Popular Post Pa**** Posted June 16 Popular Post I’ve connected with some truly lovely souls on here. Not surface chats or quick compliments, actual connection. Full of energy, kindness and most of all curiosity. People who see you and want to know you. When someone makes that effort, it shows. It reminds me that this whole thing,,dating apps, kink spaces, all of it, can hold something deeper. In turn, it gave me something I didn’t expect: a small friendship group. Yes, we’ve got kink in common, but also trust, playfulness, and warmth. It’s not what might happen, it’s what already exists. A space where I feel seen and safe, and I respect that deeply. So if you’re out there writing a profile, mean it. Put yourself in it. Because when you do, you open a door. You never know who might walk through,someone you click with, someone you might travel to meet, explore with, grow beside. Friends. Lovers. Both… Connection, when it’s real, is never just about one thing. And it’s always worth it. 🥰
Cr**** Posted June 16 Beautifully written, I’ve not come across this yet but I’m always hopeful as that’s what we’d love. I’m glad you’ve found comfort & connection.
DeviantInside Posted June 16 💯 this. Connection is key. I have been on kink dating sites since the late 90’s. But also just true in all of life, if you are genuine and honest you will find the people that like you for who you are and gravitate towards like minded souls. The more of yourself you put into something the more you will be likely to find a kindred spirit, whether it’s as friends or something more.
Ca**** Posted June 16 Sounds like you found something I've spent a very long time seeking. You're absolutely right, the kink is great, but finding people you can trust enough to explore your kink... that's rare in my experience. Now I'm approaching a time in my life, in which, I am regretting not putting more effort in the search since I came home. I think that's why I came here.
JoshJ Posted June 17 This is the sort of comment I love reading. Genuine, caring and clearly understanding of the kink scene. Behind the closed doors is something that should be with someone you have connected with and fully trust. But outside of those doors, speaking with like minded people from all over the world who share interests can be such an eye opener and warming. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting a couple of lovely, beautiful women from this site, as well as talking to a few with no intent on meeting, solely to talk about each others kinks, tell stories and make friendships
DeviantInside Posted June 17 2 hours ago, fartboy30 said: Yet you've chosen to ignore my message, how does that make sense? Hate to tell you this but nobody owes you a response. And just because someone enjoys making connections and friends… the clue is there… connection. They’re not going to find that with any and every body.
Ca**** Posted June 17 14 hours ago, fartboy30 said: Yet you've chosen to ignore my message, how does that make sense? The fact that you feel bitter about them not responding is the very reason they took the time to write that intelligently worded topic. Trying to encourage people to keep looking despite pushy, entitled people. Do you know how selfish that came across? Do you care?
ey**** Posted June 17 4 hours ago, fartboy30 said: Yet you've chosen to ignore my message, how does that make sense? it makes loads of sense Part of the clue here is "connection" that is people the OP (or anyone else) enjoys conversing with that - is people actually making an effort to chat and get to know them other than low effort, fantasy pushing, surface discussion. "hey, how are you, how was your day" and all that bullshit That, simply, for whatever reason - your approach/profile/etc was simply not intersting for the OP (or anyone else) when there are other folk more engaging. Hope that helps.
Cr**** Posted June 17 The kind of good vibe and connection you describe is what I had really hoped to find here… I’ve only been on here for a short while, but so far I haven’t found that to be the case. My experience here has been a landslide of professional dommes and subs, people immediately wanting to change apps or get my personal email address / phone number, and people with nearly empty profiles looking for LTR’s. I have chatted with one person who (though not a match) felt like we still clicked a good amount. When I suggested staying in touch on here to chat, they just blocked me. Am I missing something here? I would love to find my people, if only to feel some of that sense of community. 🫤
Ca**** Posted June 17 23 minutes ago, CreativeGem said: The kind of good vibe and connection you describe is what I had really hoped to find here… I’ve only been on here for a short while, but so far I haven’t found that to be the case. My experience here has been a landslide of professional dommes and subs, people immediately wanting to change apps or get my personal email address / phone number, and people with nearly empty profiles looking for LTR’s. I have chatted with one person who (though not a match) felt like we still clicked a good amount. When I suggested staying in touch on here to chat, they just blocked me. Am I missing something here? I would love to find my people, if only to feel some of that sense of community. 🫤 I feel your ***. After my divorce I opened a Facebook account to try and make some human connections. I've avoided humans since coming home from the war, but that didn't stop life from continuing it's ***. I hoped to find that I wasn't alone, restore my faith in humanity. That. Was. STUPID.😆 Even when you DO meet someone real, they grew up online and have ZERO social graces.😂
fartboy30 Posted June 17 3 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: it makes loads of sense Part of the clue here is "connection" that is people the OP (or anyone else) enjoys conversing with that - is people actually making an effort to chat and get to know them other than low effort, fantasy pushing, surface discussion. "hey, how are you, how was your day" and all that bullshit That, simply, for whatever reason - your approach/profile/etc was simply not intersting for the OP (or anyone else) when there are other folk more engaging. Hope that helps. Dudes I don't even want to bother this with a response! You've read too much into my comment. Chill out! And "no I don't care that she's ignored my message" I just think double standards. But alas as usual ill be the 1 in the wrong because I'm the 1 who stood up and said something.
