Desire Withdrew Consent: A Kink Scene Tragedy in Three Acts and Zero Orgasms

[Deleted Member]

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~*ACT I: The Setup (Before the Scene Begins)*~
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I got into kink thinking it’d be hot, liberating, empowering, but make it slutty. You know? Leather, rope and aftercare snacks -- mutual release. I thought I’d be wielding power -- not unpacking race relations at a cuddle party.
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I came in confident: emotionally available, linguistically gifted, dominant with a dash of consent literacy. Basically, if Mr. Rogers could tie knots and make you cry in a good way.
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And it worked. My inbox was a kink starter pack:
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“Yes, Sir.”
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“Please may I…”
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“God, I needed that.”
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I was riding high . . . Until I spoke. Out loud -- with my accent. Suddenly, I went from “enigmatic dom energy” to “tech support with a flogger.”
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My voice? No longer sexy -- just “hard to follow.”
Like somehow me pronouncing “vulnerability” with a different cadence made me unintelligible at aftercare.
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~*ACT II: The Disappearing Act (White Awakening)*~
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Then came the pattern.
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They said I was “so easy to talk to.” That I “saw them.” One even asked for permission to climax -- used my full name. Full government moan, like we were doing taxes with aftercare.
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We were deep -- some in sext trench warfare. When suddenly ... they vanished -- woosh! (I like sound effects) But make it sexually progressive and emotionally articulate:
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“I’m just overwhelmed right now.”
“My friends are going through a lot.”
“I don’t have emotional room for your days right now.”
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Your days?
Ladies, what is this -- Degrassi: Polyamory Edition?!
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Suddenly I’m the energy shift. The last episode before the cancellation. Not because I crossed a line. But because I showed up with presence, with voice, with an accent.
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Because I existed beyond the curated fantasy. Because I refused to be just another vibe they could screenshot, swoon over, and shelve.
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~*ACT III: Desire Withdrew Consent*~
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Here’s where it gets poetic.
The deeper I got into the scene, the less I felt it.
Not the ropes. Not the edge play. Not even the leather.
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Just dread.
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Because my libido? It took one look at the linguistic profiling, the tokenism, the “Ooo I’ve never been with someone like you …” and said:
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“Nah. You deserve better. I’m not even showing up until someone sees his accent as foreplay and not a comprehension test.”
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Now I’m in the dungeon like a kink ghost: Holding a flogger, explaining colonialism, wondering if I should’ve just taken up birdwatching. Even my penis was like, “Bruh, I came here to play, not audition for Get Out: Kink Edition.”
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~*CURTAIN CALL*~
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So no --I'm not broken.
My libido didn’t die.
It unionized.
Took PTO.
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Because guess what? Consent goes both ways. And desire revoked theirs the moment I became a cultural crash course instead of a person. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go tie myself up and read bell hooks until someone calls me, “Daddy” -- and gets the postcolonial joke.

[On****]

I had to laugh a little because I have been there, maybe not the accent but I think many have at one point or another felt a rejection for whatever reason. I like to think we learn to navigate connection and foresee that exit ramp just a little better next time. Great writing BTW

[ve****]

Ok now this I relate to more than u could believe. I cried reading this, btw, bravo, u write beautifully with a purpose and a point. I went through alot of *** by the hangs of people who were supposed to love me. One took it so far he broke my jaw, teeth, etc. I get at least 20 new messages a day because I’m not in pics, my profile is very real and honest. But I’m shy, have a couple of “shames” in my head. I was always tiny and 120 pounds at 5’6”. Hot!! Then my thyroid decided to betray my body, had to get it removed, and now I have a stomach I despise. My smile is half of what it used to be, thanks to the “man” who thought *** with *** was acceptable. So when I met people in person, they may have a great time, bj’s with no scraping is sexy, and getting naked with someone new is exciting but so fucking scary for me. I’ve been married for 11 years. Same man for that time. Suddenly separated and desperate to find that balance between dominant and respectful AND acceptance of my flaws. At 45 I feel old. Then I get 20 something’s wanting me and I think “maybe I still got it” until I have to talk in person. Shame!!! Always!!! What’s wrong with an accent? Nothing. I met a man I think is so hot and he’s a southern boy. He’s got that drawl and it’s sexy AF. why can’t we all just b accepted “flaws” and all?

[ve****]

Sorry, auto correct hates me and rage baits me daily. Lol

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, One4theRoad said:

I had to laugh a little because I have been there, maybe not the accent but I think many have at one point or another felt a rejection for whatever reason. I like to think we learn to navigate connection and foresee that exit ramp just a little better next time. Great writing BTW

It's supposed to be funny too.

