Proving Yourself

[Deleted Member]

I want some opinions on this. So when talking to strangers on sites like this, I like to make sure I know who I'm dealing with (to an extent at least). So I like to ask for a pic of someone, and not just some random pic not on your profile already, but a custom one. I like to ask for someone to hold up a certain number of fingers or something like that. This usually irritates scammers or helps prevent catfishing (which has happened to me and led to a dangerous situation). I want to know thoughts on this and how you might be cautious with kinky stangers.

[Deleted Member]

I wholeheartedly appreciate where you are coming from etc - however I instantly get bored when I’m asked for more photos. I do not want to give any photos to anyone at all less I’ve been talking to them for long enough to be comfortable to do so. I know males are exasperated by the number of scammers and false profiles, and I do understand that, but females also are pestered for pictures a lot, I don’t like that.

Kinky strangers are the same as any online stranger. You just use your noggin’

[Deleted Member]

I agree with what's already been said. I understand wanting to be sure of who you're talking to, but immediately asking for a phone number or a custom picture can be a major red flag for online safety. If you've been chatting for a while, long enough to build up rapport, and you feel comfortable enough to chat on a different platform (email, other social media, possibly even a phone number), then maybe at that point it might okay to share more intimate information (a photo is a worth a thousand words...). If it helps- because it has helped me be in more control of the information I share- try something like Wickr Me or ***am. They offer encrypted spaces to send message and images that the user can set a timer for/cause to self destruct. I know, it's a lot. But with all the images out there being Googled and posted, and all the instances of scammers (like you mentioned), identity theft (I won't even go into how blatant these can be, especially when it happens to service members), and fraud, it does well to be secure.

On another note, a verified account on here already goes through a similar process (I had to do it myself and was pleased that it wasn't something like uploading an image of your State ID). There are identifiers for verified accounts (at least on here). It might be worth it to check out the verified status of the chatter, for your own peace of mind.

Good Luck!!

[Deleted Member]

I'm quite happy to send photos of my driving licence etc if a meet is planned but only once I trust the other person. It takes time and asking for photos etc still doesn't really prove who they are does it? Conversastion does, getting to jnow them helos and with that you have to have a willingness to invest some time in something that may not bear fruit. Sadly there are plenty of pests on here but with experience I think they become easy to spot. Patience, invest and see what happens, that's all we can do but yes Caution always.

[sissy_petra_uk_slut]

I usually ask for a video chat, only when they start demanding a tribute. If no tribute is demanded at a very early stage, I'm happy to get to know the person first, and when they are comfortable exchange face pics, or web chat.

[Angelwithadayoff]

I absolutely see both sides. I’m with Havelock - there’s a lot of photo collectors around and immediately being asked for a photo makes me feel like you’re interested purely in looks and/or you’re a collector. Maybe if you explain where you're coming from I’d feel different - maybe you could ask for them to write a particular sentence and send you a photo of it so not something easy to google and rip off an image for. If someone asked me to do it I’d hold it up as I’d feel reassured they weren’t JUST wasting my time too.

[Ea****]

Got so bad I put this on my profile the other month:

"Lot of scammers about, so if you message me, please be advised that if you ask for *** or gifts, I will know you are a scammer. I will give you a photo task to do, so if you are an eastern European scammer I will know immediately. I have had three scammers just recently, and whilst I find it fun winding you up, it is now getting boring.

If you are real, apologies for the above, but that is the way it is at the moment."

[Jeckmansr]

I’ve been scammed before and now I use two different programs to verify pictures and email addresses. It helps weed out the imposters.

[Leisa]

It would throw up huge red flags if when first meeting someone the first thing they ask for is a photograph. It’s why they’re on my profile. You want to be cautious then do a reverse image search and see what pops up. Changes are if it’s then it is linked to they’re Facebook account or other social media venues. When I’ve been asked for my photograph I immediately shut the conversation down because I want someone to get to know me before asking to see what I look like on any given day just out of curiosity. For all the other person knows you too could be a catfish or worse. Being a verified account with my message settings high I very rarely get randoms messaging anyway. Best of luck.

[Ea****]

I do not ask for a sexual photo.  Something like a selfie whilst holding a spoon near their face.

[cautiousswitch]

So far I haven't met a scammer here who was patient enough to get to any kind of picture exchange level of communication.  Your method will stop a catfisher, but if a scammer has the patience to get to a picture exchange level of communication and is using their own picture it won't deter them much.

