embarrassment then it’s not *** ?

what are saying then regarding this - follow the same idea but turn up the heat ?

walking this path a mile so far the only thing I know that would be a direct benefit:

Heightened vulnerability as a turn on 

rein***d control ( achievable through more milder methods ).....

To any one whose particular focus is *** what else would you add ?

thanks both 




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