ey**** Posted June 17 3 minutes ago, fartboy30 said: And "no I don't care that she's ignored my message" I just think double standards. Explain.
fartboy30 Posted June 17 9 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: Explain. Nah I'm good bud. I've got better things to do
Ca**** Posted June 17 21 minutes ago, fartboy30 said: Dudes I don't even want to bother this with a response! You've read too much into my comment. Chill out! And "no I don't care that she's ignored my message" I just think double standards. But alas as usual ill be the 1 in the wrong because I'm the 1 who stood up and said something. "You make connections with others, but not with me. You're a liar." There's not a lot of room for interpretation in your comment. It doesn't have multiple meanings. And people corrected you, as they should. Now your reaction is VERY telling.
ey**** Posted June 17 1 hour ago, fartboy30 said: Nah I'm good bud. I've got better things to do Disappointing. I guess this means she was right not to message you back.
Ta**** Posted June 18 While I'm still on the hunt for a suitable hunter to play with, I've also made some genuine friendships. The keyword is kindred, then it does not feel like effort. If a convo feels like pulling teeth, I'm out. And I don't get into convos with people whose profiles hold Red flags for me. I need to feel drawn to someone, sexually or platonic.
Ca**** Posted June 18 46 minutes ago, TaliX said: While I'm still on the hunt for a suitable hunter to play with, I've also made some genuine friendships. The keyword is kindred, then it does not feel like effort. If a convo feels like pulling teeth, I'm out. And I don't get into convos with people whose profiles hold Red flags for me. I need to feel drawn to someone, sexually or platonic. Exactly. Everyone doesn't have to like you, and life's too short to deal with people you don't like. You just want a safe place to enjoy being you with others that enjoy being them.
ey**** Posted June 18 One thing I think - which has been an important life lesson - is never to underestimate passive connections. Sometimes these are things growing you don't even notice - it might be people you talk to at events in passing, but not every time. Folk you might vibe with on forums of one website or another and occassionally swap messages And then - all of a sudden - they become someone you look forward to messaging, who you go out of your way to chat to - who you do end up in some form of play or relationship with. And even if you don't you still enjoy their time so you're winning anyway.
DeviantInside Posted June 18 56 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: One thing I think - which has been an important life lesson - is never to underestimate passive connections. Sometimes these are things growing you don't even notice - it might be people you talk to at events in passing, but not every time. Folk you might vibe with on forums of one website or another and occassionally swap messages And then - all of a sudden - they become someone you look forward to messaging, who you go out of your way to chat to - who you do end up in some form of play or relationship with. And even if you don't you still enjoy their time so you're winning anyway. This… there are people on forums who I generally agree with, and when I see them message I do look at what they have written. We find the people that resonate and create a connection .
je**** Posted June 19 I love this, and can't agree more. I have also connected with some very beautiful people (as in emotionally and spiritually) I'd say that I apply this mentality to everything in my life! For backstory ive had multiple near death experiences (broke my back cliff jumping & serious surgery after a motorcycle accident) Through these brushes with death ive realized: Our time and focus are limited on not only a daily level but for the rest of our lives. We only get a finite amount of attention to spend each day; String those days together and you realize you only get so much attention/focus to spend for the rest of your life. If I'm putting my attention to something it's not going to be half-assed. I will be putting every ounce of me into it. If Its not reciprocated fairly quickly, then I will move on fairly quickly. I want an enthusiastic resounding "YES!" ... or I don't want it at all. And I mean that espexially for sexual/romantic partners (SSC BABY); but even for friendships and acquaintances. I'd rather not waste the precious time I have on someone who's only half interested or is treating me like an option.
Ca**** Posted June 19 58 minutes ago, jesuslovesyouslut said: I love this, and can't agree more. I have also connected with some very beautiful people (as in emotionally and spiritually) I'd say that I apply this mentality to everything in my life! For backstory ive had multiple near death experiences (broke my back cliff jumping & serious surgery after a motorcycle accident) Through these brushes with death ive realized: Our time and focus are limited on not only a daily level but for the rest of our lives. We only get a finite amount of attention to spend each day; String those days together and you realize you only get so much attention/focus to spend for the rest of your life. If I'm putting my attention to something it's not going to be half-assed. I will be putting every ounce of me into it. If Its not reciprocated fairly quickly, then I will move on fairly quickly. I want an enthusiastic resounding "YES!" ... or I don't want it at all. And I mean that espexially for sexual/romantic partners (SSC BABY); but even for friendships and acquaintances. I'd rather not waste the precious time I have on someone who's only half interested or is treating me like an option. I'm a combat veteran, and death hasn't forgotten me since I've been home. I can back your statement of life being too short to try and *** connections that aren't there. Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is a dream. Life is a series of moments, and over before you're ready. All we have is today, so do what you can to make today a good memory tomorrow.
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