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Doms, What Makes You Want to Claim Someone?


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Having control over someone is something gets my brain euphoric and send shockwaves through my body
For me, it’s the active submission. When a submissive woman gives you that “gift” It’s incredibly erotic that she wants you to own her that she desires it, even needs it.
I’m a newer dom but I love the feeling of being in charge and only like her being please if she earned it. I like being in control and having power over someone. Yes that is earned and I understand that it can be taken away. I also like make her o till she almost want to cry. 😢
First, it's always in her eyes; the urges and the yearnings. Then, the anticipation that betrays her through the trembling of either her voice, her legs, or her skin as I teach patience before other lessons. The fact that such a fragile thing entrust me to do anything and whatever to her... that's what really does it for me.
To own them or claim them is based on trust and respect, both ways. I have to be willing to trust them completely and them to trust me.

From there it is the play dynamic. Brat vs tamer, prey vs predator, sub vs dom, them vs me. Is it seamless? So we transition well?

She is my peace and calmness at the end of the day. Does it time bring peace and calm? Or does she make me angry?
So with me Ive notice it starts with small talk n banter back n forth to see where they are mentally some ppl don’t know how to be lead or simply relinquish some type of responsibility. I make sure i communicate particular thing/ways that I a, right that’s then followed with the option to walk down that path or they don’t subscribe. Talk gracefully but be assertive you then observe how the demeanor of the person changes either they tense up or they’ll relax n they eyes never lies!
Emotional intelligence. If she can handle her own emotional labor and doesn’t need me to manage her emotions? And instead desires to surrender to me - not from a place of codependency- but from a place of royalty?

Chefs kiss.

That’s it. That’s all of it
Honesty, Dedication and a level of Obedience.
Sweetestsadist
It has a few different factors for me. Is he truly submissive, or just wanting to get something out of it, for only himself? Is he devoted? Does he do what I want without hesitation (with limits already in place)? Do we have a connection other than kink? Can he seduce my brain as well?
There are hidden meanings behind the dominant personality. They feed on submission, ***, and awe. There is a fine line capable of breaking the boundaries of logic and drowning the dominant in endless arrogance.
In ancient theological myths, the gods punish, kill, drown, possess, and control—this is a purely divine trait. Yet in Greek mythology, the relationship between gods and humans created a kind of emotional balance: a blend of *** and love, awe and humility, possession and voluntary surrender.
But the dominant remains driven by a deep desire to become a god, and the submissive by a buried desire to become a victim
So the more the submission was visually noticed the more egotistical the dominant became.. And just when the submission got to a dead end and was ready to rebel then the dominant will slowly retreat
There is psychological benefits for both involved. Obviously I’m much more dominant but have been a /s in relationships for very very strong women. For me though, it’s self expression, trust, confidence, control. Guess I like molding someone and being the one in control of their pleasure.
The attention they give me both sexually and emotionally. If I see a sub exhibiting the capacity to care for me beyond just the playtime/session, it usually makes me desire more from/with them
as a Dom, it’s that spark of trust and surrender that pulls me in—when she opens up, craving my control, it flips my switch 🔥 For me, it’s her emotional depth, willingness to let go, and feeling connected at the core energy level that make her irresistible.
It truly depends on each person you interact with, its not really any one thing in particular. It just feels right. You can see and feel that she trusts you fully and completely to do with her as you please at any given time.
Knowing she is safe in your care and you will look after her both physically and emotionally. She knows she’s safe.
Not sure if that makes a lot of sense but thats about the best I can put it in words
For me BDSM is beyond kinks, it's about relationship and compromise and responsibility. So for me a true submissive woman wants to be a slave which is, taking away all ritualistic and folklore and myths about BDSM, just same as a wife in a relationship that both want to be forever.

So what turns me on most is what you said about how they open up, not only physically but about everything inside her, specially her wounds. It's how she goes increasing in trust and wanting to give all control to me, knowing she will be taken care of and she will serve with joy as a form to take care too and will be by side with commitment, understanding she has a responsibility to fulfill to her owner and a responsibility to be fulfilled to her.

It's the company of a person that has undressed not only her clothes but her soul.

And that she knows too she is seeing her master too, fully undressed so both can truly have a relationship in soul level, a "place to belong" and that they can both be truly themselves without any ***.

I think that is the ultimate goal of every BDSM relationship.

That's how I see of course, you people can have other views and disagree, but for me true BDSM means this.
Just now, domdegrader said:
For me BDSM is beyond kinks, it's about relationship and compromise and responsibility. So for me a true submissive woman wants to be a slave which is, taking away all ritualistic and folklore and myths about BDSM, just same as a wife in a relationship that both want to be forever.

So what turns me on most is what you said about how they open up, not only physically but about everything inside her, specially her wounds. It's how she goes increasing in trust and wanting to give all control to me, knowing she will be taken care of and she will serve with joy as a form to take care too and will be by side with commitment, understanding she has a responsibility to fulfill to her owner and a responsibility to be fulfilled to her.

It's the company of a person that has undressed not only her clothes but her soul.

And that she knows too she is seeing her master too, fully undressed so both can truly have a relationship in soul level, a "place to belong" and that they can both be truly themselves without any ***.

I think that is the ultimate goal of every BDSM relationship.

That's how I see of course, you people can have other views and disagree, but for me true BDSM means this.

The word f.e.ar got censored for some reason

Baby girl, what makes any of us unique from everyone else? Why do you choose to identify as sub? Your past maybe…
I chose my subs based primarily on compatibility… I don’t live 24/7/365… I prefer an equal relationship outside the bedroom… but inside our bedroom… that’s a different story. Hope this answers your question
The desire to claim comes from the desire to deeoen the underlying relationship that supports the play. It's just like any other form of taking a step further. Or deeper, in a relationship. It's pure meaningful connection
Look at me like I hung the moon and I’m never going to want to let that go.
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