Change my mind, opinion please

[My****]

Saturday at 09:28 AM, Collar_n_chains said:

For women i can understand, though still prefer a bit of something. A profile with a pic but no about me is a bit of a "tread cautiously" situation even.

I find if it's a fake womans profile though, they'll have pics and a generic about me, that is worse. But then again, I know signed up with no pic and maybe a "I'll get back to this" until I figured i wanted to spend any time here, so a little grace can be given

And of course it's the internet, where the men are men, 40% of the women are men, and the rest is split between law en***ment, scams, actual genuine people, and the 0% abandoned profiles lol

This is so true and actually made me change my search filters. I realized that it’s quite hypocritical of me to only have the one photo of one of my eyes, but then had filters set to only show profiles with pics. I could be missing out on some amazing people so thank you.

[Tw****]

Well, I've recently joined this, but in my experience, at least for me, it doesn't matter how much effort I put into online dating or FWB, nothing comes out of it, but I do agree on the other side of that because I do put my full effort into these things because I know what I have to offer, and ya know the saying it's always the quiet ones that are freaks? Well, it's also the ones that aren't getting any attention.

[Cy****]

I understand that excludes me, correct?

[Deleted Member]

I’m willing to show more in messages personally but I keep it minimal to keep some form of being anonymous online. I’m not fully out there. But very open in 1on1 conversations

[pu****]

Guilty as charged however I'm just starting out here haven't really edited profile yet. Was kinda getting a feel for this site so I could edit my profile according to the vibe and my true desires

[pu****]

Plus I'm not good at selfies lol

[Mi****]

1 hour ago, puneman101 said:

Guilty as charged however I'm just starting out here haven't really edited profile yet. Was kinda getting a feel for this site so I could edit my profile according to the vibe and my true desires

Ah but that's ok, you've just joined so people will understand especially if you've made that clear on the description. I feel that especially for guys adding the picture puts people more at ease because the more someone knows about us from the off, the accountable we can be and the more trust that can be built. It may be easier to meet someone without a picture if you're looking for ONS than a long-term relationship. Plenty of other benefits to besides that, but I do also understand the desire for discretion to, say, avoid a co-worker or relative unwittingly finding the profile, with more people becoming part of the Kink community there's bound to something like that happen! As long as discretion is done with good intentions I don't really have a problem and if people are engaged in other ways with nice genuine profiles and messages it could still work for me. As for your profile, just please feel free to go with what feels right to you, look for the kinks you want and be free, and I hope you have a great time here! As with the Kink/BDSM community in person, as long as you will kindly remember "best practice" of making sure you have consent to speak with someone the same as anything else (I've been hearing from people on here that's theres guys messaging really unkind things right off the bat and its wholly inappropriate), and being clear with your intentions, and learn the "tools of the trade" such as SSC and RACK (not to mention Shibari!) then you'll get on great here. Welcome! 😄

[dr****]

Honestly profiles with huge bios turn me off I don't need your life story before I even meet you let it flow organically

[As****]

Yeah hard pass if I have to ask for pics bc you only have a mugshot on your profile. Description says 3 word.... yeah hard pass. Take pride in yourself.... figure out your angles for photos !

[Be****]

Same thing with women, some of these bare minimum profiles or couple of photos that are exactly the same but yeah we have to put in the effort? I like to see another woman has more of a personality before I reach out, however that's not always applicable.

[Li****]

And yet I see the stats on those can be high. A single pretty photo seems to be worth more than any amount of bio.

[Deleted Member]

Zero info is zero interest from me. Also I look to see the last active. Because no point if their is no response

[de****]

I think oversharing happens a lot on the internet, so appreciate some mystery. Also, I personally value what little privacy remains in this world. To me, my sparse profile isn't about lack of effort - it's about all the above.

[Be****]

98% of the women’s profiles on here are fake.

[BD****]

BestFWB Then, I'm the 2% that's actually real 🤔

[Be****]

Thank god there is someone real on here

[Deleted Member]

I understand what you mean. But my question for you, what are your expectations? I'm in the process of adding more pics to my profile. I have 100% completed my profile. but I have no idea what people WANT to see.

[Vulkan69]

While I agree that minimal profile is to be taken with a pinch of salt, not everyone is tech/social media literate not comfortable with sharing pics of themselves.

[bi****]

I added content to my profile after seeing this bare minimum is the unfortunate standard. But I’m sure there is hesitation for closeted folks.

[Me****]

New on this site and the blanks I see in descriptions doesn't so much annoy me but frustrates me as not sure what they want and unable to determine if we at least click in profile mode .. beginners may be are hesitant or unsavvy and so I try to interact newbie to newbie .. Will continue to work my profile for more background

[sq****]

People have blank bios for a reason like me I cant litrally type what I want. It's part of my autism I dont do texting well. It's hard. So I put what I can but cant all the time. You have to be aware of things out of people's control

[To****]

Totally agree. Effort is the first sign of commitment, honesty, and readiness. If they are investing… this is a serious kinkster. No picture, no effort… no contact. Lol

As to hesitation for curious or closeted, then again… likely not a good pick, unless you’re all about rando.

[Deleted Member]

Sometimes if you want to know more you do something called asking. Sometimes people only say so much so that if someone was interested they would initiate contact. I think you are putting way too much effort into nothing.

[al****]

I know personally that if I see a profile that has no information that I don’t care what the person looks like, I’m not going to contact them. I’m not wanting to waste my time if I don’t even have an inkling to whether or not I have anything in common with them.

[Li****]

July 22, Deleted profile said:

Sometimes if you want to know more you do something called asking. Sometimes people only say so much so that if someone was interested they would initiate contact. I think you are putting way too much effort into nothing.

Cool, agreed asking is the right answer.

The question is, then, how does one ask without getting drowned in the sea of other similar PMs. It isn't like there is much to go off of to start with a deeply interesting question, or am I missing the obvious? (Totally possible with me)