MK**** Posted May 24 There are people who act like I’m paranoid because I won’t hook up unless the labs are recent and the condom’s been blessed by the Pope. Sorry -- but I was a hospital corpsman in the Navy. I’ve seen more genitals than a urologist with insomnia. And when a Marine or sailor waddles in thinking it’s just ingrown hairs, while his junk looks like it’s trying to grow Braille? You stop playing Russian roulette with your privates real quick. There’s always someone who goes, “But what if the condom’s defective and the lab results were false negatives?” Like I’m supposed to treat sex like a slot machine with a flesh jackpot. Nope. I want the condom vacuum sealed, triple inspected, and personally blessed by the Pope. And if he hands me a communion wafer instead, I’ll say, “Thanks, Your Holiness -- but I need you to bless these wafers too.” * Is my level of caution a realistic response to the risks, or do you think it's overkill? Where do you personally draw the line? * Do you think society is becoming more open about discussing sexual health, or are we still brushing it under the rug? * People say "better safe than sorry" -- but how far does that go in your sexual health decisions? * What practical things help you feel more secure in your sexual health -- testing routines, conversations, boundaries?
al**** Posted May 25 You aren't the only one worried about sexual health. Condoms aren't fool proof. If you want good sex then he or she needs to be tested and the results verified so no STD can be found!
Go**** Posted May 25 I think if you’re happy and comfortable with your level of caution, then it’s the right amount. Personally, I always bring up the subject of sexual health with someone I’m vetting, first to check their initial response to a ‘sensitive’ topic, and secondly to see whether their level of caution is in line with my own. I make sure to get tested every six months, and prefer that any partners I have do the same. Communication is always important, but especially so in terms of this topic, I feel. I think that society in general still has a long way to go in terms of openness regarding sexual health. Having said that, I’ve never encountered an issue with discussing it with anyone in the kink/polyam world.
Ne**** Posted May 25 I'll just pop in here to say that STIs aren't the end of everything.. stigma (ie people being awful to other people etc) hurts us the most, and, I haven't yet seen an overall general change in public views..
SilkieOne Posted May 25 I remember this old ad when AIDS 1st made its appearance. The gist was you're having sex with everyone your partner has has sex with. ... think about that... HERPES is forever. It's HORRIBLE... No thanks.. . Be SAFE.. INSIST on the LABS and make sure you see the results... be safe
Ba**** Posted May 25 Heavy on the condoms blessed by the pope and asking for test results. Sadly hook up culture is so hyped up people only care about having sex. They get offended easily when asked if they are clean but they aren’t at all concerned about having safe sex and being safe. What helps me is to be open and honest with my intentions, limiting sexual contact with people and asking people when the last time they had sex was, if they had sex raw, and for recent negative results. If they don’t take their sexual health as serious as I do mines then Its a hard no and I’m passing.
ey**** Posted May 25 I think it's good to take sexual health seriously, especially if you are engaging in a lot casual sex or play (I remember on the latter someone said, a lot of dungeons are environments where a lot of people have shed ***, semen, *** and more... you can also catch a STD from a prosphetic. The risk may be low risk, but is not no risk) The main first thing is your own responsibility. If you are testing regularly then, to a degree, it doesn't matter what anyone else is doing. If something does flag up - STDs can be treated. You just stop, call your close contacts, and get treated. Obviously avoidance is better - but yeah, it's not unreasonable to ask for someone else's recent results (as in, within last 28 days - anything older than that is out of date) particularly if they also engagein a lot of casual sex Remember of course, a lot of home testing kits have limitations in both what they test for - and bizarrely my last home test kit they somehow lost the rectal swab?! So it's best to go into a clinic and of course clinics can carry a cost. However, can you put a price on responsible health?
ge**** Posted May 25 Sexual Health is the responsibility of each person as an individual and no-one else - so there will *always* be an element of risk when playing with new partners - and it comes down to a case of weighing up those risks and deciding for yourself what level of risk you are prepared to take, knowing your own sexual health precautions. . Neither condoms or sexual health test results are absolute mitigation of those risks either - condoms can split, condoms don't prevent transmission of STIs that are skin borne (HPV/HSV) etc. Then you come onto oral sex and whether you protect yourself for it - it's as risky as penetrative sex for many of the STIs. . Sexual health tests prove nothing either, other than the person was clear at the point the test was done, and even then only if they'd not had sex for up to 12 weeks before the test, and haven't had sex since it. . So it really is a case of weighing up the odds, deciding what risk you're willing to take for yourself, and being open and honest about it with potential partners.
sw**** Posted May 25 If that’s what the master requires. I would fulfill the request. Being clean and healthy is being respectful to the master.
