What makes a good Female Dominant

[Ky****]

@eyemblacksheep 'some subs, or, men masquerading as subs, are into female Domination because they see it as taboo. That they see women as being weaker and/or inferior so see it as "hot" to be "under" someone they actually believe is beneath them', guilty as charged when I first started, learnt differently since, including that it was probably always a cover for my own gender identity.  Wonder how the person who brought that out of me acquired the training, or was it instinct, to recognise that?  Glad she has acquired the skill though, for me it makes her a sublime D, although I wouldn't go so far as to say it was necessary to be able to do this to be a good female dominant.

[ey****]

7 minutes ago, Kymi said:

when I first started, learnt differently since, including that it was probably always a cover for my own gender identity.  Wonder how the person who brought that out of me acquired the training, or was it instinct, to recognise that? 

I think that in a lot of cases it's instinctual or peer learning.  That, for example, if someone works professionally they might learn to recognised patterned behaviour from clients.  That someone is very active in munches, online, or community they might find themselves friends with or exposed to people of different sexual identities and that's a means of learning within itself.

That also, consider, a lot of people in session use some of it as a kinda therapy; and while this can be a form of emotional labour it can also be a form of learning.

I guess also there's a lot within any form of gender play - that is the person approaching requesting some form of Crossdressing, ***d femme, sissyplay or anything like that - is this from a misogynistic point of view ("it's humiliating to be a woman"), is it something that is fun, or part of a new identity, sometimes people like sissyplay because they can feel it's 'not good enough' to be a 'real woman' whilst also not being a 'real man' - and is this form of *** or...?

Sometimes I think there's sometimes a bit more going on.

 

[TemptressM]

I will admit that I tried to be submissive when I first got insterested in this but it just wasnt for me,  Yes some aspect of it I enjoyed but on a whole it really didnt make me feel good. 

I stepped away as when I looked further into this I believed Femdom to all be about *** and ***.  (no internet at the time lol) I was still quite dominant in my vanilla relationship until I started looking back into it.  

Once I stepped up and tried being a Dominant properly it was like all the pieces fit and I was finally whole. I seriously love it,  Yes when I first started out I was def more of a gentle Domme, but I have slowly grown and learned things over the last few years and my kink range has grown so much,  But I did all this myself,  I found what I could online so I could learn and my two subs of course helped me grow into what I am today.

[Gidorra]

She lives close by and shares my kinks

[Dearelliot]

All really were professionals, my experiences in Berlin were usually better than USA but a Mistress Heide in South Jersey years ago was by far the best Dominatrix, a True professional.  She understood the  power she had over me and other men. As though she could play me like a violin. She was confident and for good reason. She understood the submissive  male  mind and would toy with it verbally. She understood that  as she presented me with a riding crop or pinchers, needles, other toys, she could easily control my mind and frighten me.  When I answered Mistress Heide's questions, I was very careful  to be honest and show respect.  When she said  "I own you, and  can do anything I want to do with you."  I felt  that was true.  And that was  always from the moment you walked into her home.

She  used her eyes and expressions to keep me attentive and hold  my  thoughts.

 

 

 

[Realfeelings]

I don't believe that up to this point I have seen a true dominant lady. I think too many are stuck in fifty shades. I have been searching for a dominant lady for a long time. So far I have found ladies who are stuck on pro mode. When I think of a dominant, I think a leader, someone who leads by example. Most of the women I have met don't follow their own rules, it's do as I say not as I do. Then there are the " pro" domme. It's all about the ***. What happened to the relationship? 

[Ky****]

in which case Realfeelings there are lots of female dominants out there, I've worked for many take charge female bosses who lead by example

if we are restricting it to sexually dominant then its a matter of learning, searching and establishing relationships first, just as you don't walk up to a woman you've just met if you are a dom and tell her she's now your slave and expect a result you can't approach a woman as a sub and hope she's a domme.  Unless you are paying for advertised services.

[ey****]

A lot depends on where you look.

Nobody is required to do party tricks to show they are a "true Dominant" - particularly if you have done little to show you're a "real sub" and a negging approach never helps.

But, well, I get why people don't warm to a relationship with a Pro, but, all relationships actually cost ***.  Whilst having a partner you live with might wield duel incomes - it also comes with higher bills and what you pay in/out might be linked to your earnings.

If a partner becomes pregnant than that impacts her earnings, so you end up paying to be together. 

So, for you to want someone to look a certain way and have access to certain toys and equipment, the *** to pay for that has to come from somewhere.    Equally, readdressing wage inequality is a certain sign of submission  

 

[Realfeelings]

On 11/5/2020 at 12:13 AM, Kymi said:

in which case Realfeelings there are lots of female dominants out there, I've worked for many take charge female bosses who lead by example

if we are restricting it to sexually dominant then its a matter of learning, searching and establishing relationships first, just as you don't walk up to a woman you've just met if you are a dom and tell her she's now your slave and expect a result you can't approach a woman as a sub and hope she's a domme.  Unless you are paying for advertised services.

I would never disrespect a lady.  I don't think you understand the meaning of my words. See they all want me to send *** before we have met. Why would I send *** before I know anything about the person? The fact is, I have sent *** before, bought toys and so forth. I was left looking stupid. Now I don't.

[ey****]

6 hours ago, Realfeelings said:

I would never disrespect a lady.  I don't think you understand the meaning of my words. See they all want me to send *** before we have met. Why would I send *** before I know anything about the person? The fact is, I have sent *** before, bought toys and so forth. I was left looking stupid. Now I don't.

that's because you're not talking to ladies, you're talking to scammers.  That's a totally different issue.