Ignoring friendship requests - a 🚩?

[Se****]

Maybe it’s been asked before but I’m curious for people’s opinions.

Is ignoring or declining a friendship request of someone you’re speaking with/connecting with a red flag?

For context, I don’t mean a random out of the blue request. I mean when you’ve been chatting with someone and things seem good. To be honest I don’t usually send them but I’ve sent 2 recently, both ignored then declined (despite conversation continuing) and subsequently found out all was not as it seemed.

Is it a way to ensure others don’t know you’re speaking to someone else or is my brain overthinking it?

[ki****]

If they ain't happy to put on a mere friends list... then I would walk away

[ra****]

I guess not because ive never had any replies or luck on this app to be honest

[Deleted Member]

I'd argue its a bit of a red flag on this app, but that's due to fake accounts. If they don't accept requests I'd have a feeling they maybe weren't genuine, that and some people here are pretending to be part of the community but just want to steal *** from people

[Zu****]

It's a boundary. Friendly chatter is only that. Ask the person if they want to be your friend. Instead of blaming them for a reaction to your move. A move thst most probably you never thought if it was going to be welcomed or not. Think first. In my opinion, the red flag is the person, unfortunately you in this case, who requests my friendship without asking me if I want to move the chatter to the next level.

[Be****]

Nope , not a 🚩..

[Li****]

I don't think you're overthinking it, or, at least, I've always been overthinking it the same way as you.. to me it's just normal behaviour. If/when we click, then the friendship req is just coherent somehow. But hey, I'm not into playing (in the wrong way) or being fake or having 263892 side quests and projects as many of the people on this app, it would seem, so I guess I'm not good for statistics

[Mr****]

You can decide whether or not people show up as a friend on your list or not just like you can hide your messages received/sent so seems kinda strange. I wouldn’t say red flag though. I rarely engage at all with anyone if not verified or immediately upon creation as 90% of those accounts get deleted for being suspicious.

[Expert_DaddyDom]

Just like vanilla, Many Doms and Subs form a relation, but keep looking. It's strange why they can't be honest and upfront because ideally bdsm shouldn't have vanilla issues. For instance, if I want to be exclusive, I make that clear, and if I want to be poly or have subs, I make it clear which gives the girl a choice. But many *** if they are honest they will not get laid. And that's the harsh reality. Many have met Dom or Sub on here and entered into a relation. Their status will show "in D/S relation with XYZ" or pics, friend list is monitored. So I can understand why some may want to decline as it will reveal to one or the other that something is fishy!

[Deleted Member]

What's even worse are the bot accounts that don't let you message, so that people are ***d to buy points to "compliment" or whatever. Might have to uninstall, I feel a bit ripped off.

[Li****]

10 minutes ago, Zugzwang1584 said:

It's a boundary. Friendly chatter is only that. Ask the person if they want to be your friend. Instead of blaming them for a reaction to your move. A move thst most probably you never thought if it was going to be welcomed or not. Think first. In my opinion, the red flag is the person, unfortunately you in this case, who requests my friendship without asking me if I want to move the chatter to the next level.

The comments on this are a red flag bar yours.
🕯
The fact people think everyone just wants to add a bunch of strangers? What would be the purpose?
🕯
For me, adding a friend is for people I can actually see connecting with, keeping in touch with from afar, even as friends, in the community or a potential genuine match. I absolutely hate being friend requested by randoms and as you've stated, without them even asking or explaining they can see something in me to do so! Nearly as bad as the private gallery requests (even when I've made it perfectly clear I won't be accepting and have body and face photos available to view already!)
🤔
Couldn't agree more with your comment. Well said.

[cl****]

I always ask before I send one but I’m careful which ones I show on my profile. Especially if they are popular. I have had other guys that were friends with the same woman get on stalk my profile and even report it.