Go**** Posted May 25 I also want to add that the continued use of the term ‘clean’ to represent being std free perpetuates the stigma of a person with std’s being ‘dirty’. This does nothing to encourage the open communication within society about sexual health.
Deleted Member Posted May 25 I think you're right for being safe,but you sound paranoid because of your job and other people experiences, you live, and you learn, better safe than sorry. I do tell new subs to get tested before doing anything oral with me, and these fakes act like I said something wrong to them, lol stay true keep getting these people tested before you let them touch you, don't flatter. it's your body!!
MK**** Posted May 25 Author 11 hours ago, BabyBunniiee said: Heavy on the condoms blessed by the pope and asking for test results. Sadly hook up culture is so hyped up people only care about having sex. They get offended easily when asked if they are clean but they aren’t at all concerned about having safe sex and being safe. What helps me is to be open and honest with my intentions, limiting sexual contact with people and asking people when the last time they had sex was, if they had sex raw, and for recent negative results. If they don’t take their sexual health as serious as I do mines then Its a hard no and I’m passing. On a side note, wouldn't it be a laugh if a pope at some point took on the name Judas?
co**** Posted May 26 Some people find it very normal to go get labs done and show off your genitalia to everyone who will look, while some of us are more private. I was tested in the military but haven't been since and I don't see a need to. Trust your body, you'll know if there's something wrong. Just don't ignore it. STDs have both visual indicators abd effects on your body. You don't need a lab to tell you what your body does when you've got a problem. Do you need to go get a lab when you get a cold, or do you know you are sick? We are all so focused on the lab and not just the question, and I don't understand it much. I'm a nutritionist and I believe the body will tell us if something has gone sideways. Just pay attention and be honest with yourself.
al**** Posted May 26 That's all well and good, but when you're about to stick your dick in a pussy you want to know it's clean, word of mouth today isn't good enough
co**** Posted May 26 For some. If my sexual partner doesn't trust me we shouldn't be sexual partners.
ey**** Posted May 26 So, actually in a clinic you don't show your genitals to anyone. You sort most the samples yourself, they only take the ***. With a home test kit, you do it all yourself An awful lot of STDs are asymptomatic - some can take months to show symptoms. Which, in which case, you could have infected multiple people. Or even just one person which was avoidable. Though - again - can we stop the use of "clean" as it again implies anyone who catches an STD is dirty/unclean - and, also, the test themselves are only accurate at the point of test and of course many STDs also have an incubaiton period. If I fucked someone today and caught something, but tested on Friday it might not show.
co**** Posted May 26 There is nothing less important to me than the opinion of an outsider the relationship of me and my person, no offense meant to you, I'm referencing this doctor. If decide for myself as a man without another human having a right to give me instructions on how I ought to go about living, no one else ought to try and impose rules. or so is my take. If the doctor can stop you who else can. This feels like a deeper issue to me. If you accept other people playing hover dad over your life how could you possibly be a Dom? Again this is not a specific comment as I don't know you but just my view on others in general from the outside.
co**** Posted May 26 Hmm, asymptomatic? I did not know that. Thankyou for that piece of info. Gonna have to do some independent research on that. Also home test kit? Man things are more convenient now. Thus is good info
Go**** Posted May 26 24 minutes ago, couldntdelete said: Some people find it very normal to go get labs done and show off your genitalia to everyone who will look, while some of us are more private. I was tested in the military but haven't been since and I don't see a need to. Trust your body, you'll know if there's something wrong. Just don't ignore it. STDs have both visual indicators abd effects on your body. You don't need a lab to tell you what your body does when you've got a problem. Do you need to go get a lab when you get a cold, or do you know you are sick? We are all so focused on the lab and not just the question, and I don't understand it much. I'm a nutritionist and I believe the body will tell us if something has gone sideways. Just pay attention and be honest with yourself. STD’s do not always have both visual indicators and effects on the body, some have no visual symptoms, and some people don’t get all of the common indicators. This means that if I where to contract Chlamydia, I could have it with zero symptoms at first, enabling me to pass it to anyone else I had sexual contact with.
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