[ve****]

4 minutes ago, MK_Zeepol said:

It's supposed to be funny too.

I like that u mixed humor into it. My reply isn’t funny because the words u wrote triggered an emotional response in me. I feel things so deeply. But I appreciated the humor in it as well. 😀. Like I said u wrote this so good. I’m a lyric/poetry writer. I’ve always loved putting feelings, desires, wants, needs, hurt etc onto paper.

[Deleted Member]

18 minutes ago, verynew_subgal said:

Ok now this I relate to more than u could believe. I cried reading this, btw, bravo, u write beautifully with a purpose and a point. I went through alot of *** by the hangs of people who were supposed to love me. One took it so far he broke my jaw, teeth, etc. I get at least 20 new messages a day because I’m not in pics, my profile is very real and honest. But I’m shy, have a couple of “shames” in my head. I was always tiny and 120 pounds at 5’6”. Hot!! Then my thyroid decided to betray my body, had to get it removed, and now I have a stomach I despise. My smile is half of what it used to be, thanks to the “man” who thought *** with *** was acceptable. So when I met people in person, they may have a great time, bj’s with no scraping is sexy, and getting naked with someone new is exciting but so fucking scary for me. I’ve been married for 11 years. Same man for that time. Suddenly separated and desperate to find that balance between dominant and respectful AND acceptance of my flaws. At 45 I feel old. Then I get 20 something’s wanting me and I think “maybe I still got it” until I have to talk in person. Shame!!! Always!!! What’s wrong with an accent? Nothing. I met a man I think is so hot and he’s a southern boy. He’s got that drawl and it’s sexy AF. why can’t we all just b accepted “flaws” and all?

It’s 2:31 in the afternoon and I just got hit with a full body monologue about shame, healing, and thyroid betrayal and honestly? I respect the hell out of it. I wrote my piece half laughing at my own flop era, and then you came in like, “Cool story, here’s my soul -- try not to drown.”

You didn’t just relate, you echoed -- loudly. And no, you haven’t lost a damn thing. The voice, the presence, the pull -- it’s all still there. If your accent’s anything like mine, they should be moaning through the syllables, not grading them. So here’s to both our libidos taking PTO until someone gets the assignment and the joke.

[ve****]

20 minutes ago, MK_Zeepol said:

It’s 2:31 in the afternoon and I just got hit with a full body monologue about shame, healing, and thyroid betrayal and honestly? I respect the hell out of it. I wrote my piece half laughing at my own flop era, and then you came in like, “Cool story, here’s my soul -- try not to drown.”

You didn’t just relate, you echoed -- loudly. And no, you haven’t lost a damn thing. The voice, the presence, the pull -- it’s all still there. If your accent’s anything like mine, they should be moaning through the syllables, not grading them. So here’s to both our libidos taking PTO until someone gets the assignment and the joke.

I really appreciate that you see the vulnerability, the raw honesty, and respect it. Thank you, really!!! Ur writing just brought something out of me that I’ve been keeping locked up in my soul, until now. Am I tearing up? Hell yea I am. But I feel lighter. So ty 😀

[Deleted Member]

48 minutes ago, verynew_subgal said:

I really appreciate that you see the vulnerability, the raw honesty, and respect it. Thank you, really!!! Ur writing just brought something out of me that I’ve been keeping locked up in my soul, until now. Am I tearing up? Hell yea I am. But I feel lighter. So ty 😀

You just said my writing unlocked something in your soul, and now I’m blushing like I got called “Daddy” in a Whole Foods.

Seriously though -- if I made you feel even a little lighter, then I’m out here doing emotional aftercare without even taking my shirt off. Now imagine what happens with snacks and good lighting.

[ve****]

8 hours ago, MK_Zeepol said:

You just said my writing unlocked something in your soul, and now I’m blushing like I got called “Daddy” in a Whole Foods.

Seriously though -- if I made you feel even a little lighter, then I’m out here doing emotional aftercare without even taking my shirt off. Now imagine what happens with snacks and good lighting.

Ur hilarious too!!!!! Daddy in a Whole Foods. Hahaha. I always need emotional aftercare. 😂. Words of affirmation and acts of service are my love languages or at least I think so. Ik they can change as we progress and change.

[Da****]

This is actually gold. 😅 I'm sure a lot of us have been there. You related the feels very well and the satire had me giggling. Good job!