[Li****]

I think it depends on the person tbh. I really don't appreciate random friend requests on any app. Chances are I'm not the only one they're requesting. More one of many they're adding. And that isn't for me at all.
I'd only add if there is a chance of us connecting for online friendship, friendship irl or a connection for a playpartner/more.
Some think it's appropriate immediately, some after literally a few messages, some are a little more mature and wait to establish a connection and ask.
If I was to suggest anything, it's to wait some time before sending requests and even then, ask beforehand to see if they're on the same level. If they aren't interested and have ignored or declined, it's time to move on

[ha****]

It really depends on the context and how much you've interacted. since coming back to the app I've denied all friend requests because last time round it was all stop/start conversations that led nowhere. This time if there's no real connection and mutual effort I'll happily engage with people but I'm way more selective over who I invest any real effort in. ❤️

[Deleted Member]

I turn down requests from most men aka most of the fakes on here , because a friend can see into your private photos without request.

[Ar****]

I usually ask first 🤔 but I don't add many people anyway (at least, not in the grand scheme of things) - for example, one friend and I added each other this past week, and we have known and been chatting to each other on here for maybe four years. Just hadn't got around to it or ever needed to.

 

I don't think it's an inherent red flag. Some people will genuinely only want to add people whom they have met in person or at the very least perhaps spoken on the phone with.

 

However that doesn't mean you're overthinking though, they aren't mutually exclusive. I absolutely believe there are people here who will not add certain other people as friends/keep such things private because they are being duplicitous and wish to minimise any possibility of various partners and potentials from finding out about one another.

[Ar****]

23 minutes ago, WGWGG87 said:

I turn down requests from most men aka most of the fakes on here , because a friend can see into your private photos without request.

You have full control over who can see your private gallery, even somebody added as a friend can only view that content if you have granted permission (and those permissions can be withdrawn at any time by accessing the person under the "Friends" section of your account)

[ey****]

1 hour ago, TinyRalph98 said:

What's even worse are the bot accounts that don't let you message, so that people are ***d to buy points to "compliment" or whatever. Might have to uninstall, I feel a bit ripped off.

you're setting yourself up for fail there.   I don't agree with the whole bypass system - but if someone has their filters set so you can't message them, you shouldn't be trying to pay to bypass them.   That's a red flag in itself, so no wonder the folk don't message back

[ey****]

In general, context applies.   One thing I would add in - the system for friend requests on here is not really that great - so it's easy to miss someone has sent them 

[LeShoes]

Not sure 🤔? Many facets on frequency on the app? Viewed and ignored or not seen? I don’t get them so difficult to have opinion . Friend requests I make are constantly “ you need to have had a message before requesting “ . Rare I get interactions.

[Th****]

9 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

In general, context applies.   One thing I would add in - the system for friend requests on here is not really that great - so it's easy to miss someone has sent them 

I'm pretty sure it notifies the sender though if their request is denied. Does ot not? 

[Th****]

I have it stated explicitly in my profile that all friend requests sent without prior discussion will be denied. Same as requests for my private gallery and the latter might result in the end to any conversation or interaction, especially if it's virtually immediately. 

I've even deleted friends i've accepted because they did ask forst but didn't actually continue to interact with me. If you simply want to keep up with someone's activity on the site more that's what the "add to favorites" option is for. 

As for whether or not it's a 🚩 depends on specifics and is nuanced. There's not reqlly an either/or answer there, imo. 

Edited June 30 by ThaliaV

[cl****]

2 hours ago, WGWGG87 said:

I turn down requests from most men aka most of the fakes on here , because a friend can see into your private photos without request.

This is not true

[un****]

Sometimes people get wierd when you send a friend request . It could be fake account , or the fact that the connection is only a fantasy for them . I tend to lean towards fake account most of the time . I have been denied / rejected because the person was not really interested . I respect that way more than ghosting or no response at all . I feel that there are way too many fake accounts on here to be honest .

[Se****]

4 hours ago, Zugzwang1584 said:

It's a boundary. Friendly chatter is only that. Ask the person if they want to be your friend. Instead of blaming them for a reaction to your move. A move thst most probably you never thought if it was going to be welcomed or not. Think first. In my opinion, the red flag is the person, unfortunately you in this case, who requests my friendship without asking me if I want to move the chatter to the next level.

Let me be clear, I am aware it is a boundary and have declined many friend requests that have come from “friendly chatter”.

 These requests were not sent after “friendly chatter”.

 Further, I’m not “blaming them”, anyone is more than welcome to decline or ignore a friendship request. What I’m wondering is, given what subsequently transpired, in both cases, whether I ought to have seen it as any form of, lets not say red flag, lets say “minor warning”.