A forgotten basic, in the BDSM community and in general

[BruiseWayne]

On 4/26/2025 at 7:48 AM, Aranhis said:

Mmmm, this! 

I've had a somewhat turbulent year or two so have not engaged in seeking a partner as often as I formerly would, but have definitely noticed a pattern in more recent times of potentials I speak to appearing "bored" and stopping replying because I'm talking to them in-depth about mutual interests, hobbies, wants, likes etc. and haven't dove in telling them what I want to do with/to them in the first 24 hours.

It doesn't mean I'm not interested or attracted to them, quite conversely it means the opposite and I want to be certain there's a solid chance we will have good chemistry outside of the bedroom and kink too, before the beast is unleashed.

Honestly a lot of people out there are just lazy, low effort, and entitled.

 

Even if you did just dive in there and start up with them you're not going to get much back from them beyond little one word replies or emojis or whatever else, lolol.

 

If it makes you feel any better, I think we all have to deal with this in one way shape or form. :P

[Ar****]

27 minutes ago, BruiseWayne said:

Honestly a lot of people out there are just lazy, low effort, and entitled.

Very true. And we don't need any of that 😆

[Deleted Member]

Absolutely this! 💙🫶🩵

[Te****]

Simply put you really can't go wrong with what you feel. But the kink is your learning what you think like and feel and communicating it. To be free enough to say what you like or would like to try. That's the fun of the experiences. Your Dom or sub should have enough experience to get you started then you'll find what you love or discover along the way. But be honest!