Asking for the picture too early may make you look like the scammer in an honest person's point of view.

[Deleted Member]

sorry to say, but this request would make me shut the conversation down immediately. If someone is interested and is interesting to me, we will stay in contact, chatting away about everything and then maybe come to the stage where we exchange a picture. but this usually doesn't happen after a few messages for me.

[Ea****]

Hopefully they would have read my profile first and would expect this.  There simply are far too many wrong-uns.

[Deleted Member]

For me, no profile photos and not being verified at the same time, I tend to give them a wide berth. I like to see who I am talking to, empty blank photo boxes dont really do it for me. Pet ***ve of mine, is guys inboxing me for photos or better still, wanting to be my friend or wanting adding as a favourite, just to see what photos are hidden from public view. 

I would feel rather awkward, some bloke asking me for a custom photo, erm no ta. As for photo collectors, one member decided to end our conversation, because I wouldn't send him a particuluar photo.

Edited May 28, 2020 by Deleted Member
One bad typo.

[Ea****]

Again, not a sexual photo.

[Angelwithadayoff]

1 hour ago, Donnykinkster said:

I'm quite happy to send photos of my driving licence etc if a meet is planned but only once I trust the other person. It takes time and asking for photos etc still doesn't really prove who they are does it? Conversastion does, getting to jnow them helos and with that you have to have a willingness to invest some time in something that may not bear fruit. Sadly there are plenty of pests on here but with experience I think they become easy to spot. Patience, invest and see what happens, that's all we can do but yes Caution always.

Personally I wouldn’t send out a copy of my driving license with it having my full name and address on. It’s sad we have to even think of these things.

[Deleted Member]

I have done it a couple of times, to be clear it only goes to those whom I trust. There are those whom I've met who would never get it. All depends on the person. 

[Angelwithadayoff]

Makes sense - every situation is different after all ☺️

[Deleted Member]

If I feel it has real possibilities then yes plus its different for a bloke. Of course wh have to be careful but not to the same extent lasses do.

[Deleted Member]

Only in America lol! Here in the UK it’s not that bad, maybe profile from London are a risk. I don’t ask for pics, maybe to test the women on here but not for “ collecting” lol! Never been interested, if the women want to send some be it. It’s a kind gesture and usually show she’s comfortable enough.
As for the risk, danger etc I met many potential subs in cafes or at their home and they are still alive I think.
Experience shows who’s scammers or people to avoid just like I life really.

[ey****]

I'm aware of more than one lady who has left websites because they're sick of guys asking them to prove they're real.

Here's the thing

Scammers aren't that difficult to spot.  It's pretty offensive to accuse someone you are talking to of being a scammer.   Especially if, for example, they have fakechecked.

tbh - if someone moves to want to meet quickly that's usually a flag - and - it probably wouldn't be rude to ask for more photos so you know who you are meeting at that point - but, while some of the silly "show 2 fingers on one hand and hold a teaspoon in the other while looking at today's paper next to a red post box" certainly verify - they're ridiculous : and if most guys had a lady in their inbox asking them to do similar they'd be like WTF

[Deleted Member]

I love all these comments! Thanks kinksters for everyone's inputs!

[Deleted Member]

I always find it reassuring for both parties when you know they are the person in the profile. I just ask for a pic with my username on paper. If you explain then I never have an issue generally.

However I understand that it can be annoying for some. I see it as if they don’t want to do that then you’ll probably not have a good rapport with them anyway.

I do agree that most scammers are quite easy to see which is good for us.

Hope it helps.

[pocketcamera]

the funny part is that the women seem to think that a man asking for a verification photo means she needs to send a nude shot...

[Deleted Member]

On 5/28/2020 at 3:05 PM, Havelock said:

I wholeheartedly appreciate where you are coming from etc - however I instantly get bored when I’m asked for more photos. I do not want to give any photos to anyone at all less I’ve been talking to them for long enough to be comfortable to do so. I know males are exasperated by the number of scammers and false profiles, and I do understand that, but females also are pestered for pictures a lot, I don’t like that.

Kinky strangers are the same as any online stranger. You just use your noggin’
 

I agree, the most offputting thing about talking online is people just constantly asking for more photos, i find most pic hunters have no real interest in meeting up, they just want a few dozen pics to jerk off over. If thats all theyre looking for, they should just say it. Im sure there would be plenty of people into the same dynamic